Why?

7/29/1994

I was reminded of one of my favorite Blues tunes yesterday. The lyrics came to mind during a phone call from Danny Buch of Atlantic Records. Danny was sharing his excitement about an idea that had blossomed into a great promotion for his company.

After commuting into New York City for who-knows-how-many years, Danny finally had enough of the silence he endured going through the Holland Tunnel. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the drive from New Jersey into the city, if you don’t go through the Holland Tunnel, you ain’t gonna get there. (Unless you go way north over the George Washington Bridge, but that another story, another promotion and another Editorial.) Anyhow, that trip through the tunnel can take anywhere from two to twenty minutes during a regular commute. More, of course, if there is an accident. And while you’re in the tube, you can’t hear anything. It’s like being underwater. You’re cut off from all communication with the outside world. Forget your radio. Forget your mobile phone. For those few minutes, you’re all alone with your thoughts. And for many people, especially New Yorkers, that can be a very scary feeling.

So Danny started playing, “What if?” and came up with some startling ideas. “What if we could somehow play music (Atlantic product, of course) to the people in the cars?” How could that happen? The tunnel shut out all forms of communication, didn’t it? Maybe…maybe not.

Danny had seen all the signs near airports instructing motorists to tune to a certain AM channel for traffic instructions. He wondered, “What if we could do the same thing in and around the Holland Tunnel? Impossible, right?

Danny checked it out and found that he could operate AM transmitters that broadcast in a very restricted area. If the transmitters operated at less than 1/10th of a watt (about ¼ of a mile in reach), the FCC had no jurisdiction. That meant no license to contend with, no rules and regulations to follow and, most important, no format restrictions.

Atlantic purchased the transmitters and produced tapes of their artists. This week, it’s B Tribe. Next week? Another artist. Sexy-voiced Sr. VP Promotion Andrea Ganis announces the song and the artist on the “station” and advises listeners where they can buy the CD at the lowest possibly price.

Atlantic promotion people swarmed the sidewalks on each side of the tunnel wearing sandwich boards advertising commuters to “Tune Your Radio To AM 1510 For Music And Money.” In the future, Atlantic plans to run contests giving away cash and prizes. Listeners will be told to go to specific retail outlets, buy the CD and possibly win thousands of dollars in cash.

Nearly two million people travel through the Holland Tunnel every day. Out of that two million, I’m sure there are many who work for companies that would benefit by some form of advertising to the rest of the moles. When the sandwich boards went up and the transmitters went on, the majority of those two million commuters said, “Holy Cow, why didn’t I think of that?”

It’s a fantastic promotion aimed at the primary, music-buying demographic sought by most advertisers. A cume-building monster. Forget quarter-hour increases, this locks your audience for tunnel time!

It’s designed for radio. It’s on radio. And a radio programmer didn’t think of it. Why?

That makes me want to puke.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m taking nothing away from Atlantic Records. As connected to radio as they are, Danny and Andrea could probably out program half the PDs out there anyhow.

This just points out how sometimes pointless radio can be to the listening public.

Network Forty, countless conventions, newspapers, newscasts and town criers have warned of the impending communications gridlock on the superhighway. With more and more outlets from which to choose, listeners will be tempted to abandon commercial radio. But that isn’t radio’s biggest problem. Radio’s biggest problem is radio. Why is there no creativity that used to make our medium exciting? Why are there no great promotions designed to stimulate the audience?

They ain’t here no more. Why? Because most programmers aren’t up to the task.

Most programmers spend too much time behind a music computer making sure the flow is right. Here’s a news flash: Why not design the format, define the rules and insist that the air personalities adhere to those rules? Give them the opportunity to create their own music flow within the format. If they can’t do it, find others who can.

Most PDs spend too much time in focus groups. Why? With all due respect, f you don’t inherently know who your audience is and what music they like, find another line of work.

Why can’t you make your station exciting? Stop spending so much time researching your audience. Spend more time on developing a market through exciting promotions.

What happened to innovation? Excitement? The guts to do something so off-the-wall that it attracts listeners to your attitude…not your 10-in-a-row format that anyone and everyone can duplicate? More and more, the audience is identifying with that attitude. Music and formatics are important, but with music crossing formatic barriers with listener impunity, you have to do more to make your station stand out from the rest.

What will make the difference? Your talent.

Basically, every Top 40 plays the same hits; what should set a station apart is an aggressive and entertaining promotional presence…a presence that can only be found in the theatre-of-the-mind. Imagine WNCI packing four listeners in a “B.O. Sphere” car or KQHT’s “Turkey Bungee Jumping.” Why are stations such as KROQ, KRBE and KDWB regularly featured on our Promotions Page? Because too many Top 40s simply give away cash and concert tickets to the umpteenth caller.

Why?

Because as a program director, you’re spending too much time on other things that aren’t as important. Or because you just aren’t good enough.

Oh year. The name of the song? Delbert McClinton’s “Why? Why? Why?”

You had to ask?

Conclave

7/25/1994

The largest contingent of radio and record people in the country got together last week in Fargo, North Dakota. That should have been the tip-off. We were al supposed to be in Minneapolis. But such are the stories that make the Conclave what it is. Don’t press me on an exact definition.

But, there we were. In Fargo. On the taxi-way. Waiting for the weather in Minneapolis to break. Planes and people from all points west. Los Angeles…San Francisco…San Diego. In Fargo. In the rain. In a plane. What a pain!

I could look out the window and wave to Dave Sholin. He was in another plane. On the same runway. Waiting. Like me, not happy. Unlike me, he wasn’t as vocal about it.

This story will tell you a thing or two about the Conclave and the people who attend. There is a point and I will get to it…eventually. On my flight, among other luminaries, was Laura Henson of Island. I didn’t know Laura very well when we boarded. After Fargo, I feel she is one of my closest friends. Three hours in Fargo does, after all, seem like a lifetime.

Our plane was due to arrive in Minneapolis at five o’clock. After the thunderstorms, tornadoes, hail, fire and brimstone closed the airport, we were informed that our flight wouldn’t touch down in the Twin Cities until ten-thirty. This is five-and-a-half hours after our scheduled arrival. Both of us were being met by radio programmers. During our sojourn in Fargo, after the second (or was it the third?) double-vodka, we figured that our rides had long since given up hope that we would be arriving within a reasonable waiting period and had returned home. We would be left to fend for ourselves.

Not that we were nervous about it. Minneapolis, though quite off the path beaten to death by all of us in the business, still provided taxis. I was sure of it. Not positive, mind you, but pretty sure. Rumor had it.

Anyhow, we decided to share a cab once the plane landed. Of course, that was assuming we would ever leave Fargo. And we did. Eventually. We landed in the Twin Cities at ten-forty-five.

So what’s the point?

The radio people who promised to meet us were there waiting. Both of them. Smiling.

Tell the truth. Have any of you reading this ever waited for over five hours at the airport to pick up anyone other than a close family member? Don’t even think about it. You know you haven’t. But that’s the Conclave. And the people who attend it. And, I guess, the people of the Midwest in general.

My only question is are they really this nice or is Minneapolis so boring that waiting at the airport is more exciting than just about anything else there is to do?

The answer is yes. The face it, they really are and it really is.

So why go to the Conclave? Hey, for one thing, we’ve had about a convention a month this year and I wanted to make sure Network Forty was represented at all of them. No matter where I had to travel. Besides, the Conclave is fun…sort of. The people are nice. And it is the only place that you can really sit down, meet new faces and have a dialogue that is meaningful. If only you didn’t have to fly Northwest.

Minneapolis is a trip in itself. Full of very white people who breathe through their mouths and have a lot of space between their eyes. And their teeth. My kind of folks.

The Conclave has meetings that begin at nine in the morning. And they’re full. What’s wrong with this picture?

Minneapolis has to be the only major city in the country where the O.J. Simpson trial wasn’t the main topic of conversation, thank God. Actually, there wasn’t a main topic of conversation. Come to think of it, there wasn’t a lot of conversation, either.

But where else can you drink for two hours with 12 guys at the bar and the tab comes to $55? The biggest rumor at the Conclave was that TGI Fridays was closing. Steve Leavitt usually hosts a dinner for radio people there and this year he didn’t make it. That caused a lot of forlorn faces. Mark Gorlick more than made up for it, however, and in the process spoiled a lot of programmers with the MCA dinner at Ruth’s Criss. That TGI Fridays ruse won’t work next time, Leavitt.

The Conclave is a little quirky. It reminds me of Ocean Spray cocktails. They both mix odd combinations of fruits. At first glance, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but once you experience it in total, it’s tangerine!

Where else could you find a panel that consisted of legendary programmer Paul Drew and soon-to-be-legendary Jerry Clifton? It was 20 years ago this summer when Drew pulled Clifton from oblivion and hired him to program the RKO station in New York City. Drew asked me to spend some time with Jerry to teach him the RKO way. WE both got dead drunk. I would like to take credit for teaching Clifton a thing or two, but I honestly think he already knew how to drink.

And where else could you find me agreeing with Joel Denver? (Almost. About monitored airplay. In a meeting hosted by Dave Sholin. What can I say? I got confused. It happens in meetings with Sholin.) I just feel that in many cases, the record industry is placing importance on radio stations for the wrong reasons. All to often, a stations becomes important because it is monitored…not because of an aggressive music policy or because it sells records. It reminds me of the Parallel System the industry fought so hard to lose. We should be careful to judge each radio station’s worth on individual merits. Not because of ordained status.

Hey, it’s just my opinion.

As at just about every convention, some of the panels went too long and some of the speakers were a bit boring. I even left my panel early, so I can’t blame everybody else. But taken as a whole, the Conclave remains unique among all conventions. Unique enough that I’ll go back next year and give it another shot.

Maybe they should hold it in Fargo!

Additives

7/22/1994

An uneasy alliance has been formed between the record and radio communities. It’s an alliance most won’t speak about out loud and some don’t even know exists. But it is a situation that grow more interesting with each passing week.

We’re talking plays…spins…spikes. Versus adds.

Interesting.

It wasn’t so very long ago that adds were all that mattered. Adds were phat, parallel status was where it was at and a chart could be rigged at the drop of a hat. At the very least, several dozen CD players. Or maybe a late Tuesday afternoon promise of a trip to Hawaii (which one Sr. VP of Promotion still owes me!)

There was a time when promotion people pushed hard for the add. Not that they don’t still push hard today, but airplay is the key.

I’ve heard statements recently that were never thought about six months ago. “I don’t care whether or not he adds it as long as he plays it. “ “I don’t want to push to hard for the add. He’s already playing it and I don’t want to scare him off.” Those are a couple that are in power rotation.

Maybe the entire process needs to be analyzed more thoughtfully. So often, the needs of both records and radio are served by the same purpose. And yet, many times, both industries seem to go out of the way to work against the process, rather than work together to accomplish that goal.

By and large, record companies have the ability to establish the ground rules of competition. Let’s face it, it wasn’t radio that created the parallel system. And if the system wasn’t exactly created by record companies, most welcomed it as a way to best serve their needs. With promotions and attention, record companies determine who and what is important.

It was the record industry that fostered adds. It was the way they kept score. It was how we found out who were the winners and losers. Under the parallel system, how many stations were on a record was all-important. How many times the record was played wasn’t a big consideration. Few in the record companies made it a priority, so at first, few ver asked. But soon, unfortunately, another practice became common. Because record companies needed a way to keep score and because adds were applauded like touchdowns, getting that add became all-important. So important, in some cases, that airplay wasn’t even mentioned. Many times, airplay wasn’t requested. Occasionally, it was suggested to programmers that airplay wasn’t even wanted. Just the add.

The system became more and more perverse.

A funny thing began to happen on this yellow brick road to terminal bliss. Many records that were most added weren’t hits. Not that there was anything wrong with that. I mean, who really knows what records are hits until they are exposed to the public? So, having a record that was most added not become a hit wasn’t catastrophic. In some instances, it was advantageous. At least you found out whether or not you had a hit relatively quickly.

That’s when funnier things began happening. Records that were getting a lot of adds weren’t getting a lot of play. The records weren’t becoming hits because the audience didn’t hear them. That wasn’t right.

Records that shipped Gold returned Platinum.

The practice eventually led to the downfall of the parallel system and, in a parallel move, to the downfall of those who promoted it. Record companies went “Back To The Future” to determine what made a hit. The bottom line is the bottom line: If it sells, it’s a hit. If it doesn’t, it isn’t.

We always knew that, but over time the words got in the way and our priorities were a little out of whack.

Suddenly, almost without warning, faster than you could say, “Plays Per Week and BDS,” the rules changed. The parallel system and the coveted award of “Most Added” began gathering dust. Neither was important any longer. Today, airplay rules. Whether or not a radio station officially adds a record is becoming a moot point. It is the airplay that matters.

Some programmers want to hold on to the power of official adds. It gives them the opportunity to test records without getting pressure from the record companies to add a specific record into a weekly rotation.

That power is a wisp of smoke.

Programmers have to place to hide. With the advent of Plays Per Week, BDS and honest reporting, record companies know what records are getting airplay…even by daypart. Who are we trying to fool by testing records during the week and not adding them?

Of course, there is a flip side. (Isn’t there always?) If record companies don’t care about official adds, then pressure for additional plays should be carefully guarded. If programmers are going to let what they play be their official list (and those in monitored markets don’t have a choice), then record companies must allow the programmers to experiment with records in various degrees. Playing certain records only in morning drive, adding others in a night rotation and spiking some sporadically throughout the week are ways for radio to research a specific record’s strength. Record companies must understand that a test is just that: a test. If a station is testing a record, record companies must have patience to work with the station. Screaming for increased rotations before the testing is complete can only hurt the record company’s relationships in the future. And it won’t do the tested record a lot of good either.

Record companies must understand that this type of honesty opens up other cans of worms. Sometimes a radio station will play a record only five or six times, then drop it from airplay the following week. Record companies must be ready to argue unemotionally for re-testing or increased rotations. It will sometimes make the job more difficult, but it is the way we will all be doing business in the future.

Both industries are after the same end. Both want to find out what records are hits. How we get to that end is what makes us different. Most record companies are concentrating on plays and spins, not adds. Radio stations should do the same.

O.J.

7/8/1994

I opened up this morning’s L.A. Times and was stunned. For the first time since the crime, there was nothing on the front page about O.J. Simpson. This was, of course, the Tuesday after a long 4th of July holiday. The Los Angeles press had written just about everything there was to right or wrong about anybody and everything connected. So I suppose the L.A. Times could be forgiven. They finally ran out of ink. If only for a day.

I feel confident that my O.J. jones will be fixed with the resumption of the hearing. I’m sure the L.A. Times will find headlines for the rest of this week’s editions. It is, after all, an editor’s dream. Not enough real news for the front page? Drop in some more O.J. Need filler for page 10? Drop in some O.J. Running short in the Sports Section? How about some pictures of O.J. in a football uniform?

And television? They can’t get enough O.J. You have every anchor at every channel doing a stand-up from the crime scene with their special “input” and spin. I drove by the Juice’s house this weekend. The police won’t let most civilians get near the gates. It’s not because they’re afraid of spoiling the crime scene. It’s because there is so much traffic from news reporters that other cars would cause gridlock. My fault. I forget to check the O.J. traffic reports on cable O.J.T.V.

And the captions sound like Hard Copy at its best. “Limo driver lives with mother.” (What a cad!) “Kato is an actor/writer who pays no rent.” (That’s a scoop in Hollywood?) “O.J. put his own bags in the trunk.” (Unbelievable.)

Between print and video, we’ve seen just about every stone turned. (Except Mick and the boys. Their new album isn’t due for another week!) Each medium regurgitates daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute accounts of the nothing that is sometimes happening. There’s even coverage on the coverage. Imagine, the reporting of the news is becoming a bigger story.

So what does a Contemporary Music radio station do when a story of this magnitude breaks?

Most of them take gas.

Years ago, some idiot read a piece of research upside down and became convinced that the audience of a Top 40 radio station was not interested in news. Under the guise of research, news was removed from most Top 40 stations. It remains an endangered species today.

It wasn’t research that killed news. It was budget cuts. Was this right? In a perfect world, no. Was it necessary? In most cases, yes.

It is a fact that the majority of listeners don’t want to hear a lot of news. (They also don’t want to hear commercials, but we manage to run the anyhow.) A case can be made for updating the listeners hourly…particularly in the morning and afternoon hours. Noon wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

Does anyone reading this believe your audience would tune out for a one-minute news update? Rephrase your research questions. Ask it again and get back to me.

Music radio does not operate in a vacuum. Our listeners are in touch with more than just music. We must be in touch with all things of interest to them.

It is important to have a semi-literate news person on your staff for several reasons. Three really stand out:

First, someone from your station must be in daily contact with news sources (police, fire, etc.) so when a big story breaks (and sooner or later, one always does), you will have someone familiar to the sources so your station can gain information. You won’t get anything from anyone if they aren’t already familiar with you.

Second, news should be a regular part of your programming so your audience will feel secure in the knowledge that if something does happen, they will hear about it on your station. Why give them a reason to tune out to get the latest news. Give it to them in 60 seconds. Like a quick dose of medicine. They know it’s good for them. Then they’ll feel safe knowing that if the world does come to an end, they’ll hear about it on your station right after the newest release by Pearl Jam.

Third, you’ll have someone to do those terrible public service interviews required by the FCC. (Hey, this is reason enough to hire a college graduate holding a broadcast degree with no hope of employment anywhere else!)

And when there is a breaking story, make your station a part of it…in news as well as promotions. A Top 40 radio station cannot connect with every breaking news story. But as a program director, you should be acutely aware of the stories that capture the attention of your listeners.

Right after Simpson’s judge revealed the mysterious evidence in a manila folder, your stations should have been giving away manila folders with something secret inside.

You should also have your air talent connecting with the drama. I’m not talking liners; I’m talking about being a part of it.

Having a morning talent like Rick Dees giving afternoon updates on the O.J. Simpson trial would be great theatre. It adds an element that no other station could match.

Making your morning talent part of the story (and conversely, your afternoon talent part of the morning updates) connects them with the listeners in a positive way. Your audience hears your air talent introducing and talking about songs and entertainment facts. Putting them in the middle of an important news event makes them sound more connected and knowledgeable. Your audience might even start to trust them. And believe them. And listen to them more.

It’s one thing to comment on the story as an interested observer, but it is important to actually be a part of it. By giving the audience information “from the scene” or from a source makes the audience think your talent is special.

“Did you hear what Rick Dees said about the trial?” is a lot more relatable than, “Did you hear what Channel 4 said?” If your talent is a part of the reporting, they also must become a part of the story.

There is another, more diabolical reason to have your morning talent (or any other jock that occasionally lets his ego get in the way) reporting some news stories. The next time he ticks you off, send him to the ghetto to cover those riots up close and personal.

And make sure he doesn’t forget the phrase that pays: “Don’t lose ’em, news ’em!”

Poe-try

7/1/1994

It is the only true sign that summer is upon us. Forge the rising mercury…the afternoon thunderstorms…the mini-skirts…thongs…baseball…vacation plans and the drop-tops moving down the main drag. The question that truly puts an end to spring while marking the beginning of the dog days…the six words that put it all into perspective: “Are you going to the Poe?”

For nearly a quarter-century, Bobby Poe has held his convention in Virginia. This includes his attempts to move the thang to Atlanta. A lot of slick operators convinced Bobby that he should go big-time and take his convention to a larger, more centrally located city. They said it would be better. Attract more people. Make more money.

They were wrong.

The Poe just doesn’t play in convenient surroundings. You can’t just drop in. You have to want to go.

How did this all come about? Why are we arguing the value of conventions? To understand the phenomenon of the Bobby Poe convention, you must go back in history. It just so happens that 23 years ago, Bobby decided to invite a bunch of his friends down for a gathering.

Because that’s what it was. And that’s what it always has been. A gathering of friends.

In the beginning, it was the Bobby Poe Convention. That didn’t fit. It became, simply, the Poe. And it was good. It has endured the test of time. It’s kind of like the Masters. Well, maybe not.

Those who are quick to condemn the Poe because “nothing is ever accomplished” should have to file a report on the major accomplishments at other conventions. Has anyone ever stood up during the middle of a panel discussion anywhere and said, “I understand. I have been wrong. I have seen the light. I will change my ways beginning first thing tomorrow?”

Conventions, all conventions, are more often judged today on what they don’t accomplish. And most don’t accomplish a lot.

Where the Poe differs from the others is that it never promised a lot in the first place.

It wasn’t so very long ago that there were only two conventions a year: Gavin on the West Coast and the Poe back East. Now, it seems like there is a convention every third week or so for something. I mean, are we gathering next week in New York for the New Music Convention or are we massing for a Conclave in Minneapolis? Or is there a video deal in Miami or that computer interaction in Las Vegas? Maybe it’s a Dance thing in New Jersey, or a Blues forum in Memphis or a Jazz-t-thon in New Orleans.

And who is speaking at these things? President Clinton? Tipper Gore? The head of the FCC?

Who cares?

The Poe has always been special. It wasn’t who was speaking, but who was there. It wasn’t who was on the panels, but who was hanging in the halls. It was then, and it is today, a long weekend hang with no pressure. I gave us all the time to get to know others in the business.

Oh, there was a time when the Poe was a rite of passage. You hadn’t grown up in radio or records until you had experienced your first Poe.

Who can forget the nude couple who descended on the escalator at two o’clock in the morning while being egged on to greater exhibitions by a crowd of revelers? Or the time the breakfast meetings were cancelled and the bars opened at 7 am? What happened to the hookers who roamed the halls and the aging beauties in evening gowns who attended the gala cocktail party?

And the Poe always brought out the best characters. Was that Bill Drake holding court in the bar? Buzz Bennett spending the night in the elevator? John Fagot with the pig’s head? Long John challenging somebody…anybody to a fight. There’s Scott Shannon saying he doesn’t know anything about ratings except how to make them go up. Didn’t Bob Wilson get invited early in the launch of R&R? He did have a few drinks and tried to play guitar with a local band. I know, because I was with him. And the ghost of John Long lives at every Poe with the sightings of a chubby streaker chugging through the lobby with a lighted tail of toilet paper stringing behind. Was a winner ever determined in those fire extinguisher Olympics? What about the MD who was found in the grocery store shopping in her nightgown? And can anyone forget Jim Davenport, who always brought an excuse from his wife allowing him to fool around “just a little?”

And before you start complaining that it’s all about the good old days, it was only last year when two label executives got into a screaming match in the hotel lobby, innocent comments made in two panel discussions made headlines (and problems for the individuals) and the boa made his first appearance.

Long before it became fashionable, Bobby started a golf tournament. Why? Because some people wanted to play. That’s all it takes at the Poe. Why are you doing that? Because someone wanted to do that. It’s that simple.

Pretense? There’s none at the Poe. The most egotistical radio or record person will eventually be brought down in flames. That bar is a nasty place for phonies, especially after midnight.

So what if Bobby nominates everybody for everything? So does Gavin. And who wasn’t proud when they won? Those who have given an acceptance speech at one Poe or another read like a Who’s Who of the radio and record industries.

Maybe there aren’t quite as many people who attend as before. The truth is that there aren’t as many people in our business as before. Real people. The Poe still draws more than those regional or specialized deals that pop up in other places.

In a couple of years, we’ll be celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Poe and many feel it may be the last. If that happens, I’ve got a feeling we’ll miss the camaraderie and the good times. We’ll miss the opportunity to make complete and total fools of ourselves without any repercussions because we can blame it on the Poe.

I’ll certainly miss the longest running industry poker game in history. And since I’m down a couple of dollars, I’ve got only one thing to say to those of you who want to be critical of the Poe:

Shut up and deal.

Blink!

Whoa!

It seems that last week’s Editorial about charts and trades struck a nerve.

For the better part of a year, Network Forty has been printing facts about the industry in general and R&R in particular. We questioned the R&R reporter base; it changed. We attacked the “Parallel System:” R&R dropped it. We pointed out the irregularities in the R&R charts; R&R debuted a new series of charts.

R&R made all these changes with no mention of Network Forty. It was like R&R was the old AM station with the big cume and Network Forty was the upstart FM with nothing but an attitude. Ignore them and they’ll go away. Right?

Last week, R&R blinked. To put it in radio terms (after all, Network Forty is made up of nothing but radio people), R&R reacted to Network Forty‘s promos.

R&R Publisher/CEO Bob Wilson sent a letter to R&R‘s radio reporters. In the letter, R&R attacks the credibility of Network Forty and BDS.

First, I would like to personally thank Mr. Wilson for the publicity. Since Bob mentions no other chart (except the Billboard chart derived from BDS information), it is obvious that the Publisher and CEO of R&R believes that Network Forty and BDS are the only competition.

Bob, we thank you for your endorsement.

It is true that Bob believes R&R‘s charts are superior to both Network Forty and BDS. Hey, it’s his publication. We won’t fault him for thinking his stuff is the best. He’s wrong, of course.

A number of his observations are wrong as well. Before writing the letter, maybe Bob should have checked with Joel Denver. Joel is familiar with dogs that don’t hunt. It’s evident that Bob has released another group of hounds that can’t find the rabbit.

To wit: The letter accuses Network Forty of being a mystery because we have “…no reporter list, no playlists, no back-up every shown.” Aw, Bob, you should have done your homework. Network Forty produces a laminated page of all reporting stations each quarter. This laminate is sent to all our subscribers. Since Bob doesn’t subscribe, he didn’t get this laminate. Heck, we’ll send him one anyway. Since it provides phone numbers and contacts, R&R might finally be able to talk with people in radio. That would be a switch.

Selected playlists are reprinted in Network Forty each week. To save trees, we don’t print them all. No one has the time to read playlist info from all of our 267 reporters…a universe that is 50% larger that R&R‘s. As far as back-up, Network Forty provides the only regional break-outs of PPWs. Network Forty provides the only in-depth analysis of record activity with our exclusive “Next Forty” information. Since R&R ripped off Network Forty‘s Plays Per Week label, perhaps R&R would like to steal these ideas, too.

Bob defends R&R‘s refusal to accept faxed playlists by saying that faxed lists are easy to fabricate. Like a phone call to R&R isn’t? Hey, Bob, the truth is, many in radio have been phoning those fabricated playlists for years. That’s why BDS became popular in the first place.

In the letter, R&R has the gall to call Billboard’s Hot 100 suspect because of a mysterious formula of plays and sales. The only thing more mysterious than R&R‘s formula for tabulating charts is the origin of the Black Hole.

R&R takes exception to the fact that Network Forty and BDS use no weighting in formulating charts. Bob says, “Do you actually go along with a play in New York or Boston being given equality to a play in Tyler, Texas?”

We realize more people hear a record played in New York than in Tyler. We also know that programmers recognize the difference. A programmer understands that a record added on Z100 means more than an add in East Jesus, Nebraska. They don’t need a chart to tell them that. In fact, programmers don’t need charts for finite reasons. No programmer looks at any chart and copies it as he own. Each market is different. Good programmers look at “real” charts to see how a particular record is doing and/or make sure they aren’t missing anything. Network Forty has never said weighting is bad. Network Forty did say that the obviously bloated weighting of R&R puts far too much emphasis on major markets. Since most majors play fewer songs than smaller markets, weighting majors in a disproportional manner can cause stagnation and make it harder for new records to get an accurate test. Which, in the end, hurts radio. And records.

The real reason for the R&R letter is obvious. R&R is about to change the way their chart is compiled. Again. R&R will, Bob says, “…install the new formula with the next reporter change in a few weeks.” R&R will also begin accepting faxed playlists as soon as they develop a “fax verification system.” Speaking of mysteries, is this like the RQC (Reporter Qualification Committee) R&R debuted a few months ago?

Once again, soon after heralding its innovations as the best in the business, R&R changes them because the R&R system simply won’t hunt (see: “this dog…). Whatever R&R implements, a short time later, R&R will devise yet another silly formula that Joel will say is the best ever, then try to shove it down radio’s throats. When will R&R notice that radio isn’t swallowing anymore?

R&R wasn’t the only publication that got a little bent out of shape because of the Network Forty Editorial last week. One of the honchos at Hits took exception to my comment that nobody reads Hits. He demonstrated his professionalism and maturity be personally calling to tell me he was going to “stick his dick in my ass.”

I love the guys at Hits and I expected a reaction, but hardly these extremes. I’m going to have to pass on your offer, fella, but I’m sure someone of your obvious talent and personality will have no trouble finding a willing partner.

Even Gavin took umbrage with my comments. Bill called several times, but didn’t leave a number where I could reach him.

As radio pays more and more attention to Network Forty and BDS, it is clear that R&R is resorting to desperate measures to try and hold on to the dominant position it held for so long. Like a ballplayer staying past his prime, R&R tries new deliveries, curves, sliders, tricks and gimmicks to hide the fact that it has lost the fastball.

It once was only R&R. It’s quickly becoming just Network Forty and BDS. Maybe it’s time for R&R to crawl up on the porch and let the big dogs run in the streets.

Charts

6/10/1994

“I got your chaht right heah! It’s the best chaht in da bidness! Step right up folks and see it shine! Use it and win a stuffed animal for this little lady! Step right up, folks!”

Ah, Charts. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em. Butu in reality, what’s it all about, Alfie?

In the past year, there have been more chart changes than ever before. We’ve got new charts (R&R), blue charts (Gavin), old charts (Billboard) and no charts (Hitmakers).

We have programmers who like some charts. Programmers who hate all charts. Record guys, of course, love all charts…the thought being that if there are enough charts floating around, you can find your record doing reasonably well on at least one of them.

So, which is the right one?

Network Forty, of course.

Actually, there are two charts (and only two) that are accurate: The Network Forty Plays Per Week Chart and the Monitor charts. All the rest suck. And Network Forty’s PPW Chart is more accurate than Monitor because our reporter base is much larger. We have more information from more radio stations than any other trade. The Network Forty PPW Chart is truly the most accurate, in-depth measure of a song’s success. Period.

Want a taste test? Fine. Put on the blindfold and prepare to ingest the following information:

First, let’s look at Radio & Records. (We’ll wait a few moments for the laughter to die down.) R&R has problems in several areas. First, believability. Few believe that the information R&R receives from radio reporters is accurate. Since R&R takes “guesstimates” on the phone, there is a lot of room for possible manipulation. If the information isn’t believable, how can the chart be otherwise? Unless and until R&R begins taking faxed, computer print-outs from radio stations’ music software systems, their information is flawed.

And, of course, even if R&R finally wises up and begins to take faxed lists, their charts will continue to be screwed up. The weighting system used by R&R has been defined, deleted and redefined. And it remains complex, convoluted, confusing and is guaranteed to cause constipation with use!

R&R’s weighting system is absurd. There’s no way to examine the weighting system as R&R has so far been unable to explain it. Should larger markets be given greater consideration than smaller markets? Theoretically, maybe. Should Z100 count 20 times more than 99X? No way.

R&R also confounds the problem by running raw data through Arbitron ratings. How ridiculous is that? Everyone with half a brain knows that Arbitron does not accurately reflect the actual listening time of the radio audience. Arbitron’s ratings of the Top 40 and Rock audience is even further off. Yet R&R uses Arbitron as a source. Someone over there needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

R&R’s use of Arbitron is one reason the chart is inaccurate. The weighting is incorrect. The method of retrieving information is inadequate. The chart is insane.

Billboard tries real hard. The Hot 100 is also weighted, but the system isn’t nearly as complicated as R&R. It has been around for a long time and has some disciples. Many like the fact that the Hot 100 chart takes sales into account along with airplay. Although the Hot 100 does make SoundScan a part of the process, there is a problem with the Billboard methodology. The airplay and sales are not generated within the same time frame. Wouldn’t it make sense to use the same days to figure sales and airplay if a chart is to be used from the total figures?

The Billboard Hot 100 is also weighted, but the system isn’t nearly as complicated as R&R’s.

There is also a problem in depending on SoundScan to accurately reflect sales. As is the case with BDS, our industry sometimes accepts SoundScan research as the Bible when, in fact, SoundScan monitors less than 50% of actual record sales. Although useful to reflect a national sales picture, particularly with established artists, SoundScan misses break-out records in many regions. We should always remember that SoundScan is a projection, not a fact.

Because sales figures usually run substantially behind airplay, (and because Billboard’s sales figures are older than the airplay used) the Hot 100 chart generally is slower than most others. It better reflects what happened rather that what is happening.

Gavin? Although threatening to go to a Plays Per Week system, Gavin still prints a playlist chart. If Bill was still alive, I could understand it. He’s not and Gavin should use PPWs.

Hitmakers doesn’t print charts. (Leave off the “charts from the previous sentence and Hitamakers would finally have it right!) With luck, maybe Hitmakers can print the playlist chart when Gavin drops it.

Hits? Nobody in radio reads Hits charts. Nobody in radio reads Hits. And since Hits uses only R&R stations in its data base, what’s the point?

The Monitor? The most accurate compilation of airplay available, with only one problem. The Monitor uses BDS data so the sample size isn’t large enough. Increase the sample size to monitor all markets and the data will be more accurate.

The Network Forty is the only publication that monitors all radio stations in the Top 40 format. We use this information to compile our charts. Because of our process (Network Forty uses computer-generated airplay reports filed via fax) and data base (Network Forty has over 265 reporters compared to R&R’s 173 and Monitor’s top 100 markets), Network Forty’s charts are the most comprehensive and most accurate available.

Although BDS is generally reliable in reporting airplay, the BDS reporter base is extremely limited. How limited? A couple of weeks ago, BDS ranked “All-4-One” as the most-played singles with over 6,000 spins. Network Forty also ranked “All-4-One” number one with nearly 11,000 spins! A lot of airplay out there is being missed by BDS. A whole lot. Depending only on BDS and the Monitor leaves out major pieces of the Mainstream radio pie.

As we see it, Network Forty and Monitor are great. R&R, Billboard, Gavin, Hitmakers and Hits are worthless.

Network Forty and Monitor are the only charts you need. Throw the rest away.

 

 

 

 

Pissed Off

6/3/1994

I am a little pissed off today. How is that different from any other day? Not much. On a strictly day-to-day basis, I find myself pissed off a lot.

I’m not talking about being inconvenienced, hurt, disappointed, upset or angry. I’m talking pissed off. Let me explain. You’re inconvenienced if you make a dinner date with someone and they cancel. You’re pissed off if that person is someone you’ve been waiting a long time to see and he or she blows you off without regard to your feelings. You’re angry if the person ditches you and goes out with someone you hate.

Do you get my drift? Pissed off falls somewhere in the middle of emotional extremes. It’s more than a little annoying, but short of an insanity defense for murder. No one has yet been acquitted of a felony by pleading to the judge that he was just too pissed of to reason correctly. Yet.

Pissed off is not a state of mind. You can be depressed for no obvious reason. You can be happy for no particular reason. But to be pissed off, you must have a reason. Something or someone has to be blamed. This is called, “What pisses you off.”

After giving more than a little thought to the subject (so much that I began to get pissed off), I determined that the particulars that piss me off fall into four, broad categories. You may disagree, but I don’t care. (Does that piss you off?) Those categories are: People, Places, Things and Situations.

Shall we begin?

People who piss me off:

  1. Jehovah’s Witnesses.
  2. President Clinton. (Be a man. Make a decision. Run in long pants. Blow the sax instead of the country.
  3. Lawyers.
  4. Bartenders.
  5. Talking airline pilots. (You know, those who feel compelled to tell you about every monument the plane passes over while you’re trying to sleep.)
  6. Personal things.
  7. Dan Rostenkowski
  8. Egotistical program directors who believe they are geniuses, not realizing it’s where they are, not who they are, that makes them important to the industry. (All who support Network Forty are, of course, excluded from this category. The fact that they support Network Forty proves that they are wise and intelligent people.)
  9. Egotistical record executives who think they are geniuses. It’s the artist, stupid! (All who advertise and support Network Forty are, of course, excluded from this category. The fact that they advertise and support Network Forty proves that they are wise and intelligent people.)
  10. Bruce Hix.
  11. Referees.
  12. The Heavyweight Champion of the World. (Whoever he is.)
  13. Any maitre’de who doesn’t recognize me.
  14. Good dancers.
  15. Bad drivers. (Defined as anyone else driving any other car except me.)
  16. People who take credit for getting everyone their jobs.
  17. Those who talk in movies.
  18. Proctologists.
  19. Television evangelists. (Except Dr. Gene Scott. He rocks.)
  20. Those who call me and ask, “Who is this?” when I answer. (You called me, idiot!)
  21. The Chrome Lizard.
  22. Waiters who introduce themselves.
  23. Moonies.
  24. Dwayne “Hillbilly” Ward.

Places that piss me off:

  1. Airports.
  2. Political fund-raisers.
  3. Airplanes.
  4. The backseats of cars.
  5. New Jersey.
  6. Georgia.
  7. Dentist offices.
  8. Emergency rooms.
  9. Anywhere a tuxedo is required.
  10. The upper deck.
  11. San Francisco.
  12. Traffic school.
  13. Banks.
  14. Jewelry stores that always offer 50% off.
  15. Being last in line.
  16. Dude ranches.
  17. Court.

Things that piss me off:

  1. Parking tickets.
  2. Traffic tickets.
  3. Intelligence tests.
  4. A wicked slice.
  5. Panty hose.
  6. Rolls Royces (and the people who drive them).
  7. Pay television.
  8. Reruns.
  9. The Super Bowl.
  10. Tuesday Music Day.
  11. Deadlines.
  12. One particular record company.
  13. Reading glasses.
  14. Low toilets.
  15. AIDS.
  16. “Stairway To Heaven.”
  17. Telethons.
  18. Answering machines.
  19. 3-piece suits.
  20. Opening acts.
  21. Computers.
  22. The wave.
  23. MTV.
  24. Classic Rock.

Situations that piss me off:

  1. Planes that are late when I’m on time.
  2. Planes that are on time when I’m late.
  3. Waiting in a doctor’s office after making an appointment.
  4. Standing in line to buy tickets.
  5. Not having the right pass to get backstage.
  6. To be continued…
  7. Say habla espanol.
  8. Have a nice day.

All of these people, places, things and situations piss me off. But the one constant…the one specific that day-after-day, week-after-week pisses me off the most is…me. I’m sure you can relate. And that really pisses me off.

Have a nice day.

Music Daze

5/27/1994

If you’re in the record business, Mondays are manic, Tuesdays you panic, Wednesdays are for paperwork filing, Thursdays you’re smiling and dialing, Fridays you hurry and on the weekends you worry. Why? Because radio does the music on Tuesdays. And therein lies the rub.

Why Tuesdays?

It is a fact that our business is abnormal in almost every facet. But our work week sometimes seems way out of whack. Is there a single day in any other industry that is as important as Tuesday is to ours? Does Reebok get that load of shoes on Tuesday? Does Apple incorporate their new software procedures on Tuesday? Do the airlines only fly on Tuesdays? Does the stock market depend on Tuesday’s Dow Jones to gauge the week? Does the Defense Department only go to war on Tuesdays? (Hold that thought. After a cursory check, it seems that an inordinate number of the USA’s actual police actions did begin on Tuesday. Maybe there is a hidden connection with the CIA.)

Most industries begin their weeks on Mondays and end on Fridays. Isn’t this how we invented weekends?

Not the radio and record industries. No. Hell, no. We may be dragged kicking and screaming into the norm some day in the future, but not, by God, this week.

With all the changes going down in our industries in the Year-Of-Our-Clinton 1994, some on the record side thought it might be time to push the envelope even further. Why not, they asked, have radio report playlist changes on another day? What day, I asked. Thursdays, they said. Why? Because if radio stations reported adds on Thursdays, we could leave early on Fridays and relax all weekend.

There were other considerations, of course. If radio added records on Thursdays, then record companies would have three solid days for set-up and pressurization. Now, record companies usually schedule set-up meetings on Wednesdays. Targets are set on the same day. Thursdays and Fridays are spent calling radio. But it’s sometimes hard to convey the urgency of an add that won’t happen until the following week. Programmers have an easy out on Thursdays and Fridays. The famous, “Looks good…call me next week” phrase has led more than one promotion person down the road to sin and destruction. Plus, even if you get a commitment, the programmer then has the weekend to think about it and possibly have a change of heart. Or worse, it gives a promotion person from another label two full days to fly the programmer to Hawaii and offer a better deal.

Thursday adds would work better for many record companies. But what about radio?

Ah. And therein lies another rub.

Several months ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek Editorial that questioned why radio began doing music on Tuesdays. I made up quite a compelling story that became gospel to may in the industry. The real story isn’t so black-and-white.

Radio began doing music on Tuesday years ago for one simple reason: It works best for radio. Radio generated requests beginning on Mondays. Radio needed weekend requests to make the tabulations accurate. Ditto for sales. Weekend sales information was crucial to determine the hottest records.

Times haven’t changed that much.

In the past several months, as different trade magazines have jockeyed for position with the diminishing influence of R&R, many have tried to dictate to radio. All have tried to mandate different policies under the guise of being “good for radio.” Fortunately for Network Forty, few of these trades bother to ask radio. We always attempt to reflect radio’s position. And we continue to do so.

After canvassing radio programmers from the smallest markets to the latest, the consensus is that Tuesday is still the best day for radio to prepare music.

Why?

The answers vary.

Comfort plays a big key. Programmers are comfortable the way it is. Radio programmers; weeks have been set up to do music on Tuesday for years.

Along with the comfort comes the simple fact that it ain’t broke, so why fix it?

Although SoundScan provides data on Wednesdays, most radio stations still receive their in-house research either on Mondays or Fridays. Either way, Mondays are generally spent reviewing the research. Final decisions are made on Tuesdays.

It’s important for radio to add new music on Tuesday or Wednesday. This gives programmers several weekdays to daypart songs if necessary or to determine the strength of new music via requests or on-air sound. The information will then be used to decide whether or not to schedule the songs over the weekend. This lead time is necessary.

Another important fact concerns music scheduling. There was a time when new records were just put in the control room and the jocks played them when they wanted. No longer. Each day of music is now carefully scheduled in advance. Music directors need time to input the new songs into their music scheduling software. They also need time to actually schedule the music. If music were done on Thursdays, music directors would have to schedule Friday’s music late Thursday night, then turn around and schedule three complete days (Saturday, Sunday, Monday) in one day…Friday, when everyone wants to get out early.

With changes prevalent in the industry today brought on by Plays Per Week, BDS, SoundScan and other retail research, programmers are constantly searching for the special edge that will make them winners in the their market. They have no time for unnecessary wallpaper touch-ups (such as changing music days) that have little to do with their daily operation.

As one major-market programmer said, “I’ll be happy to give the industry my adds and rotations on Thursdays. But I’ll continue to do them on Tuesdays just like always.”

Sometimes, trade magazines tend to run on their own, hidden agendas. We all need to remember that Tuesday is playlist day because it is best for radio. What works best for radio works best for Network Forty.

Besides, we have a hidden agenda. If add day was move to Thursday, we couldn’t take Friday off!

Showtime

5/13/1994

Somehow, it all made sense. The Las Vegas Strip…Siegfried And Roy…$4.95 steak and lobster buffet…Tony Orlando in concert…the Chicken Ranch…white tiers in a glass cage…the Hitmakers Convention. Las Vegas lost Wayne Newton, but it gained Barry Fiedel…if only for a weekend.

Actually, Las Vegas, with or without Barry or any convention, is a perfect place for the radio and record communities to gather. The hype is turned way up, millions are spent promoting meaningless images, sleaze is evident everywhere, billboards boast slogans, there are hundreds of great restaurants, thousands of games are available, American Express is honored everywhere and cash plays. But best of all, there a re lots of places to hide.

Any visit to Las Vegas starts with a plane trip. And the flights themselves tell all. On the way over, the plane is filled with excitement. Laughter is prevalent, people are quick to share their winning philosophy, the guy beside you willingly offers his “can’t miss” roulette system, the pleasing aroma of cologne and perfume fills the air, clothes are pressed, fresh and often brand new toasts are offered, conquests are promised and, more often than not, the passengers break into applause when the wheels touch down on the runway. The return flight is quite different. There is little talk…only grunts and grumbles. The atmosphere is more like a funeral. Most passengers are asleep or in states of depression. Drinks are gulped quickly. And the air is full of sweat and thick with the smell of defeat.

But in between those flights, the world is yours…and all that’s in it. If you consistently hit 14 and get a 7. Or roll 6 the hard way three times straight.

The actual Hitmakers convention was secondary to all of the other things going on in Las Vegas. And maybe that was the way it should be. It was a good place to be if you were a radio programmer from a smaller market. With at least a 15-to-1 ratio of record folds to those in radio, if you could actually add a record somewhere, the odds were good that you might be treated with some modicum of respect.

The panel exhibiting the most fireworks was the “Face To Face” gathering Saturday afternoon. Those in the audience got “up close and personal” with several programmers and a couple of members of the trade press. Many questions were asked (including at least two disjointed seemingly drug-induced ramblings) and none were adequately answered, although a consensus could have been mustered that more cash could stimulate more airplay.

The main point, if there was one, was that now more than ever before, each radio station in each market looks to individual statistics to determine whether or not to add a record. “Top 10” and “Most Added” seem to play a significantly smaller part than ever before when adding records. How a record fits the particular station’s format and how well the record is selling in the local market are the important criteria. The audience missed what I believe was a significant point. More and more radio programmers are using their own criteria and “gut” instincts in formulating their playlists. For years, those in the record community abhorred research and computer facts when used by radio station to make record decisions.

Now, with PPWs, BDS and SoundScan, the record community is using research and computer facts to convince radio programmers to add records. Those arguments are falling on deaf ears.

Record promoters cannot depend on generalized research to convince radio programmers to add their records. Specific knowledge of individual stations and markets are the keys…if indeed, there are any real keys.

On the flip side of the coin, radio programmers must view a single’s track record nationally. It stands to reason that if a record is selling and performing extremely well across the country, at least it bears consideration for play on your station. When I was programming, I always kept an eye on national charts, not to decide my playlist, but to make sure I wasn’t missing something viable. National airplay and sales are particularly important because your audience is exposed to product (through music videos, syndicated shows and other outlets) that wasn’t available in years past. Although you might make decisions on what is best for your radio station and your audience, don’t believe that you are their only source of service. Consider all factors when making a decision.

Random thoughts and observations: Daniel Glass was picked up at the airport by some long-haired guys in a Four-By-Four; Todd Cavanah needs to work on his golf swing, but he’s got the cursing part down pat; Burt Baumgartner is a class act; Ken Benson will laugh if the jokes are funny; Marc Benesch has perfected his “Houdini” routine; Bruce Tenenbaum is getting there; Barb Seltzer works the big rooms better than anyone and Dale Cannone works the alleys; Tony Novia could be one of the smartest people in radio; Mark Bolke wasn’t serious; Jerry Blair “you no plan;” Bob Greenberg had a birthday; Jeffrey Blalock stands tall, but Bruce Reiner slouches taller; Bill Pfordresher can’t throw dice (neither could anyone else); Dave Robbins has quietly turned WNCI around; Dave Ferguson is the best kept programming secret in the country; Chuck Field is second; Charlie Walk looks good in cowboy boots; Greg Thompson and Valerie DeLong work radio; Rick Stacy didn’t want to talk about trades; Joel didn’t either; Mark Gorlick and Bruce Schoen were separated at birth; Hilary needs a new last name; Michael Marti has a new hair stylist; Laure Holder is Seattle’s shining star; Louis Caplan knows exactly what he’s doing; Marc Rather bets the don’t pass line; Dave Shakes gave good advice to a questioner who didn’t listen; Ron Geslin can stay up past midnight; Justin Fontaine can also; Craig Coburn actually won money; David Leach hit ‘em long; Joe Riccitelli spent Friday night downtown; Steve Richards had a great “thinner” story; Billy Brill is a story himself and Hix still hits ‘em dead right under pressure.

Questions that weren’t asked: What did Barry do with his white shoes? Where was Bobby Poe?

Questions that weren’t answered: Are there any radio people at this table? Who’s picking up the tab? Is that guy eating the lobster with a station? Why are we here?

And the only question I care about: Was I funny or what?