Category: Commentaries

Country State Of Mind

12/9/1994

“I’m just laid up here in a Country state of mind.”

So, when did Country music get to be so popular? It’s a question I’ve been asked more than a couple of times in the past few years. I usually follow that question with a question of my own: Where the hell have you been?

Of course, because I grew up in Mississippi on a steady diet of Hank Williams (that’s Hank Sr. I could only listen to Bocefus when my daddy wasn’t in the house.), country music has always been my music of choice. The again, if you were growing up in Mississippi in the 1960s, you didn’t have a lot of choices. The Deep South has always raised an eyebrow (and an occasional axe handle) at anything that didn’t have a fiddle in the mix. So it wasn’t until I left and got educated that I became aware that there was indeed some other music out there.

As a young’un, I did get a peek or two at the Beatles and the Rolling Stones when they were on the Ed Sullivan Show. If I was real lucky and my daddy went to the bathroom after Topo Gigio or that Russian Circus old Ed was so fond of, I could almost witness the entire appearance before he told me to stop listening to that “crap.” To my everlasting credit, I finally did get my old man to admit that “Act Naturally” wasn’t a bad song, but only because I told him it was written by John D. Loudermilk who, in his opinion, was the “greatest damn writer of all time…next to Hank.” I never could get him to embrace the Stones, even towards the end when he was heavily medicated.

A lot of those who have jumped on the bandwagon recently say Country music finally grew up. With all due respect, maybe it’s the audiences who have grown up.

There are others who say that Country music is well on the way to becoming the Mainstream music of tomorrow. Don’t look now, but with over 5,000 radio stations playing Country music across the country, it’s getting pretty close to Mainstream right now.

Why?

A case could be made for the fact that many of us can’t dance to most of the other music. I just don’t do the “Drop” or the “Slide,” make signs with my hands or jump in a mosh pit. I ain’t no Fred Astaire, but I can two-step. Then again, who can’t? And Country bars are easier to hang in. Oh, a good fight will break out occasionally, but that’s usually what it is…a fight. Very seldom are knives or guns pulled. I mean, you might get your ass kicked, but you probably won’t get killed. I’m no genius. It’s obvious I don’t have the definitive answers. But a couple do stand out.

The music has gotten better. Don’t get me wrong. Country writers were penning standards long before Rock & Roll was named, and Chet Atkins was picking and doubling harmonies before 24-tracks were used. But with the technological boom came a bunch of talented producers who made it possible for Country production to compete with the best of them. In the good ole days, the good ole boys would get a few pickers, rent a studio and cut an album in 12 hours…and that included mixing. The only that that mattered was the song and the beat.

The song is still king in Country, but production and arranging have made the music more acceptable to the fringe consumers. It didn’t hurt when Mainstream began fragmenting into a thousand different definitions. There was a time when you could hear Elton John, Freddie Fender, Al Green and Jimi Hendrix back-to-back on a good Top 40 station. No more. Formats have become too restricted.

And that brings me to the second point: Country radio has gotten better. No format has improved in overall sound, marketing and promotion more than Country. Some of the best radio stations in the country are Country…if you get my drift.

Country programmers are spending more and more time making sure the production of the station is perfect. It’s still the sound that counts to the listeners and Country radio , in many cases, sound best.

Country music, by definition, is much broader than much of the music today. Radio stations and record companies are sometimes too quick to define a song. Not so the audience. They just know if they like it. Country radio allows more of the pieces of the pie onto the plate and it ultimately means more dessert for the listeners.

Country stations are like good Top 40s used to be. You can hear Vince Gill’s “When Love Finds You,” the Tractors’ “Baby Like To Rock It” and George Strait’s “The Big One” and you’ve got Mainstream, Rock & Roll and Country back-to-back. Throw in “Third Rock From The Sun” and you could make a case for psychedelic, but maybe that’s a stretch.

Country music does a great job of pushing the envelope. If someone did a focus group on Mars, most of the aliens would be hard-pressed to make a distinction between half of the songs on Country stations and those claiming to be Mainstream

Of course, there is a dark side to this otherwise bright cloud. The large gains made by Country stations are due in no small part to the success of many new artists. There is so much good music available that PDs are spending time and money determining which records are the best. And they should. However, the danger of over-researching, narrow-casting call-outs and restrictive playlists are real. One only needs to look at what happened to Mainstream Top 40 in the late 1980s to find the end result.

Programmers who have the tendency to put too much emphasis on in-house research can quickly find themselves in the outhouse. The true test of any record is the response of the listeners when they hear it on the radio. Research shows that listeners in all formats…but especially Country…do not tune out new music…even if they don’t like it. They want to hear the latest releases and decide for themselves. It’s only when you continue to play inferior songs does the audience take a hike. So our job as programmers is to expose the right product, test the response and act accordingly.

 

If we’re right…we prosper. If we’re wrong…nobody dies. In the words of Hank Jr., “If the sun don’t come up tomorrow, people I have had a good time. I’m just laid up here in a Country state of mind.”

Hot Air

12/9/1994

“Some guys have all the luck. Some guys get all the breaks.”

Ah, to be a radio programmer. Just think about it for a minute. A radio programmer has the best tickets to the best concerts. You want to make points with the bimbo and meet the band? No problem. Backstage passes?

Anything you want, babe.

What about dinner? Best restaurant in town? You want to bring the bimbo? And three of her friends? No problem Your parents might be there, too? Sure. Bring them along.

You need a promotion because you’re too lame to think one up for yourself? Or your station is too broke to pay for it? You want tickets to Hawaii for a couple of your winners? And you want to go along as their chaperone? And bring the bimbo? Of course. It’s done.

That prize fight in Las Vegas next weekend? You say the new bimbo is a fight fan? A boxer herself? Oh, a mud wrestler. Close enough. You want to get a suite, sit up front and pretend you’re important and rich?

You’re there, babe.

You’ve got to admit, the life of a radio programmer ain’t all bad. You get all the good things in life without having to pay for them, if you don’t count having to play a “strange” record on occasion. You can act like an ugly, insensitive know-it-all jerk. And people will pretend to like you.

Plus, you have the opportunity to win cash and fabulous prizes in the A.I.R. competition for doing what you’re paid to do already…listen to new music and figure out how well the songs will do. What a wonderful, wonderful life.

“Some guys do nothing but complain.”

And then there is the life of the record promotion person. A PD wants dinner? Trips? Promotions? The promo person must provide willingly and pretend to be happy about it.

The promo person must also spend “quality” time with the bimbo, although, in many cases, the bimbo is actually better company that the PD. And the promo person would rather talk with her. But that’s another Editorial.

So the promo person must slop through the sludge with the slugs. And ultimately pay for the A.I.R. competition that sends PDs cash and fabulous prizes.

And there’s nothing extra for the record promotion person, is there? No contest to enter. No games to play. No way to get cash and fabulous prizes. Every promotion person knows they would do better than every PD in any music competition. But there isn’t any.

Do-do-dee-do-da-do! (Think horns.)

To the rescue come your good friends at Network 40. Recognizing the terrible plight of those in the record business (and it’s easy for us to recognize those slights because as former PDs, we were the slighters not so long ago), Network 40 is proud to announce a contest with cash and fabulous prizes for record company promotion people only. We call it, “H.O.T.A.I.R.”

“Heavy On The Absolutely Incredible Bullshit!” (Okay, so we couldn’t come up with a suitable word that means the same thing and begins with an “R”…excuuuusssseeee me!)

After months of careful evaluation and exhausting research, we have come up with the ultimate contest…HOT AIR.

We call it HOT AIR because that’s exactly what it is…HOT AIR. (Actually, it’s really HOT AIB, but that doesn’t have the same ring.)

It costs nothing to enter. The only stipulation is that you have to be a promotion person, listen to the music and participate each week.

The rules are quite simple:

(1)  Each week, Network 40 will ask you to listen to five records and predict how well these records will do on Network 40’s PPW chart.

(2)  Points are awarded as follows:

10:  Predict the record won’t make the chart and it doesn’t. (Minus 10 if it does.)

25:  Predict the record makes it into the Top 40 and it does. (Minus 25 if it doesn’t.)

50:  Predict the record makes it into the Top 10 and it does. (Minus 50 if it doesn’t.”

100: Predict the record makes it to number one and it does. (Minus 100 if it doesn’t.)

Points are totaled sometime during the year and a winner is announced. You are also eligible for special “bonus” points as follows:

150:  Be the first person in your company to close out your region. (Minus 150 if you’re the last. Plus 300 if you’re the last and still hang on to your job!)

250:  Get one of your records added on a radio station without going through the independent. (This bonus is not applicable if you pay the indie anyhow.)

500:  Get any of your records added on a radio station without having to provide a promotion or a time buy. (This bonus is not applicable for any record already in the Top 10…unless, of course, it’s on WKRQ.)

750:  Get any of your records added on a radio station by talking only with the music director. (This bonus is not applicable at stations where the music director’s input is actually important…which means it’s pretty much applicable everywhere.)

1000: Get a record added at a station and have no one else call to take credit for it. (This bonus will be paid on the honor system…we’ll have to take your word for it and trust that you wouldn’t ever lie…so this will never be applicable.)

1500: Predict any record on Imago will make it into the Top 40 and it does. (If one of Imago’s records actually makes it into the Top 40, then to collect these points, you must pay Network 40 for the amount of advertising dollars we’ll lose for taking this shot!)

2000: Get one of your competitor’s records added instead of your own so you can get credit for the points. (This bonus will be tripled if you tell your boss that is the reason that you didn’t get an add that week.)

3000: Get the bimbo to talk the PD into adding one of your records. (This bonus is tripled if you bring this up in front of his wife!)

So, now you have the rules for Network 40’s exclusive HOT AIR contest. Remember, all decisions of the judges are final. The number of ads you purchase in Network 40 has no bearing on the outcome…as long as you don’t want to win!

Old School

12/2/1994

Old School.

It’s a term that’s being heard more and more often in our industry…and not with a glamorous connotation.

Old School, more often than not, is a description hung on anyone or anything that doesn’t seem to fit into today’s changing world. Old School. Old fashioned. Old way of doing things.

Almost overnight, a young, cutting-edge, Alternative brand of music began sweeping the nation. It caught most of us by surprise. And the musicians who were making this music were cut from a different cloth. Success, to most of them, was having a semi-regular gig at some place that allowed them to play whatever they wanted and act as outrageously as their lifestyles dictated. Small, independent record companies signed a lot of these bands and nurtured that style. Records, for the most part, sold to a small, fanatical core.

But something happened on the way to another “here to day, gone tomorrow” fad. A lot of the music began to be accepted into the Mainstream. And from an art form, a commercial success began to boom. Large record companies, recognizing a good thing…finally, began signing these bands and the music grew. Suddenly, Alternative wasn’t an alternative any more. Today, it is becoming the mainstay of Mainstream.

And the snake ate the baby.

Change is a fact of life. Positive change is a part of success. But changing for the wrong reasons…or just for the sake of change…is the key to disaster. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” is more than an old saying…it, too, is a fact of life. And a chief ingredient for continued success.

There are those in the record industry seeking change for the sake of change… particularly where promotion is concerned. And it’s a mistake.

Some have the opinion that to successfully promote Alternative radio stations or stations with an Alternative edge, a different approach must be used. The old ways don’t work. A kinder, gentler promotional approach supplied by a younger, hipper promotion person is needed. Since when did applying pressure to get a record played become unacceptable?

It is wrong to assume that promotion people must reflect the acts they are paid to promote. They should reflect the interests of the record companies they represent.

There are no “natural” promotion people. Admittedly, some are more adept than others, but promotion is certainly a “learned” occupation. And unlike professional athletes, who rely on skill and coordination that deteriorate rather quickly, promotion people get better with time.

It is a unique occupation. No other is so contingent upon relationships. The longer someone is in the business of promoting records, the more programmers he meets. And in promotion, the more you know…the more you know.

Of course, you must have talent. Just calling radio stations doesn’t qualify anyone as a good promotion person any more than having blue hair, a nipple ring and a laid back attitude qualifies one as perfect for the Alternative genre.

Record companies are influenced by music. Programmers are professionals who are paid to program radio stations. The music is often incidental. A record company that makes a decision on the wants and needs of a programmer based on the music he plays is in for a big surprise.

The Alternative programmers of today were the Top 40 and AOR programmers of yesterday. And they may be in a different format tomorrow. When GMs look for programmers, they aren’t impressed by the success in the music business…they weigh a candidate’s success in the radio business. When Trip Reeb searched for the perfect person to program KROQ, who did he choose? Kevin Weatherly, whose success was at Rhythm-formatted KKLQ. Was there a more Mainstream programmer than Steve Kingston before he switched Z100 to an Alternative lean? And where was Brian Philips before WNNX and Tom Poleman before KRBE? Or AOR standouts Scott Jameson at WRZX and Ron Nenni at KOME?

Good record promotion people know radio. They understand PDs because they’ve been dealing with them for years. In all of the different formats. Because of the music…and in many cases, in spite of the music.

Any good record company recognizes the importance of being artist-friendly and promotionally aggressive. Warner Bros. built its sizable reputation on this premise.

Because it’s an Alternative station, is the pressure any different? In most cases, because it’s an Alternative station, the pressure is greater because the budgets are smaller. Are all those Alternative stations adding records and not asking for promotions. And none of those stations are demanding acoustic Christmas concerts, are they? Promotion people don’t need to call on these stations because these programmers just sit around and listen to music all day. They don’t have to worry about running a radio station because it’s Alternative…it’s an art form.

So who do you want promoting Kevin Weatherly, Steve Kingston, Brian Philips, Tom Poleman and the rest of the Alternative programmers? The guy with blue hair and a pierced nipple who has little knowledge of radio and promotion, or the promotion people who have worked with them for years in other formats?

Or we could just jump on that buzzword of the ’90s bandwagon…marketing. I will be (and have been on these pages) the first to admit that the industry needs to explore alternative ways of getting records to its audience, but marketing as a stand-alone operation is a losing proposition. It’s healthy to expand marketing plans and to develop additional marketing ideas, but marketing without airplay doesn’t fly, Orville.

Suppose all radio stations stopped playing music and music videos were banned from TV. Where would that marketing plan kick in to pick up the slack.

Marketing can maximize a good promotional effort. But without promotion…without airplay…marketing doesn’t cut it. It’s funny that all those marketing discussions end late Tuesday afternoon when the only thing that matters is airplay. And who gets the airplay? Not that great marketing campaign or those point-of-purchase posters.

Promotion people get the airplay. And who gets the most airplay? The best promotion people. Those with relationships built over time.

Old School.

We should all enroll!

Of Fish And Trees

12/2/1994

“There are fifteen-hundred-and-thirty-two guitar pickers in Nashville.”

And only one chart. The R&R chart. Quickly becoming referred to in Nashville as “the x@#%-ing R&R chart.”

R&R is hopelessly out of touch with the industries it pretends to serve…radio and records. And the Country chart is a testament to exactly how far out of touch R&R pretends not to be.

To understand the deep resentment harbored for the R&R chart, one must first understand the R&R chart and the methodology behind it.

And therein lies the rub.

There is an ancient Japanese proverb that says in order to win in combat, you must first confuse your opponent. R&R must define its publishing venture as combat and R&R must believe that its opponents are those in the record and radio industries. If those in the radio and record industries are the opponents and confusion is the barometer, then R&R has accomplished its task.

Well, they aren’t and it ain’t. If you get my drift.

First, we must look at R&R’s methodology. And for the sake of time, let’s not get into how R&R chooses its panel of reporters. How a station gets to become an R&R reporter is one of those great mysteries of life. Why one station makes it and another doesn’t is impossible to comprehend. Why some rules are broken on some occasions, yet not on others, seems to be more contingent upon outside forces than on any standard or mathematical equation.

Go figure.

Then again, don’t bother. You can’t.

In a world of reality, where the entire industry is interested in “how many times did the record get played,” R&R has designed a system that is impossible to explain, comprehend or compute…unless you’re one of the guys in the computer room at R&R. But then, you look at the Country chart and you have to ask yourself, “What are these guys doing? Throwing darts?

To confuse its opponents (that’s people in the record and radio businesses), R&R designs a system that boggles the mind.

Total plays. Total spins. That’s what the industry wants.

But R&R doesn’t care about the needs of the industry, does it? If so, perhaps someone from R&R would have conferred with different people in the record and radio industries before coming up with a system that serves only R&R’s needs.

Oh, let’s give R&R a break. After debuting the new charts (and let’s not forget that R&R went kicking and screaming to a Plays Per Week system only after Network 40 and BDS reflected the industry standards for months), R&R changed them several times. Unfortunately for R&R the changes weren’t for the better…only done to pretend that R&R would occasionally listen.

Forget for the moment that R&R’s chart is based on inaccurate representation. We covered projecting Plays Per Week last week. And any final calculations of inaccurate numbers to begin with result in an inaccurate conclusion. Garbage in…R&R chart numbers out. Let’s focus on weighting.

R&R’s weighting system is so out of whack that it’s hard to discuss with any degree of accuracy. Stations are weighted by market size (in some cases) and audience reach determined by Arbitron, the least reliable audience-measuring system known to man. Is there anyone programming a Country radio station anywhere who believes Arbitron accurately reflects the station’s listeners? As programmers, we have to live with Arbitron’s figures because Arbitron is a sales tool Do we have to live with it in a publication that supposedly cares about radio’s realities also?

There’s nothing in the weighting system of R&R’s charts to reflect how a station impacts Country music sales. If you’re a Country PD and you play a record and it sells, doesn’t that count for something? Not with R&R. Country music sales have nothing to do with R&R’s Country charts.

And what, may I ask, is an “Add Factor?”

Don’t answer. No one knows. Not even the people at R&R. If anyone did, they would be able to offer a rational explanation as to how, a few weeks ago, the Rhett Akins song received seven adds, increased in plays by a total of 282, yet went #44 to #44 on the R&R chart with no bullet. Then, the next week, the song got two adds, lost six stations (probably because of the previous week’s chart), increased in plays by 37, yet moved from #44 to #39 with a bullet! And the same week, The Wiggens’ record, ranked #50 the week before, got 15 adds, no drops and fell off the chart!

What’s wrong with this picture? To quote an expression R&R is quite familiar with…the fish are in the trees.

Of course, it’s easy to criticize R&R when we don’t have a chart yet. We’re not worried. It will still be easy to critique them when our chart debuts. The biggest difference between R&R and Network 40 is that we talk with those in the radio and record industries before we debut a chart. We get the industry’s input and design a chart that meets the industry’s needs…not our own.

The Network 40 Country chart will be a reflection of the Country radio and record industries. The Network 40 Country chart will reflect total plays. The Network 40 country chart will be based on accurate Plays Per Week, not projections. The Network 40 Country chart will weight stations based on each station’s ability to impact Country music sales and the Country music audience. Country music is different. It cannot be judged by total sales or total audience.

How do we know this? Because we asked those of you in the Country music and radio industries. And we will continue to ask for your input. Why? Because, unlike those at R&R, we believe you know more than we do. R&R needs to face reality. The industry wants Plays Per Week, not projections. The industry wants a weighting system based on Country music and audience impact, not Add Factors and Points.

It ain’t brain surgery.

Although I did hear two doctors talking before a delicate cranial operation in which the life of the patient was in danger. One doctor patted the other on the back before they entered the operating room and said, “Relax, it’s not like we’re doing R&R’s charts.”

Thanksgiving Turkey

11/25/1994

It is Thanksgiving…time to give thanks…and I would like to do that…even if it is against my nature. Bah! Humbug! (Oops, that’s the Christmas Editorial!)

We want to give thanks to all of our new friends in Country radio who have welcomed Network 40 and made it possible for us to move to the next step. Also to our friends in the Country music industry, who are working with us to create a system of tracking Country music that is complete, fair and accurate. And, of course, to R&R for having a chart that is so totally screwed up. Without all of you, none of this would be possible.

Before BDS started monitoring airplay, Network 40 began experimenting with a concept called Plays Per Week. With the help of a small number of radio programmers, we began plotting a chart based on the actual number of times a song was played during the previous seven days. It was quite a daring concept. We asked that programmers supply us with their computer-generated airplay reports and we began compiling a chart based on this information.

Although every record company was demanding accurate information from radio and nearly every radio programmer paid lip service to honesty, in the beginning there were few who complied with our request and fewer still who believed the concept would work.

Slowly, but surely, our list of Plays Per Week reporters began to grow. More and more PDs were interested in having their lists reflect reality. Even as the record and radio industries cried out for a chart based on reality, R&R continued to print playlists that had little or no relation to actual plays. Why? Because it was in R&R’s best interest to continue with an antiquated system. The fact that this type of chart was not in the best interests of the radio and record industries as a whole meant little to R&R. R&R has never been in the business of listening to radio programmers or record executives. R&R has dictated policy to the industries and demanded compliance. If you didn’t like R&R’s rules, you couldn’t play.

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the playground. Radio programmers began to take a stance against the dictatorial principles demanded by R&R. And when BDS began monitoring the spins of records on radio stations, the circle became complete. R&R was forced, kicking and screaming, into the world of reality. Everyone wanted…everyone demanded…accurate descriptions of airplay. Network 40’s Plays Per Week and BDS-monitored airplay because the standards against which all others were judged.

Even though Network 40 was the first publication to print a chart based on Plays Per Week, we thought it was important that the industry adopt a standard that would be accepted throughout. We offered the use of our term, “Plays Per Week” to other publications. Instead of demanding compensation for our original idea and title, we gave it to any publication…free…for the good of the industry.

Other publications, including R&R, began using the description and it has become an industry standard. But unfortunately, R&R stopped short of the industry goal…that of total accuracy in reporting reality.

Instead of accepting faxed, computer print-outs of actual airplay, R&R demanded that stations report predicted plays. This battle was quickly lost in most formats.

Every programmer knows it is impossible to predict how many times a record will be played in coming weeks. The better question is: Why would a publication want to print inaccuracies? Why R&R continues to ask PDs to provide information that can be easily manipulated is beyond comprehension. PDs want reality. The record industry wants realty. The faxed, computer-generated Network 40 Plays Per Week chart is reality. BDS is reality. What is R&R?

Unreal.

On the opposite page, you’ll find a simple explanation of how to provide Plays Per Week to Network 40. It isn’t guesswork. It is a reflection of your previous week’s airplay. Just as Network 40 reflects the wants and needs of the industry in the rest of our publication, so will the chart.

In monitored markets, Network 40’s Plays Per Week chart can be compared with BDS to make sure all detections are picked up. As a PD, you won’t be getting calls from record companies asking why your predicted plays differed from the actual monitor. As a record executive, you can check the comparison to make certain all of your detections are counted.

In non-monitored markets, Network 40 acts as a monitoring system so everyone will know exactly how many times a song was played.

It is an honest, reliable system that both the radio and record industries embrace. Because it is honest and reliable. And easy for programmers.

You don’t have to guess. You don’t have to wonder whether or not breaking news stories, inclement weather conditions or other emergencies will make your predictions inaccurate. Or what about new releases you get on Tuesday or Wednesday that you want to begin playing immediately? Those songs weren’t included in your predictions. What happens then? There are so many reasons for not predicting Plays Per Week that is amazing R&R continues with the system. Made-up playlists, paper adds, imaginary airplay…there are not a part of today’s radio and record industries. Predicting Plays Per Week allows those who would manipulate charts a was to continue. It is time for the entire industry to reflect what is…not what might be…or could be…or probably won’t be. R&R has been forced to reflect actual PPWs in almost every other format except Country. Why not Country? Maybe it is because, until now, there has been no alternative.

Network 40 is the alternative. Our publication is designed to reflect the realities of our business. The entire magazine is devoted to sharing concepts and ideas to make your jobs easier. We want to make sure that those concepts and ideas are a direct reflection of your ideas.

Network 40 is dedicated to serving the radio and record industries…not dictating what is best for us. So during this holiday season, we would like to give thanks to all of you who are helping.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to carve the R&R…I mean turkey.

Stale Stories

11/25/1994

Our brilliant, newly promoted Editor-In-Chief Jeff Silberman came up with the concept of this week’s magazine…the leftover issue. It is an interesting concept, based on the American tradition of Thanksgiving leftovers and the Network 40 tradition of the necessity of publishing when Thursday is a holiday. In order for Network 40 to arrive on your desk more or less on the same day as usual, we have to go to press one day earlier. This means we have one less day to prepare the cutting-edge editorial content that you have grown to know and love.

So Jeff, (you remember, the newly promoted Editor-In-Chief) came up with this “left over” concept. To aid our writing (i.e. to make it easier), we would fill the magazine with leftovers. On the surface, it’s a great concept. You put into the magazine all of the things that were, for one reason or another, left out during the past year. There’s only one problem: I haven’t left anything out…or at least anything I could write about.

I could write about the VP of Promotion who had an interesting experience on a long road trip. This guy stayed at the most expensive hotel…as VPs always do. Most of the hotels have maids who turn down the beds at night and place mints on the pillows. Instead of mints, this particular hotel leaves a large chocolate candy with nuts. Upon returning to his room after a late night of drinking with the local program director, the VP fell immediately into bed and went to sleep. As the next day was Tuesday, he was up early making calls. He didn’t take a shower, just put on a robe and sat down at the table in the living room of the suite. When the maids came to make up the room, he was on the phone and just waved them inside. One of the maids went to the bed, turned back the covers and saw a huge, brown stain (with nuts) on the sheets and began gagging. Realizing what the maid thought, the VP tried to explain, but she threw up on his feet.

I could write about that…but it’s pretty gross.

Or I could write about the program director of a major market station who wanted to send off his departing morning man with a great going-away present. Instead of the same, lame parties and gifts, this PD came up with the idea of bring several sheep into the control room during the jock’s last few breaks. Unfortunately, the sheep were a bit agitated at seven o’clock in the morning and lost control in the lobby, urinating and defecating all over the new carpeting.

Unknown to the PD, the general manager picked up the new owner at the airport that morning. The GM spent the entire trip to the station explaining what a professional organization he ran. The new owner was a bit suspect of Top 40 radio and had his doubts about continuing the format. By the time they arrived at the building, however, the GM believed he had turned the owner around. That is, until they walked into the lobby.

I can’t write about that because it is a sad story. The GM fired the PD. The owner fired the GM. And the sheep went back to the zoo.

Then there is the story of the new act, signed to a large label, who went on a promotional tour. A major station had added the record out-of-the-box and the label wanted to show appreciate by having the group play at a station event in a local nightclub. The place was packed and everyone was drinking heavily, including the members of the band. After the set, the singer and lead guitarist grabbed two “willing” ladies and went backstage. It turns out the ladies weren’t as “willing” as the band members thought and it got ugly in the dressing room. Some clothes were ripped and threats were made, but the manager stepped in and averted something more serious. The PD and MD were surprised when they went into the dressing room and found their respective wife and fiancée upset and crying because the two had been “attacked” by band members. The VP Promotion was not, however, surprised when the record was dropped from the playlist. The promotion tour, and the act, were cancelled.

Of course, I couldn’t write about that. Any more than I could write about the program director who invited his independent record promoter to visit the market and meet his new wife. Of course, the indie flew in and was quite surprised to be introduced to a beautiful young lady. Surprised, because the PD was much older than his new bride. And much uglier. The PD went to great lengths to express his love for his wife. He told the indie how he was hopelessly in love, how the new “Mrs.” Had changed his life and how they would live happily ever after. The indie was elated to see the PD happy. He was less elated, however, at dinner when the bride, while the PD wasn’t looking, ran her hand up his leg.

It got worse when the PD went to the bathroom. His bride leaned over and whispered in the indie’s ear, “Tonight, after my husband goes to sleep, I’m coming to your room to make mad, passionate love to you.”

The PD returns and begins the drive to his home. The indie insists on staying at a nearby hotel. The PD will hear nothing of it. He wants the indie to spend the night so he can find out how well his new wife makes breakfast.

The indie is shown upstairs to his room and is doomed when he sees there is no lock on the door. Long minutes turn into an hour and the house is quiet. The he hears footsteps creaking on the stairs.

The door opens and the PD’s wife enters. Even in the moonlight, he can see she’s wearing nothing but a robe. And she wasn’t wearing that very long. Now naked, she throws herself on the bed. The indie tries to fight her off, to reason with her, but she’s having none of it. She’s young, beautiful and naked. But she’s also the PD’s wife. If the PD finds out, the indie is done.

Then, the worst happens. The PD enters the room and finds his new wife and the indie naked in bed together. He screams and cries and runs down the stairs. The indie follows, trying to explain. In the living room, the PD breaks into laughter. He explains that the young lady isn’t his wife, only someone he hired for the evening to play a joke on the indie.

It worked. We assume the indie got paid.

Those are all stories I could have written, as leftovers, but of course, I can’t. So I guess I’ll just leave this column blank.

Kill The Beast

11/4/1994

In the past two years, we have seen sweeping changes in our business. Think back to 1993. Had anyone predicted that R&R would no longer matter to most, that Plays Per Week and BDS would be the standard by which radio airplay would be judged, that Soundscan would reign supreme in rating record sales, that Mo Ostin and Lenny Waronker would be leaving Warner Bros., that Bob Krasnow would leave Elektra, that Elektra and EastWest would combine into one label…that person would have been labeled a fool and a forceful intervention would have deposited the culprit into a hole for the critically insane.

Yet it has all happened…and more.

For years, the record business (critical of the stranglehold R&R maintained, yet greatly responsible for its continuation), espoused an honest, accurate gauge of radio airplay. Many supported Network 40’s early stance on Plays Per Week. And reality finally came crashing down with the penetration of BDS.

The beast built on paper adds and manipulated airplay was run over by the bulldozer of reality and lay in the tractor tracks of the wake, its body broken, its eyes red and its mouth agape, gasping for a final few breaths.

Most major record companies shouted with glee and the countryside was filled with joyous festivities. Hands were clasped, backs were patted and feasts were planned. The beast had been conquered and all was well with the world.

Many went to visit the place where the beast had fallen. At first, few came near. Although broken and dying, the brutality of the past kept most at a safe distance from the dangerous tail and the one-venomous bite. But as time passed, the timid became breave. First throwing rocks from afar, then moving closer with long sticks and finally standing adjacent, the crowds abused the former bully, stabbing it with their steely knives…but they just couldn’t kill the beast.

Truth be known, no one really wanted to be totally responsible for the beast’s death…though many took credit for its demise. And after a while, the throngs drifted away until only a few were left to watch the beast die of starvation. News of the beast’s condition, once related by many, was reported indifferently, when it was reported at all. The business continued on its way, thriving on the new, honest high road.

And then a funny thing happened. Some, who were the most critical of the beast during its reign of terror and were the first to cheer when it was broken, began to bring it food. Under the cover of darkness, the beast was again fed the nourishment it needed to survive…paper adds and manipulated airplay.

The beast will never again reign supreme. The beast is broken and beaten and will never rise, but it is surviving because of the few who continue to support deception and dishonesty for their short-term gains.

Network 40 supplies the industry with the most accurate compilation of radio airplay. We do this with the help of our network of reporting stations…stations that are, for the most part, honest and filled with integrity. Network 40 generates our chart based on actual airplay from computer generated airplay reports from our network of stations, which is, by the way, the most comprehensive listing in the industry today.

In the past few weeks, we have noticed a disturbing tendency on the part of a very small minority of radio stations. The airplay reports some stations supply Network 40 do not match those phoned in to R&R. Some stations that are not playing certain records are reporting to R&R that these records are being played. When contacted about these actions, the programmers involved admitted submitting inaccurate information to R&R due to “outside pressures.”

So, if Network 40 has the most accurate and most comprehensive compilation (try and say that fast five times in a row) of airplay available, why do we care? Is it that we want to bash the beast yet again? Although the temptation remains, the simple truth is that we’ve been there…done that.

We at Network 40 are proud of the fact that we were there in the beginning. Wee were first in debuting a chart based on actual airplay. We applauded, lauded and were a pare of the industry’s change from paper adds and manipulation to accuracy. And we want it to continue.

Why some proclaim honesty and integrity in public, then play games and manipulate charts they helped make obsolete, is a mystery.

The point is simple: Radio stations shouldn’t be rewarded for records added that aren’t played. Many radio stations in smaller markets are in a tough position. These stations depend on “promotional support” supplied by independent record promoters and record companies. The temptation is powerful to “add” a marginal record for some kind of compensation, yet, not play it because you aren’t sure whether or not your audience will like it.

No independent record promoter contacted by Network 40 advocates paper adds. No record company wants a paper add. Record companies want radio programmers to believe in their records…if not, then don’t play them.

What is the answer? Simple, if you are a programmer, don’t add a record to your playlist if you aren’t playing it. If you are a record executive, don’t compensate for supposed radio airplay.

The only way a record company can be sure a record is being played is by checking BDS or Network 40’s Plays Per Week Chart. Network 40 accepts faxed computer-generated airplay reports. We don’t use playlists or telephone reports as a part of our normal data base. A record company that does not use Network 40 or BDS as the bass for determining actual airplay runs the risk of false chart manipulation and perpetrates a system all agree was detrimental to our entire business.

At Network 40, we constantly monitor our reporting stations to ensure that the information supplied is accurate. Stations that submit inaccurate or deliberately misleading information are dropped from our list of reporters. But we can’t drop a station that reports accurately to Network 40 and inaccurately to R&R.

To the very small minority of radio programmers who report inaccurate information, we say, “Resist the temptation and deliver us from the evil of paper adds.”

Tales From The Shift

10/28/1994 (Halloween)

“I was working in the lab, late one night…”

Johnny “Prince Of” Darkness potted down the rest of the song and grabbed the request line. “Hello. K-Drac.”

“Hi there,” a low, female voice purred. “Is this Johnny Darkness?”

“You’re talking to the Prince,” the deejay said as he reached for a CD. “How can I help you?”

“It’s not you who can help me, you poor, doomed soul. I’ll be helping you before the clock strikes midnight.”

Johnny punched another blinking line. “Hello. K-Drac. May I help you?”

“Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

Johnny frowned and quickly hit another line. It was the same voice…but it couldn’t be…he had just hung up on her.

“K-Drac.”

“It’s no use…you can run, but you can’t hide.”

“Jesus,” he said, “you sound just like…”

“It is me, my dear, sweet, innocent fool.”

Johnny slammed the phone down and checked the clock. Ten-fifty-five. Halloween, Part 3 had just ended at the local theater. The whacked-out calls always began when the movie was over. He leaned back in his chair and stretched. Only an hour left on his shift and he would become one of the ghouls himself, emceeing a costume contest at a local night club.

As the second-hand crossed the top of the hour, Johnny hit the station ID.

“This is Kay Dracula…KDRC, Muldavia, Indiana.”

When “Thriller” kicked in, he turned down the volume and reached for his tenth cup of coffee. He had been drinking since his shift began at seven, but it was all he could do to stay awake.

He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, the thoughts of the strange female on the consecutive phone calls nagging in the back of his brain. It should have been a warning signal. The last deejay that held the 7-midnight shift had disappeared the previous year…on Halloween night…but Johnny didn’t give it any thought when he got the gig. Night deejays were always disappearing, then popping up at another station somewhere else.

It took KDRC a long time to fill the slot. Word had it that the station was haunted…the man Johnny replaced wasn’t the first who had disappeared mysteriously. But Johnny didn’t care. He needed the money. Besides, he didn’t believe in ghosts.

When he opened his eyes, he instantly knew something was wrong. The entire room was dark. No illumination came from the ceiling or even the board. He sat up quickly. The air was chilly. He could feel a cold mist against his face.

“What’s going on?”

A voice behind him ran a chill up his spine. “I said you could run, but you couldn’t hide.”

Johnny wheeled around in his chair. Standing next to the door, her face lit by the single candle she held, was a beautiful woman. She seemed to be floating in mid-air, a flowing, white robe fell from her shoulders to the floor.

He started to rise, but she held up her hand. “Please don’t get up.”

He had no choice. From out of the darkness, strong, claw-like fingers clamped down on his wrists, mashing them against the chair. He jerked his head around, but could see nothing. Were others holding him or just unattached hands?

His breath caught in his throat. A steel vice crushed his chest. He fought to swallow. “Wha…what do you want?” he stammered.

She smiled. Radiant. A face like an angel’s. With a sultry, but chilling voice she said, “You, my dear boy.”

She stepped closer. The candle hung behind her, suspended in mid-air.

More claws grabbed his ankles and knees, spreading them apart.

She stepped closer between his legs, then reached out and caressed his hair. Smiling, she rubbed the back of her fingers against his cheek. “You’re such a handsome young man. Much prettier than the last one…and the one before that.”

Johnny’s heart beat in his ears. He was hypnotized by her beauty and her eyes. She stared right through him into his soul. She dropped down and placed her palms gently on his thights. She lay her head against his chest. He felt her body through the thin, sheer robe.

His mind raced, trying to find a solution to the puzzle he was a piece of. It was a nightmare, but he was wide awake.

“Relax,” she cooed as she stood up. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Her shoulders shrugged and the robe dropped away. She was wearing nothing underneath. She sat on his lap, her lips brushed against his ear. “Trick or treat,” she whispered.

He closed his eyes again, swept away by uncontrollable emotions and the erotic sensation of her tongue swishing against the side of his neck. He felt himself spinning into a deep, bottomless void.

“Hey, idiot.”

Johnny snapped awake. Chuck Henry, the all night deejay, was standing over him, a wicked smile on his face.

“I thought you were doing some special Halloween programming by playing “Thriller” over-and-over for an hour, but I guess you just fell asleep.”

Johnny rubbed his eyes and stared at the clock. It was midnight.

“It worked, though,” Chuck rattled on, “the phones are ringing off the hook.”

Johnny got out of his chair without a word and staggered down the hall to the bathroom. He turned on the cold water and splashed it against his face. After a few seconds, the fear that churned his stomach was barely a memory. He checked out his reflection and managed a crooked grin. “None the worse for the wear.”

He never noticed the two, tiny puncture wounds on his neck.

“Yo, Darkness!” Check’s voice stopped him as he was walking out the door. “You’ve got a caller on line one. She sounds hot.”

He hesitated only a moment before picking up the phone. The dream was almost forgotten. But the familiar voice brought it crashing back with a vengeance, freezing him with fear, yet exciting him at the same time.

“Happy Halloween.”

Can You Relate?

10/21/1994

Last week’s Editorial dealt with relatability…specifically how to get your air talent to to relate to their audience in a positive way. All of us want our talent to be perfect. All of us want to spend the time needed to make the talent perfect. And all of us think we have the ability to communicate with our talent in a positive way.

But do we?

Lorna Ozmon heads Ozmon Media, the industry’s premiere talent development firm. She has developed coaching techniques based on the theatre arts and psychology disciplines. Her clients include program directors, morning show producers and air personalites.

I received a newsletter that outlines her objectives in coaching air personality development. She’s given me permission to share those ideas.

“Effectively managing creative people differes greatly from managing people in task-oriented jobs. A person who is hired to do physical labor or perform clerical services needs only to understand the specific tasks he or she is paid to perform and do them well. Creative people, such as actors, musicians and radio personalities must put part of themselves at risk personalities must put part of themselves at risk in order to succeed. Successful creative people use personal experience and perspective as stimulus for their creative process. This blending of the person into the professional makes directing the effective on-air performance of radio personalities a complex process which should not include antiquated industrial management techniques. Here are seven ways to help you more effectively coach air personality performance and development:

1)     For every “don’t,” have a “do.” Many radio personalities are managed exclusively by a daily dose of don’ts. Don’t talk so long. You don’t edit well. Don’t dominate conversations with callers. Don’t! Don’t! Don’! While creative people need to know the boundaries, they also need direction as to what to do within those boundaries. Every time you tell an air personality what not to do, always give them an alternative as to how it might be done in the future.

2)     Separate the person from the performance. Avoid attacking the motives you perceive the talent had for doing something you did not like. Focus only on the behavior you wish to change. If you want an air personality to edit better, talk only about the process of editing. Steer clear of language and issues which will be interpreted as a personal attack by the personality.

3)     Don’t take things personally. All radio personalities do what they do on the air because they think it is the right thing to do. Radio personalities do not spend time plotting to do things on the radio just to annoy you. When approaching a problem with an air personality, ask questions before you make accusations. For example, “I heard you put a caller on the air this afternoon and since we don’t put callers on the air in this format, I’m curious as to why it happened.” By opening the conversation with a question, you allow the jock to plead his case before he is judged. In the end, you may find that his reason for doing the unexpected on the air makes sense and paves the way for positive change.

4)     Focus on the future, not the past. Most radio personalities are fully aware of what did not go well on their show on any given day. So, it is counter-productive to pour salt into the wound by spending excessive time talking about what went wrong. Make the corrective part of your critique sessions the first and shortest part of each meeting. Once you have made a corrective point and receive confirmation from the personality that he understands and accepts your position, move on. Do not over-explain or belabor corrective issues. Spend the last and the majority of each meeting discussing areas of professional growth and brainstorming for future shows and promotions. Your primary goal for each critique session should be to motivate and inspire future performance. Yesterday’s show is history!

5)     Be assertive, not aggressive. The difference between an assertive and an aggressive statement are two words, “you idiot,” that can be added to the end of an aggressive statement. Aggressive statements lead to unnecessary conflict. “Why did you go on for over five minutes this morning at 7:20 (you idiot)” is an aggressive statement. “Were you aware that the 7:20 break was excessively long this morning?” is an assertive statement. A little thought about how you say something to an air personality can make a difference between just getting it said and getting it to happen on the air.

6)     Don’t lie. When confronted with questions you are not able to answer for whatever reason, don’t lie. If you cannot tell an air personality the whole truth, explain that you can’t. Don’t fabricate a story. This most-often asked questions managers don’t want to answer are about future employment and contract renewals. It is better to tell a personality that you cannot make any guarantees at this moment than to say, “everything will be fine.” Once an air personality discovered you lied, you lose the trust that is critical to keeping air talent open to your input.

7)     Encourage questions. Give your air personalities license to question anything and everything! Empower them to scrutinize everything that happens at the radio station. Reward them when they discover an error or oversight in your memos and other communications. When you discourage air personalities to challenge or question your directives, you instill a sense of responsibility for the station’s overall success and prevent the myopic “my show” mentality on your air staff. You also build in safety nets to catch the occasional human error before it can do any serious damage.

Effective talent managers have the qualities of good parents. They set their own egos aside and openly approach each problem or challenge that faces their professional families. Air personalities respond best to and respect managers who are fair, honest and consistent. In the final analysis, the most effective way to tap the maximum creative potential of a radio station’s air personalities is by improving the quality of the creative support environment. When your air personalities trust you and feel safe exposing parts of who they are to you every day, you have succeeded in constructing a healthy support environment. Only then can you truly begin the process of effectively coaching maximum air personality performance.”

I’m Back

10/18/1994

I was born in Mississippi, in a little shack way out by the woods…everybody used to call me Patches…

Okay, so the “Patches” reference may be carrying it a bit too far. The fact is, I was born in Mississippi and raised on Country music. Unlike my contemporaries in the publishing field, my roots run deep. It’s harder to get any more Country than Columbia, Mississippi, a tiny town (population 5,000) in the southwestern part of the state. It wasn’t until I visited the big metropolis of Jackson that I realized I was a redneck. It didn’t take long after that realization to be proud of my neck.

My earliest dream was to be a Country music singing star. Unfortunately, unlike Rock & Roll, it is almost mandatory that to become a Country music singing star, one must be able to sing. Being a true redneck, I didn’t let this “small” default slow me down. Besides, I was surrounded by the best in my quest. At one of my first studio sessions (at Malaco Recordings in Jackson), the arranger and drummer was another young “comer” named James Stroud. Fortunately for James, he produced and played better than I sang. I kept saying it was the microphone. James made me believe the cotton he was jamming in his ears was because of an infection.

After listening to the final product, I, as a true redneck, blamed the outcome on the studio and material. So I tried Muscle Shoals. My fellow Mississippian, Mac McAnally, wrote the song and with Mac on guitar, I recorded an aptly named tune, “Another Dry Run.”

It was.

With all my money gone, I returned to radio and plotted and waited. I saved my money and went to Nashville. Reality sometimes gets through, even to a redneck. So maybe I couldn’t sing, but I could damn well produce. I had a couple of acts (who “acted” like they could sing) and I acted like I could produce. With all due respect to David Allan Coe, I even wrote the perfect Country song entitled, “The Number One Song In The Country.” I figured if I could get just one station to play it, at least a few people would know I had written the number one song in the country. You get the picture?

Nobody else did.

I returned to my home state to become Chief of Staff for the Governor. While in this position, I spearheaded the establishment of the Mississippi Music Hall of Fame. The first inductee? Charlie Pride. I then ran for Congress. Some of Nashville’s most prominent music executives were kind enough to contribute to my effort, though I suspect most, like Bruce Hinton, did so more to keep me from returning to radio than to send me to Washington. The run for Congress was more like a walk. Although my campaign manager (Harry Nelson, now PD of WBCS Boston) and I toyed with the idea of hitching two mules up to a wagon and barnstorming the district, the idea was nixed by my daddy who said he had a reputation to maintain. (Editor’s note: Harry kept one of the mules and lives with it to this day!) Rusty Walker claims he voted for me, but after analyzing the tabulations, we could account for every vote within my immediate family…except one. I’m convinced my brother turned on me at the last second. I think it was the mules that got him.

So I returned to radio…programming KFRC San Francisco for five years…much to the dismay of Jack Lameier. Jack was the guy who had to scramble for concert tickets for me every time Willie Nelson played anywhere near northern California.

I said all that to say this: I’m back. First I tried singing Country music. Second, I tried producing Country music. Now, I’ll write about Country music…and I promise you, the third time will be the charm.

The Country Section in Network 40 is a personal dream come true for me. It is the culmination of much hard work and research by the entire staff of the magazine. With the publishing of the Country Section comes a commitment from Network 40…a commitment to produce a weekly publication that serves the Country radio and record industries.

Barry Freeman, VP/Country Editor, will be opening our Nashville offices in December. In the coming weeks, we will be announcing additions to our Country staff to make Network 40’s Country Section the very best in the business.

How do we indend on achieving our goal? By reflecting the interests and needs of Country radio and Country record companies. Unlike R&R, Network 40 wants to know what you want. We won’t tell you what’s best for us. Our intent is to make your jobs easier…not dictate policy that undermines your ability to maximize your efforts. Network 40 is successful because we work with the record and radio industries.

I don’t have the room and you don’t have the time to point out all the problems with R&R’s Country Section. (I used the word “section” liberally.) One of the most glaring errors is evident in R&R’s chart weighting. Forget, if you can, all the other problems R&R has, (you won’t have to forget very long…we’ll remind you) the chart is ridiculous. Country music needs a chart based on criteria determined by Country radio popularity and Country music sales…not a weighting system used by all other formats. Country music is unique. The charts should reflect that.

Network 40 commissioned two research projects to identify Country music influence and sales. Instead of using Arbitron’s ADE (Area of Dominant Influence), Network 40 will use our own ACE (Area of Country Dominance). A market will be weighted by how it generates Country music listeners and Country music sales, not by total population and total record sales.

Many have shared their thoughts with us over the past few months. Your continued insights are what will make the Network 40 Country Section a true reflection of the realities within Country radio and music. We are working with Country programmers and music executives to insure an accurate, representative chart. And unlike R&R, we won’t print it until we get it right.

I want to thank each of you who are working with us to create the “perfect” Country Section. And I want to personally thank Rusty Walker for kicking my butt to get it done quicker.

Network 40 is proud to be a partner with the format of today and tomorrow. And we’re proud to move into our house in Music City, U.S.A.