Category: Commentaries

Call Home

2/10/1995

Call-out research…not this week…not unless I get a big promotion with it…I’ll add it at number one!

What phrase doesn’t fit?

That’s easy. “I’ll add it at number one.” All the other phrases strike fear into the hearts of record promotion people the world over.

Call-out research is on the lips of a lot of people in our business this week. In a previous Country Commentary, I outlined Network 40’s plans to publish a weekly chart of the nation’s most popular call-out records. After reading the commentary, many of you (in both the radio and record industries) called with your thoughts about such a list.

Programmers and music directors were generally positive. Most of those in radio know the value of research and look forward to a chart that would accurately reflect the top call-out records in the nation.

There were some concerns. Many of you wanted to know how a national call-out chart could accurately reflect your market. There’s a simple answer to that: It can’t. However, since Country radio is not as formatically splintered as Top 40, a national call-out chart can give you a very good barometer of how certain songs are testing across the country. It should be used in conjunction with your own local call-out research to define more accurately the tastes of your particular audience. It can also be used as a verification of your own guy instincts and ears in determining what records to play and how long you should play them.

Network 40 is the first publication to gather and publish call-out information for our readers. It’s interesting to note that after Network 40 announced this feature, R&R began soliciting support for a call-out venture covering the Top 40 format. Another person (who might be suspicious of R&R’s intent and who might be prone to attack R&R’s research, data and ultimate purpose) would probably write a scathing Editorial in response to such an obvious ploy, but certainly not us. We would never stoop to such a thing. It is a much higher plane we seek. (Besides, we’ve been there and done that!)

We are publishing a call-out chart because we believe it will assist our readers… particularly those in radio…in doing a better job. As stated here previously, the Network 40 call-out chart can be used as a tool by those who can’t afford call-out research of their own and as a comparison by those who do their own call-out.

However, as I also stated, too much reliance on research, specifically call-out research, is one of the main reasons the Top 40 format has suffered from a declining and fragmenting audience. Country radio needs to be careful to avoid the same ultimate fate.

Call-out research is best used as one of many tools in determining what is best for your radio station. Call-out research is best at telling a programmer when a record is burning out. Call-out research can help a PD get an additional read on a record when sales and requests are initially weak or have begun to diminish.

Call-out research cannot predict a hit record. If it could, record companies would never release records that test poorly. Call-out research is best at determining the feelings of the audience once they are familiar with a record. By the very nature of the research, new records are unfamiliar and test that way. This does not mean those records will not ultimately be hits.

Call-out research (or, for that matter, any other kind of research) should never take the place of a programmer’s gut instincts or ears in deciding what records to add to a station’s playlist. Any PD who depends on research for all music decisions or computers for all programming decisions should be working for IBM.

The radio business is about talent; a PD either has it or not. Research can make a programmer better, but it can’t be used to make the ultimate programming decisions. A computer print-out can tell you if it looks right. Only a talented programmer’s ears can tell if it sounds right.

Network 40’s Country section is dedicated to providing different elements that will help programmers make key decisions. Network 40’s Country section is also dedicated to exposing and researching new artists and new music. The future of Country music and the Country format lies in breaking new acts and sounds. A fine line must be drawn between too safe and too unfamiliar. Swaying too far toward either side spells disaster…be it a slow, lingering death or immediate doom.

Network 40’s Country section will devote an entire page to new artists and new music. We will also devote an entire page to Hot Country reaction records picked by PDs across the nation. Network 40’s Country section will feature the most requested songs from our reporting stations. Network 40’s exclusive PPW chart will list the most popular songs in the nation. Network 40’s Country section will also feature a Call-Out Chart. It is just one of many features designed to give programmers  an overall picture of what music is best for their individual stations.

Network 40’s Country Call-Out Chart will also be heavily recurrent-based. We believe our own research. Our Call-Out Chart will focus on the hottest recurrents…the chart will not attempt to predict the future popularity of records. Our other features will help do that.

To our radio reporters, we ask that you use the Call-Out Chart as one of many tools. It is not designed to help you pick records that are right for your radio stations. It is designed to help you identify the best testing, most familiar records.

To those in the record business, we ask that you embrace call-out research as a necessary tool for overall successful programming. Not for predictions.

To those in both radio and records, we say, “Try us. You’ll like us.”

The Beautiful People

2/3/1995

Hold everything.

“You couldn’t get a limo? Only a town car?”

I sighed heavily. In Tinsel Town, where style is all that matters, I was caught in a major dilemma. We had good tickets to the American Music Awards, but Burt called too late to get a limo.

This was a tough call.

“They said they could go to an outside vendor for a limo or send a town car.”

I frowned. It was imperative that the driver be familiar with the ugliness that would take over the AMA parking lot when the show ended. An outsider could be mobbed, or worse, put in the back of the line which would stick you at the Shrine for hours. I was only going with Burt because I couldn’t arrive with my “real” date. She was appearing on the show and I couldn’t meet up with her until later.

“Okay,” I made my decision. “Let’s take the town car, but for God’s sake, can we get there early so no one sees us?”

That was what led us to be outside the Shrine Auditorium an hour-and-a-half before showtime, nodding and saying hello to all of the beautiful people. (It was another unforgivable L.A. faux pas. In this town, you’re never early.) And they were there in force. Also many of those featured on “The Lifestyles of the Not So Rich And Famous.”

Anyhow, I digress. I’m standing outside with my good friend, who has just moved here from New York, and I must listen to what all the people who just moved to California from New York say. It’s all about the weather and how wonderful it is and about the stars they see and about how nice everyone is. Give Burt a couple of months and he’ll get over it. It’s another perfect day, just like all the rest. California does rock…and not just from the earthquakes. That’s why God makes the ground shake and gives us floods, mud slides, fires, killer bees and civil unrest. If it weren’t for those minor inconveniences, everyone would be moving here.

Being unfashionably early turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We got to see almost everybody who was anybody. By the time the show started, we had no reason to go inside, except to witness Dick Clark hyperventilating about time and space.

Anyhow, a few of the awards you didn’t see on the broadcast went to Epic’s Neda Tobin for “Most Outstanding Dress,” Tony Novia for “The Person Most Proud of His Wife,” (Maty made the cover of a ladies’ magazine. I told Tony we would be proud to have her on the cover of Network 40, but I’m sure he was afraid Erica would flip out in a jealous rage. I countered by offering Erica a cover, but Tony refused to discuss it.) When will ABC wise up and team Tony with his wife? He would be better than the slug who is with her and a lot more effective than in the job he’s got. One of the largest rumors is that Novia is only an inch away from a programming job here in L.A. and no, I didn’t start that one.

Once inside, the sun was gone, but the lights were brighter. Virgin’s Phil Quartararo was showing off his chest hair in a new “cutaway” tuxedo. Warner Bros. veteran Dino Barbis was busy bragging about his parking spot. And everyone’s favorite, Eddie Money, left his tickets in his car.

The actual broadcast went about as expected. Country music played a bigger part than ever. Besides Michael Bolton, who always says the right thing, only the Country artists thanked radio for their awards.

The classiest woman in the building was Elektra Entertainment’s Sylvia Rhone. Anita Baker won an award and thanked many. What the industry knows is that Anita could have shortened that speech and mentioned only Sylvia. Her commitment to Anita’s last record was the reason for the award. 550’s Polly Anthony could have tied Sylvia, but she had Keith Naftaly on her arm. Baumgartner’s partner also precluded his inclusion. It made me wonder, between Keith and me, how many Sony acts did we break out of San Francisco? Evidently many, because we were still front and center. It also made me wonder if the number of favors I had done for Burt were about even. Hmmm. He hadn’t offered me any Grammy tickets. Maybe I should remind him about “Jenny Jenny.” On second thought, that’s how I wound up at the AMAs.

The classiest male performance was put in by MCA’s Richard Palmese. He and his lovely wife graced the front rows with quiet dignity. Have any two people other than Al Teller and Richard done more for a  record company with less chest-beating and fanfare?

As the show drew to a close, I moved to the front to be with my “real” date. I had decided it would be best if I didn’t actually accompany Madonna to the AMAs as it would cause too much of a commotion. Making eye contact, she made it clear that I shouldn’t approach her yet. There would be the party afterwards when we could spend some time alone. I gave her my special smile. She pretended she didn’t know me.

Columbia’s Jerry Blair orchestrated a wonderful dinner that brought out the best and worst of Hollywood: Dana Keil turning down Kevin Costner’s advances, Charlie Minor telling Burt “the new Dionne Farris record is so good, even I couldn’t screw it up,” KPWR’s APD/MD Bruce St. James loaning Wild 107’s Michael Martin his cellular phone and Bolton and Louis Levin hounding me for a deck of cards. Sharon Stone was there and was only the sixth most beautiful woman in the room. Number one on my list was Deborah Castillo.

One of the most beautiful was a pretty, young thing who was being accosted by two older “producers.” While in the bathroom, I overheard the two “dirty old men” discussing their plans for the young lady, who had just arrived from Wichita.

Upon returning to the bar, I eased next to the damsel in distress and shared with her what I heard. Instead of being shocked, she smiled and ran my hand under her dress where I felt a decidedly unladylike bulge. Leaning forward, she whispered, “Honey, they aren’t producers and I’m no Dorothy from Kansas. I guess they’ll find that out when they travel the Yellow Brick Road I just took you up, but by then, I’ll have had dinner and drinks.”

I sat back contentedly. In Hollywood, there’s always a good ending. Besides, with the revelation, Sharon Stone moved back into the top five.

I went off to find Madonna.

Tractor Pull

2/17/1995

My daddy said, “Son, put your guitar down. We’ve got to build some fence, got to plow some ground.” I told my daddy, “Try and understand, this John Deere tractor don’t fit my plan.” And I hit the road, chasin’ down a dream and I need a little help. I’m trying to get to New Orleans.

New Orleans…it’s more than a place. It’s a feeling…with atmosphere so thick you can almost touch it…a total sensory experience.

New Orleans…Gay ’90s hackney coaches minded by sleepy, ancient handlers who guide the old mules almost as well as they tell tales that weave the real history of the Vieux Carre with the legends handed down through generations and sometimes made up on the fly to fit the mood of the clientele.

New Orleans…Jackson Square and the flagpole in the park that marks the meeting place of pirates who once visited this mystical place years ago and now where lovers circle hand-in-hand in a ritual mating dance in between the winos who stagger or sleep at will. The Cathedral of St. Louis, King of France, looms over the entrance as it did when Walt first visited and later modeled the Disneyland Castle after its architecture.

One can lean against the huge, bronze statue of Andrew Jackson and breathe the very lifeblood of the French Quarter…the damp smell of the river that wafts across your face with the ocean breeze that seems to blow constantly, except in the late summer, when nothing moves. With the breeze comes the exciting aroma of Cajun cuisine that boils daily…the sweet basil, thyme and oregano accentuated by the bit of the red, white and black pepper…and the ever-resent Tabasco Sauce that’s made on an island just around the corner. There’s the crisp, mouth-watering scent of the special donuts made at the Café Desmond and covered with enough powdered sugar to induce an instant diabetic coma to even the most healthy individual. Add a strong cup of chicory coffee and you’ll have a rush that can last for weeks.

The most powerful smell, of course, is of stale beer.

Past the café is the famous market in the French Quarter where you can purchase almost anything. It was started long ago by the French and Spanish, then continued by the Cajuns for generations. Now it is almost exclusively the territory of Indians and Arabs…the international traders. It is one of the few places, however, where you can still thump a melon before you buy. If you don’t know the benefit of that practice, never mind.

Sidetracked up in Illinois, I’m not that smart, I’m an innocent boy. She called me baby, she called me Honey, she called a cab and took away my money. On the road again, somewhere south of Moline and I need a little help, you see, I’m trying to get to New Orleans.

New Orleans…home of the French Quarter…possibly the most unique place in the world. A leisurely walk across the cobblestones and you’re immediately transported into another world…or perhaps all the world wrapped into one. The lilt of different dialects filters through the air as tourists and natives amble down the sidewalks. Artists of all kinds fill the streets. Those with brushes paint pictures of Elvis in front of a wrought-iron fence, houses surrounded by wrought-iron fences and just wrought-iron fences. All are hung for potential customers on the wrought-iron fences that line the streets.

There are mimes of all kinds, jugglers, clowns, magicians and bums with attitudes. These are, after all, French Quarter bums who demand a noble acknowledgement of their status.

Don’t know why I gotta go. If I don’t try I’ll never know about e’touffe and Cajun Queens. I need a little help, you see, I’m tryin’ to get to New Orleans.

And the sounds. Ah, the sounds of the French Quarter. The bleeting, billygoat grunts of the barkers enticing the tourists inside to see all kinds of abnormality set the natural rhythm of the music that spills out of nearly every doorway. In the French Quarter, Jazz rules…and Dixieland Jazz is King. The famous Absinthe House, where Louis Armstrong learned his trade is the central point, manned by great, mostly black masters nearly as old as Satchmo. The Duke of New Orleans coaxes magical sounds out of his sax outdoors in the Mediterranean Café, his tempo measured by the house-drawn carriages that clip-clop down the narrow street.

Past the Jazz is the thrill of excitement and danger. Venture too far down Bourbon Street and the beautiful, painted ladies aren’t ladies. Venture further into the darkness and, if you’re lucky, you can view a pagan, Voodoo ritual and watch a live chicken being sacrificed. If your luck turns, you’ll be the chicken.

It is on the far end of Bourbon Street, deep in the bowels of the Vieux Carre, where one can find the den of the famous Miss Rudolph…Queen of the Witch Doctors. Richard Prior paid homage to her on one of his early albums. As one who can testify from experience, you don’t want to go there. Miss Rudolph is a hefty woman of unknown age with the tattoo of an eye on one, huge breast. After you drink one of her potions, that eye will wink. She has a three-legged monkey that bothers everyone who enters…except Miss Rudolph. The fourth, withered monkey-foot dangles from her neck. Miss Rudolph will tell you she can grant you magical, sexual powers. Trust me. She can, but the downside is a bitch. I suffer from spells ever since she scratched me with that monkey-foot at age 16. Years later, I still see the blinking eye.

If you go to New Orleans, you need to remember a few, loose rules: Don’t kiss anyone you aren’t absolutely, positively sure about…remember, this is the place where the Queen of the Mardi Gras is a King. No matter what they say, six raw oysters are enough. Don’t throw Hurricane glasses into the fans at Pat O’Brians. Don’t attempt a morphine buy, no matter what the girl says. And steer clear of the Voodo dens and panel discussions. The ultimate sacrifice isn’t worth it.

I hocked my watch, bought a burger and fries, tried to pretend it was red beans and rice. Midnight in Memphis, hello to Graceland, next stop…Louisiana. I’m on the road chasin’ down a dream. And I need a little help, you see, I’m tryin’ to get to New Orleans.

Calling Out

1/27/1995

A long, long line if formed where there stood only one person (well, two if you count old George) not very many years ago. You know, the ones who claim to have been “Country when Country wasn’t cool.” A strong argument could be made that Country was always cool, but Country music, or more accurately, the number of people who embrace Country music, is growing at an astounding pace. Why?

For this column, two reasons are particularly important. First, Country music, like all music, has gotten better. The production is much smoother and a greater number of people are finding Country music more pleasing than they initially expected.

Another possibility more important reason is that Top 40 radio, with its own problems of fractionalization, caused many listeners to search for a better blend of music. Some of these listeners have gone to Adult Contemporary stations, some have gone to Rap, a lot have gone to Alternative, but the largest percentage of former Top 40 listeners have “Gone Country.”

The phenomenal success of Garth Brooks led to many crossing lines that once were thought uncrossable. Would it surprise you to learn that in a recent survey of those people who love Garth Brooks, one of their other favorite groups was Uriah Heep? That may be the biggest leap of faith, but it’s no jump to say that more people share Country with other types of music than ever before.

It wasn’t too long ago that a Country music listener was a Country music listener. Period. Now, you’ll find sharing and sampling with other formats.

This changed Country radio. Country programmers are no longer competing against their Country competition. Country programmers are competing against all formats for listeners…and in more and more cases, winning…and winning big.

Because of the potential for a larger audience and the broader spectrum of competition, Country radio has become more cautious in music programming. The old days of a promotion person walking into a station with the new George Jones release that hits the air immediately are gone.

Marketing and promotion in Country music have become much more sophisticated. So has programming. And the most sophisticated (and most controversial) portion of programming is call-out research.

Call-our research. These words strike more fear in the hearts of promotion people than, “Maybe next week.” The only other words that have as much impact would be, “You are fired.” For record companies, the next horror movie will be, Friday The 13th, Part 10: Freddie Does Call-Out Research.

Call-out research for Country radio has become an important tool. It’s the only true way to separate the hype from reality. However, call-out research must be a tool…not the be-all and end-all. Call-out research, when done accurately, will give an impression of the people in the data base. That’s all. An impression. And records that tend to test well are the records that are most familiar.

Relying only on call-our research can make you radio station sound older and more predictable. It should be used to make sure your Power records and your Oldies are correct, but call-out research is almost completely unreliable in predicting the success of new music, which is so vital to the Country music format. If it worked, record companies would spend millions on focus groups and never have a stiff.

Because call-out research is so important to Country radio, Network 40 has employed an independent company to provide our readers with a national call-out research chart. We are the only magazine doing this. For a reason. If it is important to our reporters, it is important to us. This call-out research chart will serve as a comparison for those who already have their own research in place. And it can be used as a barometer by those who are, for financial reasons, unable to conduct call-out research on their own.

However, even as Network 40 goes to extraordinary lengths and expense to provide this important call-out information, it is even more important that programmers realize that this research is only one tool to be utilized in making a great radio station. As a Top 40 PD for over 20 years at some of the biggest radio stations in the country, I witnessed what happens when call-out research is given too much weight. The demise of the Mainstream Top 40 format can be blamed, in large part, by those who use call-out research exclusively to program their radio stations. The health and future of any format lies in the ability of that format to expose and break new acts. Failing to do so narrows the list of “acceptable” songs and artists. As the list narrows, even the songs that once tested well begin to burn out and the audience becomes bored and searches for more fertile pastures.

The strength of Country radio lies it its ability to expose new acts, sounds and songs, just as Top 40 once did. If Country programmers focus to much on what not to play rather than what they believe they should play, the Country format runs the risk of repeating the historical demise of Mainstream Top 40.

Call-out research should be used to reinforce your natural programming instincts. The program director who says he can’t depend upon his own musical judgment should perhaps look for a job in sales. You are a programmer because you have the talent…the special, innate ability to choose what is right musically and program successfully to the tastes of your audience. Don’t let an over-reliance on research dilute that talent. Use it to strengthen your ability.

Call-out research didn’t make Garth Brooks the biggest act in the world today. It certainly didn’t predict the success of the biggest selling single of all time, “Achy, Breaky Heart.” It is best used as only one of your many tools. Nothing more…nothing less.

As my Momma said, “Too much of even a good thing is worse than not enough.”

Q And A

1/20/1995

Since the inception of our Country section some months ago, I’ve talked with hundreds of professionals in the radio and record industries about our plans. I’ve shared our ideas and solicited their advice. I’ve also answered lots of questions and it occurred to me that many others, who haven’t had the opportunity to ask, might like some answers.

How many stations will be in the panel? It’s ultimately up to the industry, because Network 40 built its reputation on being the only radio-friendly trade magazine, we don’t want to exclude any radio station from sharing our information and participating in our publication. However, we recognize that the record industry needs a barometer that reflects sales. Network 40 will identify the stations that are programmed aggressively, stimulate record sales and affect other stations. These will be included in our PPW research regardless of market size. Unreliable Arbitron ratings or bogus weighting will not play a part in the final equation.

Since call-out research is becoming a big part of Country programming, how will you reflect its impact?  Network 40 has commissioned one of the largest call-out research projects in the country. The results will be printed weekly. Network 40 will be the only publication providing call-out research. We recognize that call-out research is a big part of Country programming. We want to provide it as a tool to those who can’t afford to do their own and as a comparison to those who have a system already in place.

What’s the big deal about “actual” Plays Per Week as opposed to projections? Reality. Projected plays are just guesses. The industry isn’t interested in guesses; the industry is interested in reality. It’s not how many times you think you’ll play it, but how many times you actually played a record that is important. For years, radio stations provided playlists that were loose guesses about the popularity of records programmed…or in some cases, not programmed. The industry recognized the dishonesty (sometimes inadvertent, sometimes planned) in the system and demanded change. PPWs and BDS made that playlist obsolete and provided the industry with an honest representation of how many times a record was played.

What’s the difference between PPWs and BDS? In a perfect world, there would be little difference in the final tally. However, the world isn’t perfect. Without Network 40’s PPWs, many important stations would not be represented because BDS doesn’t monitor all stations. When technical problems arise, Network 40’s PPWs are critical in determining the exact number of plays records are getting in specific markets. Programmers won’t have to provide station logs to “prove” they’re playing certain records. Reporting actual PPWs to Network 40 provides the perfect balance to BDS. Projections can’t make the same claim.

What’s the difference between Network 40, R&R and Billboard? The biggest difference is that Network 40 is staffed by former programmers who strive to make our publication radio-friendly. Network 40 provides much more than charts. Our publication is full of programming information and news that, hopefully, will make it easier for you to do your job. With exclusive features like “Promotions,” “Programmers Conference Call,” “Station Spotlight” and the interviews (among others), Network 40 is full of helpful, important information found nowhere else. Our editorial content is the sharpest in the business. We integrate articles to help the radio and record industries understand each other better and work together more effectively.

Why do we need another chart? You don’t. The industry needs an accurate chart, provided by radio that is representative of actual plays on radio. That’s Network 40’s PPW chart.

Why did Network 40 decide to do a Country section? For a couple of reasons. First, I love Country music. Second, The Network Magazine Group recognizes the importance of the Country music industry and we believe we are the right entity to represent it. Besides, Network 40, we also publish Album Network, Urban Network and Virtually Alternative. The Country Network is our next, logical step.

Why do you pick on R&R so much? My dissatisfaction with R&R began when I was programming, long before I came to Network 40. I objected to a publication that dictated what I could and couldn’t do. R&R was never a “friend” to the radio or record industries. R&R used both to further its own needs. I objected then and I object now, to the self-proclaimed rules governing reporting status and the make-up of charts. Before Network 40, people criticized R&R quietly because to do so loudly could have disastrous results. Times have changed. The criticisms of R&R on these pages are not mine alone…they are the thoughts of programmers and record executives with whom I speak daily. I don’t purport to be the “conscience” of the industry; I only reflect the opinions of those who share their opinions with me. Besides, if Network 40 doesn’t do it, who will? R&R, with little regard for the interests of either the radio or record industries, has dictated policies and practices for years without fear of retribution. Network 40, with the help and influence of both the radio and record industries, is changing that.

Last but not least, why do you print naked pictures on Page 6? Because people send them to us. However, as more of our readers find them offensive, you won’t see many more. I would say you won’t see any more, but I’ve been promised a shot of a “buck nekid” Nick Hunter. I’m sure you’ll agree that if it arrives, it has to run!

Quack! Quack!

1/13/1995

Charts…charts everywhere a chart, paginating poorly and breaking many hearts. As long as my record moves up, I’ll read the charts.

Everybody sing!

Of course, this Editorial had to be about charts. More specifically, R&R’s charts. Excuse me. R&R’s new and improved charts. In other words, they’ve changed. Again.

It is hard for us not to say, “We told you so.” Too hard, in fact. “We told you so.” Two years ago. It was over two years ago, in fact, when Network 40 began publishing the industry’s first chart based solely on Plays Per Week. R&R laughed.

It wasn’t too long afterwards that the radio and record industries began using the Network 40 PPW chart and BDS as the standard by which record activity was judged.

In several Editorials, Network 40 “suggested strongly” that R&R drop its archaic ways of tabulating the chart and join the industry in publishing charts based solely on Plays Per Week. We even offered R&R the use of PPW without a fee so our entire industry could be standard.

R&R refused. For a while. But when the industry began to move away from R&R’s charts, surprise…R&R began the first of many changes.

R&R graciously took the term “Plays Per Week” without any acknowledgement to Network 40 or a simple, “Thank you.” (We weren’t surprised.) And R&R designed some new charts.

Unfortunately, R&R didn’t design them correctly. So screwed up were the original charts that R&R was forced to change them again and again.

Finally, last week, R&R threw in the towel. They dropped their unreliable weighting system and the even more ridiculous “add factor” and began publishing a chart made up of unweighted Plays Per Week without any add factors or other bogus paraphernalia.

In other words, R&R finally began publishing a chart just like the one Network 40 has been publishing for over two years.

We only have one question to ask. “What took you so long?” After countless Network 40 Editorials, thousands of complaints, several sacrificial lambs and a couple of ownership changes, R&R had another change to get it right. But God bless their pointy little heads, even in a feeble attempt to do too little, too late, R&R still managed to screw up. Twice.

First, R&R admitted that all their charts were inaccurate because of the methodology, weighting, add factors and other bullshit. R&R changed them all. Except the Country chart.

Excuse me? If all the charts are inaccurate because of the methodology, should all the charts be changed? Why is Country unchanged and inaccurate? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, isn’t it a duck? But R&R didn’t stop there. Instead of including all Top 40 reporters in the “new” chart, those still left in power (if only for a short time) decided to arbitrarily take some stations out of the chart because of their musical stance. In a blatant rip-off of the Monitor, R&R is printing a Pop/CHR chart and a Rhythmic/CHR chart.

Network 40 has no problem with R&R printing two charts. We print several. It’s often important to plot a particular record’s progress by format in different PPW charts. However, our main PPW chart includes all of our reporters.

Why? Simple. Since our inception, Network 40 has been consistent in our belief that a publication should not dictate to the industry it reflects. It is not our job to define a radio station’s format. Nor is it our right. Those who choose to do so are wrong. R&R is wrong.

In their haste to be different, R&R, with another change to get it right, missed again. R&R arbitrarily decided certain stations are Rhythmic (and should be in a different chart) and other are Pop and should remain in the “main” chart.

Who decides what stations go where? It certainly isn’t the stations that make those decisions. We could blame Tony Novia and Kevin McCable, but they’ll both be back in radio soon, so we’ll skip right to the top. It’s a cinch that Erica Farber won’t be returning to radio. In order to successfully return to radio, you have to have been successful in radio. Since Bob Wilson has taken the poison pill, Erica is in charge. Doesn’t everyone feel more secure knowing she’s calling the shots? Her success in radio was marginal. Her knowledge and passion for records is questionable. Maybe R&R should change its name to RA…Radio Advertising. That’s something Erica was good at.

How can R&R arbitrarily leave certain stations as Pop/CHR and throw others out because of the way they lean musically? If stations like Power 106, KMEL and WPGC don’t belong, shouldn’t stations like Z100, WLUM and WEDJ be thrown into another split> Erica? Erica?

Instead of a magazine trying to dictate policy to radio stations, should we instead focus on those programmers who are doing good no matter how their stations lean? Can’t we look at stations like WPLJ, Hot 97 and Z100 in New York, Kiss 108 Boston and Power 106 in Los Angeles and WNNX in Atlanta as a whole; and programmers like Scott Shannon, Steve Smith, Steve Kingston, Steve Rivers, Jay Stevens, Kevin Weatherly, Stevev Perun, Rick Cummings and Brian Phillips as individuals and learn something from all of them?

The programmers and stations mentioned are highly successful with their individual brands of Top 40. Each leans a little (or a lot) toward one type of music. Then there’s Dan Kieley in Omaha successfully playing almost everything. If R&R is to be accurate, a main Top 40 chart should include them all.

The audience doesn’t define their favorite station; they just listen to it. Good music is good music…good radio is good radio.  Shouldn’t radio stations be judged by their success in playing contemporary music as a whole, rather than micro-focused to fit the format of a magazine?

When will R&R learn? Now that Erica Farber is in control, the magazine should drop all charts and focus on delivering news and information to general managers. If the industry was defining R&R, that’s where we would put the publication.

Until then, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck. If it rhymes with duck…it’s probably R&R’s charts!

Happy New Year 1995

1/6/1995

Happy New Year! The countdown has begun. Only five years until the biggest party in the history of the world. And for once, that’s no hype.

No matter what Prince says, we can’t party like it’s 1999 until it gets here. And we’re down to the short strokes. Not that any of us are absolutely assured of making it. But with each passing day, our chances do get a little bit better.

The first week of the New Year…it is the best of times…it is the worst of times. It is the first week of the rest of our lives…a time full of hope and joy…a time of great expectations…a time filled with the determination to change your life for the better…a time to alter your ways and become the person you always knew you could be…a bright and happy time that will make the beginning of the new you…no more wasted days and nights, but positive productive hours culminating in dramatic results of gargantuan proportions…this is the year you’re gonna be a contender…this is the time.

The first week of this year is also only one broken promise away from being alike all the others. So, what are you going to do?

Many negative thinkers believe that human beings cannot change their ways…that habits entrenched from years of repetition will remain. This is so much bullshit. Of course, we can change. It happens all the time. People stop smoking. People stop drinking. People stop using drugs.

People can change. People do.

Change is mostly difficult. People, for the most part, don’t want to change. How many people work unhappily in the same job for years without seeking change, then, when fired, exclaim that it was the best thing that happened to them? It only points out the important process of altering one’s lifestyle for the best. For change to occur, first one must want to change.

But wanting it isn’t good enough. There isn’t one person in the world who doesn’t want things to be different. But to become a force in making a difference, you have to add two additional elements: risk and hard work.

I promise that you cannot effect change, even small changes in your own life, without an element of risk and some hard work. Take New Year’s Resolutions, for example. Most everyone makes them…most everyone breaks them. It is a statistical fact that over 97% of all New Year’s Resolutions are broken…usually within the first month of the new year. So why do we make them? Because we want to change. But wanting change just isn’t enough.

After you determine that you want to change something, you have to take a risk. A risk, you ask? What’s the risk? The risk is that you won’t make it…that you’ll fail. Not much risk. Not like your life…or your savings…but fear of failure is risk enough to make many people not even attempt a lifestyle change.

Psychiatrists will tell you that the majority of people are more motivated by the fear of failure than the desire for success. It’s strange…and it’s sad. Failure isn’t something we should be ashamed of. Failure, except in maybe skydiving and bomb handling, isn’t fatal. And failure certainly isn’t forever.

History is full of inventors who failed many times before their ultimate conquest. The early failures meant only that they were attempting to push the envelopes that were confining their thoughts and patterns.

You also must be dedicated to the proposition of success. You must be willing to work…and work hard to succeed. Too often those who don’t succeed point to those who do and say it’s because of luck. More often than not, luck is getting up earlier, working longer and harder and sleeping less. It don’t come easy. “If you wanta sing the blues, you gotta pay your dues.”

Our industry if full of those who want change. We can (and do) fill convention halls with people who put down the status quo, call for new and dramatic changes, then return to their jobs and continue to follow the other sheep. Not only does the majority seldom attempt to effect change, but they are quick to criticize others who introduce innovative ideas. In no other industry is there more bluster and less follow-through. In both radio and records, we have few walls t stifle our creativity, yet we manage daily to stifle ourselves. With some of the brightest minds working in our industry, it is mind-boggling that we manage to cling tightest to the expected ways of doing business rather than exploring the possibilities of new and startling ideas.

The radio and record industries are changing dramatically. And the ways these industries interact are also changing. Programmers know this. Promotion people know this. The sooner the changes are recognized by those higher up who set policy, the sooner the industries will work smoother together for common goals. Too many of those policy-makers are installing marketing adjustments for the wrong reasons. PDs and promotion teams…those soldiers on the front lines…must be involved in the discussions and implementation if these are to be positive and not simply cosmetic changes.

One of 1995’s resolutions for Network 40 is to create a conference that will enable our indstries to explore innovative ways of accomplishing our goals and interests. There are too many conventions now that discuss “How To Produce A Morning Show” or “How To Promote Specific Records To Non-Specific Formats.” What our industry needs is a forum that will allow unfettered ideas to be floated on the winds of openness and excitement without the fear of ridicule. In 1995, Network 40 resolves to provide that forum.

Network 40 is all about positive changes. Our resolutions for the New Year are to continue to explore all possibilities and to stimulate your thoughts and actions toward the same aim. In our exciting industry, we are in control of our own destiny. We have the ability to find the new act…to invent the new format…that will alter the lives of listeners and change the world. It is for this higher purpose that Network 40 exists.

It is in this spirit, along with the quest for knowledge, that we also resolve to print no more naked pictures on Page 6.

Of course, some of these resolutions will be broken sooner than others.

Stocking Stuffers

1/6/1995

Next to when I was nine years old and I got that shiny, red bicycle and my first kiss under the mistletoe, this was my best Christmas ever.

Ever!

R&R changed their charts. Whoa! Can you believe it? R&R will begin publishing unweighted Plays Per Week charts this week.

Truly unbelievable.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends and enemas, animals and freaks, this is an announcement of mammoth proportions…particularly for an uneducated, ignorant country boy like me. Two years ago this week, I wrote the first Editorial on the pages of Network 40 condemning R&R’s charts and the methodology used to gather the information. The entire industry laughed from the sidelines as Network 40 began attacking R&R as an unreliable source of music information.

We began the attack and waited for R&R to blink.

Over the next two years, Network 40 debuted the first Plays Per Week Chart and challenged R&R to do the same. For the next year, R&R clung to their tired, worthless methodology of tabulating inaccurate playlists even as the industry screamed for change. Finally, R&R succumbed. A year ago, R&R finally went to a Plays Per Week Chart. But some of the powers who ran R&R couldn’t even do something that simple correctly.

Instead of a standard PPW chart, R&R conjured u a chart with add factors, unrelated weighting and other voodoo weirdness. The industry howled, but capitulated…for a while.

After another year of ceaseless barraged from the outside world…after 12 more months of foaming at the mouth while trying to drum up empty excuses for the inadequacies of the charts…R&R finally capitulated. With last month’s announcement that R&R would begin publishing an unweighted PPW chart, R&R admitted two long years of mistakes and justified every shot taken in the past 24 months by Network 40.

With this acknowledgement, R&R didn’t blink. R&R grimaced and shit its eyes!

And just when I thought this would be the merriest of Christmases ever…it got even better. First, R&R admitted that their charts were totally screwed up and announced changes beginning in 1995. My heart truly skipped a beat. Then, R&R announced that all of the charts would be changing in 1995…except the Country chart.

Hello…McFly?

The Country chart is the most screwed up of all the R&R charts. It isn’t based on Plays Per Week, the weighting system is bogus, the add factor is ridiculous, the “projected” plays are an industry joke…for all of these and more reasons recently outlined on this commentary page, the Country chart should have been the first one R&R changed. Yet they aren’t changing it at all!

What is wrong with this picture? Are all the other charts (using the same methodology) wrong, but the Country chart right? If so, how? Of all the bone-headed moves made by the R&R hierarchy in the past two years, this one takes the cake. If the methodology behind all the other charts makes them inaccurate and the Country chart uses the same methodology…it doesn’t take a genius to know that the Country chart is also screwed up. Forrest Gump could figure this one out. This chart doesn’t need help like Bosnia doesn’t need help.

The compilation of the Country chart in R&R on the last week of 1994 created so much controversy that Nashville is still up in arms, but this is the chart that doesn’t need to change.

The R&R Country chart is so perfect that Monday at 5 pm on the last week of 1994, that chart showed Faith Hill’s “Take Me As I AM” as the number one song. At 5:30 pm, fully half-an-hour past the cut-off time, a station called in to make changes in their previous report. After the report was tabulated, the new number one record on the Country chart was Joe Diffey’s “Pick-Up Man.” Chart positions were announced and all was right with the world.

Except that Warner Bros. wasn’t pleased that Faith Hill had been knocked from the number one spot after the deadline. Someone let loose some righteous indignation and, supposedly, no less than Erica Farber (who everyone knows is an expert in the field of radio, charts and music…particularly in the Country field) took it upon herself to invalidate the report.

Final result? Faith Hill was back at number one.

Network 40 has long maintained that R&R’s methodology allows the opportunity for chart manipulation, but we never thought the manipulation might take place within the hallowed halls of R&R. Although we applaud Ms. Farber’s zeal in righting what she thought was an obvious wrong, we have a lot of questions.

Did she recall every radio station that reported information that week? As we’re sure someone who heads up a publication based on accurate statistical reporting knows, if you subject any raw data to a challenge, you must subject every piece of raw data to the same challenge for the final information to be statistically accurate. Why was a report taken after the deadline? Who called R&R’s attention to the late report? Why did R&R determine that Joe Diffey would be number one, only to change their mind later? Couldn’t they have waited to make sure? Why does R&R take phoned-in reports that are so easy to manipulate? Why doesn’t R&R demand faxed play information? If, after Ms. Farber changed the station’s report, she had received a call from Epic about another station whose list might have been in error, would she have changed that report also?

This is the chart that’s okay? This is the chart that didn’t change? This is the chart ridiculed on Music Row by a sign saying, “Joe Diffey…Number One in Billboard for Four Weeks…Number One in R&R for an hour!” This chart needs so much help, R&R should call Jimmy Carter.

Come on, R&R. Face the music. The Country chart is absurd. Drop the ridiculous “add factor.” Discontinue the archaic weighting system. Stop having stations “project” their Plays Per Week. Stop letting stations phone in their reports. Accepted only faxed, computer-generated airplay reports so there can be no manipulation.

Then you’ll have an accurate chart. Just like the one coming in Network 40.

I Love L.A.

1/20/1995

When Guns ’N Roses came up with the lyrics, they really didn’t have a clue. “Welcome to the jungle, baby.”

Is it just me or has this past year been a particularly evil bitch? January 17th brought everything full circle. I staggered into the front yard, more than a little groggy from another night of under-indulgence (I always feel worse when I get too much sleep) to the usual screams of my neighbors. After two years, they still aren’t used to the sight of a naked man stalking the morning paper.

Back in the house, I stumbled over the trapeze that had been pulled from the ceiling hooks the night before and cracked by head on the Harley still parked in the living room from last weekend. Too weak to make it to the kitchen for the shot of adrenaline, I rolled over on my back and checked out the headlines.

“7.5 Earthquake Wreaks Havoc!”

I sat up quickly…too quickly. The handlebar of the Harley almost ripped my ear off.

“Damn the beast,” I said to no one there, and no one heard me, not even the chair. I shoved the Harley over on its side and didn’t care when the oil and gasoline began pouring onto the rug. With this much devastation outside, who would care about the carpet?

It must have been a great party…the one I couldn’t remember from the night before…to sleep through a 7.5!

When my eyes finally focused on the story and I saw the earthquake happened in Japan, I threw the paper on top of the oil spill and hoped for the best.

January 17th…a day that will live in earthquake infamy for the rest of this decade at least. Is this something that should be studied? Are these shakers clustering around a specific date? Is this a chapter from “Nostradamus” that I missed? Does anyone know? Does anyone care?

You care if you’re a California resident. That’s mainly because Hollywood is in California. The motion picture business must be somehow responsible for all of the weird things that happen here. Sometimes we believe that Cecil B. DeMille has followed the yellow brick road to heaven or hell and is directing all of the insanity that infiltrates our everyday life. It is the only rational explanation.

Think about the natural disasters that come with the territory. Take the earthquakes…please. We go through som many quakes that they become commonplace…sometimes boring. Where else in the world would buildings shake and floors roll and people nonchalantly look around and say, “Three-five.” Only in Hollywood are quakes graded and scored immediately.

Nothing is ever normal here. We can’t have a minor inconvenience. We have to have disasters. In fact, natural disasters are the norm here. It never rains in Southern California…it pours. We can’t have a few showers…a flash flood or two. Nope. We get the whole nine yards. California was in a drought two years ago. You remember how it ended? Rained for 40 days and nights…just like the picture.

Last month brought on ore rain. Television news doesn’t talk about the weather. Each station has expensive graphics to identify “Storm Watch 95” or another flashy name for what is happening. And the clouds must be tuned in. The Russian River in northern California rose 48 feet above flood level. 48 feet! Here in southern California, we had the Malibu mudslides. Nope, it’s not a new amusement park. It’s a flood of mud that crashes into million-dollar houses and turns them into “minor” fixer-uppers.

And just about the time we dig ourselves out of the mud, the fires will come. Last year, half the state burned. This year, with all the rain, maybe we can keep the burning to a minimum.

People who don’t live here joke about the natural disasters that fall upon California. They laugh and say, “Hey, you’ve had fires, floods and earthquakes. What’s next? Swarms of locusts?” Evidently these people haven’t heard about the killer bees. They’re moving up from Mexico.

And, of course, we’ve got O.J. People get killed in every other city in the world and though it’s sad and unfortunate, it doesn’t turn into a combination circus/soap opera. An all-important game in the finals of professional basketball was interrupted while a white Bronco led the California Highway Patrol on a low-speed chase through Los Angeles. Where else but in L.A. would people leave their cars to cheer for “The Juice” as he ran from his accusers?

Simpson’s house and the murder scene have turned into tourist attractions with police directing the crowds and traffic. Vendors sell souvenirs. It’s disgusting. I had to wait nearly 25 minutes for a T-shirt with his likeness on the front. And everyone has a theory. The only difference is that in California, everyone with a theory is interviewed on TV. Those with really good theories get their own shows.

There is some good news among the bad. Violent crime is down, probably because most of us are holed up inside watching the O.J. trial develop on television. What about F. Lee Bailey and Robert Shapiro fighting because somebody leaked information to the press. The fight about the story is now the front page story. You couldn’t get this script approved for an episode of L.A. Law.

California is a state of mind. It is cracked, crazy and continuous. And if you’re in the record or radio business, it’s even worse. Those of us in the record and radio business are like second-rate citizens. In Hollywood, movies rule. And movie stars rule the movies. Let me put it to you in a way you can understand. If there was one table left at The Ivy and a movie star and a recording artist arrived at the same time, it’s no contest. The singer walks. If it’s the singer versus a television actor…the singer still walks. If it’s the singer and the second lead in a new television sitcom, the Nielsen ratings will be checked (every maitre d’ in Hollywood has a copy handy) and a decision is reached. If you’re in radio…forget about it.

So, people say, if California in general and Los Angeles in particular are so bad, why don’t you get out?

What? And leave show bidness?

I love L.A.

Dear Santa (Christmas 1994)

12/16/1994

Dear Santa:

It’s been a year since I’ve written. I’m sorry, Santa. I know I should write more often, but face it, in our business, it’s what can you do for me now? Since you only grant wishes once a year, why should I waste the stamp?

You know I don’t feel that way, Santa. I’m only echoing the intensity of our industry. And the industry has been especially intense this year, Santa. Actually, tense would be a better term.

With all of the fallout in the industry, our good people are looking forward to Christmas more this year than any year in the past. So, if you don’t mind, Santa, I would like to ask for some Christmas presents. Not for me, but for my friends in the industry. Most of them won’t ask. The record guys are afraid you’ll demand a promotion in return. And the radio guys have already given their wish list to their local reps. So just let me drop a couple of hints.

Don’t give Burt Baumgartner anything. He’s getting everything he wants as he moves to California. However, if you could, please do me one favor, Santa. Burt is shipping one of his cars out early and has asked met o put it in my garage for “safe keeping.” Let him send the Viper…with the keys. I promise I won’t wreck it and I’ll never let Burt know I’m cruising the strip in it until his arrival.

Give Jerry Blair another phone so he can talk to five people at the same time. For Jerry Lembo, some No-Doz so he can stay up past ten. For Charlie Walk, a little more exposure. Let Jim Burruss have a new computer…preferably a Mac. Don’t worry about Justin Fontaine. Having Burt as his boss is quite enough. Just let him continue to lose to me in golf, although you don’t have to grant that wish, Santa. I’ll take care of that.

For Tenenbaum, a decision on the length of his hair…or really, any decision. Let him finally make one. And for Gorlick, any cheap shot. He’s so easy to pick on. Actually, Santa, give Gorlick a discount at the Palm, though he should be able to accomplish that on his own. What about Paula? Something good for having to work with those two.

For Craig Lambert, wedding bliss. For Val DeLong, an unhappy marriage so she’ll come running to me. And for Greg Thompson, patience and new answers for the same questions.

For John Fagot, a better year for the Bulldogs (I know I asked for that last year, Santa, but keep trying, will you?) For Costello, a new hairstyle. His wife can work wonders…she just needs to work harder on him. Let the Rebels tie them Dogs for Blalock so he and John can be satisfied. And Pat’s picture for Reiner.

A skyhook for Sky Daniels so he can slam those records home. More trips to the West Coast for Riccitelli. More radio stations for Vicki Leben to call…she’s down to about 400 a week. And a healthy baby for Murdock.

A healthy, happy, stress-less year for Stu Cohen. A big raise for Barney. Please, please, Santa, let Rich Fitzgerald find another restaurant. I know he gets mileage-plus at Iroha, but its gone way too far. Give Ratner absolutely, positively anything and everything he wants.

Polly Anthony got everything she wanted in 1994, but put some icing on her cake next year. Let Barb Seltzer have even more opportunities to hell me I’m the man. I’ll even convert. Make Dale Connone stay away from my daughter. (I know many others have asked you for this same wish, Santa. Grant them, please.) A huge jug of Cajun martinis for Hilary Shaev. For Rick Bisceglia, more nights like the one in San Francisco last month. And let Bruce Schoen get out of the office more.

It was a rough year for Andrea Ganis. She was run over by a cab, dirtied in the streets and slashed by an unfortunate Network 40 package. Let 1995 be accident-free. And have her keep up the matchmaking. Maybe it will work. Give Danny Buch a real radio station to program. Steve Leavitt needs one less computer. And tell Cubby he doesn’t need to attend every event on the West Coast. More hours in the day would be nice for Peter Napoliello. A bigger expense account for Ken Lane. And a cover for Michael Steele. You don’t need to Give Brenda Romano anything. 1995 is going to be her year. For Lopes? Flannel shirts and jeans.

A huge promotion for Butch Waugh. And another “statement” cover for Skip Bishop. More trips to the desert for Michael Plen. He needs them. And more time for golf for Bill Pfordresher. I’m beating him way to badly now.

Jack Satter wants the inside line to The Chrome Lizard. Mark Kargol has to find a new friend. The one he’s got is wearing him out. David Leach needs a membership to a country club. Andy doesn’t. And Kerry has to come out here more often. A Coolio hairstyle for Becce. A giant hit for Ray Carlton.

Many more dinners with Nancy Levin. (Oops, that’s my wish. Okay, I’ll buy.) And more hit records for Ann Marie to bring home.

Switches and ashes for Rick Stone…he’s been a bad boy. Give Lori Anderson the world and everything that’s in it…and one less trip to Disneyland with the kids. How about giving Minor’s throw-aways to Spendlove so he can get his wish and finally be just like Charlie?

Give Joel Denver the best and R&R the worst.

Network 40’s staff needs a lot, Santa. Let Dwayne finally close Hard Kill…though they’re all hard for him. And let him hang with all the “players.” A Knicks’ championship for Pat since he’s in New York to enjoy it. A new rubber chicken for Jeff. Please, Santa, please get some hip clothes for Kilgo…or sunglasses for the rest of us. A non-addictive sedative for Kristen to be administered each Monday. More Crossover stations for Meade. A “special” friend for Karen. For Sara, a real man. We asked for this last year, Santa, and she still doesn’t have one. Kathryn wants more male cheesecake photos. The Lizard wants the opposite. Give Leah a part-time job at KIIS. A beautiful wedding for Josie…ditto Kathryn. A perfect Country state of mind for Barry and Jamie. Harman needs more artistic freedom. Debby wants at least one dead-line to be hit. Let Helen’s “special” relationship with Gorlick to continue. James needs a louder voice…but don’t give it to him. To Victor, a week with no meltdowns. Alden wants an audience with the Joint Chiefs of Staff. A day off for Stan.

Peace on earth and good will toward men and women. And to all a good night.