Category: Commentaries

Reciprocity

2/23/1996

I witnessed the most extraordinary event last week at the Gavin convention in Atlanta.  (No, I’m not talking about the dancing ballerinas…although I must admit, they were extraordinary.) I’m talking about a casual conversation that took place in the lobby between a program director and a promotion executive.  The conversation crystallized the ongoing problems that occur in our business on an almost daily basis.

I was standing with the programmer of a major-market radio station when a promotion executive joined us.  We were waiting for an elevator.  Since the two had never met, I made the introductions.

After a handshake, the promotion executive smiled and said, “You know, you should be playing (artist’s name) on your station.”

The elevator doors opened, everyone said their “nice to see ya’s,” and the promotion executive disappeared into the sea of people going down.  (It’s a figure of speech…as in the elevator was going down…not the people in it.)

After the doors closed, the programmer turned to me and said, “Can you believe that?”

I looked around, positive that I had missed something.  “What?”

“I can’t believe I just got pimped on a record in the lobby.”

I stared at him for a long moment.  “Are you on crack?” I asked.

He assured me that he wasn’t…although the chances of him being under some sort of mind altering drug seemed evident after making that statement.

Really, can you imagine a record promotion person actually promoting a programmer on a record?  What a concept.  It could revolutionize our business!

Ladies and gentlemen…boys and girls…let me share a secret with you.  Record promotion people are paid rather large sums of money to accomplish one aim:  Promote records.

Surprised?

Welcome to the jungle.

I’ve written countless words about the relationships between programmers and promoters.  The message seems to have missed many in our business.

Programmers must understand one important point: Reciprocity.

If you ask for favors from record companies, you must expect a payback.  If you’ve never asked a promotion person for any type of favor…you may stop reading this Editorial.

It’s all well and good to joke and kid about the different kinds of relationships we have with our colleagues, but at the end of the day, it’s a business.  And you’re kidding yourself if you believe anything different.

Why shouldn’t a promotion person mention a record to a programmer?  It is their job…just as it is a programmer’s job to say “no” if the record isn’t right.  Many programmers are quick to pontificate about their radio station’s promotions, research or latest ratings.  Is it too much of a stretch to imagine a promotion person doing the same thing?

Many programmers succumb to the dreaded Ali disease.  You know, “I am the greatest.”  And who can really blame them?  Outside of members of Congress, is there any group that gets their asses kissed more than programmers?  And most deserve the love.  Most programmers serve in relative obscurity, work for slave wages and live with the fear of knowing they can be canned at the drop of a hat…or a rating point.  All this while promoters and artists make money and fame from the efforts of programmers…or at least from the effects of the effort.

So there is some measure of justification.  Record promotion people can wine and dine programmers…tell them they’re great…generally suck up to get on their good side so they can talk about records.  But programmers must understand that the hammer will fall.  Sooner or later, you will be asked about records.  Trust me.  As strange as that sounds, it will happen.

And it should happen.  That’s a promoter’s job.  If a promoter isn’t asking about a record, the promoter is in jeopardy of losing a job.

I’m not writing this Editorial to try and convince every programmer to talk to every promoter about every record.  In the exchange of style and substance, some people are going to connect where others don’t.  But the level of professionalism…or maybe the term is “oblivion”…has gotten a bit blurry.

All of us…those on the record side and those in radio…should strive to understand the jobs of the others. And that understanding should go to the wants and needs behind the job.  A programmer should never get angry at a promotion person for promoting a record.  It’s the nature of the beast.  Anything short of stalking is acceptable behavior in today’s pressure-packed promotion arena.

Programmers should react to the promotion in kind.  They should also understand that it is the job that is important…not the individual.  So you’re getting your ass kissed on a regular basis and you think you’re a king…you start believing you’re a genius.  Get a grip!  How did those rosy cheeks feel a couple of years ago when you were the night jock in Nowhere Land?  Or, more important, how much will your posterior miss those kisses when your current job ends?

Accept the good, the bad and all that goes with it.  If you ask others to accept the job you have to do and understand the pressures you must contend with, also show a little of the same understanding.

There was a time when I was Ali.  (Several times, as a matter of fact.)  And more times when I wasn’t!  When I was programming KFRC, the local Columbia person was Burt Baumgartner.  I remember one conversation rather clearly.

“Baumgartner,” I said, “I need 25 pairs of tickets to the Journey concert, backstage passes and two seats on the stage to give away.”

“Gerry,” Burt answered, “if I do this for you, what can I expect in return?”

“Bud, let me explain this in a way you’ll understand.  When I ask for something, you say yes.  When you ask for something, I say no.”

Times have changed.  But remember one phrase that has withstood the changing times and still works if you’re cornered in a lobby.

“It looks good for next week!”

Amen, Ahmet

2/16/1996

He was sitting in a chair, leaning forward slightly, elbows on his knees.  The spotlights illuminated the stage, casting the hundreds of people in the audience in the large convention room into darkness.  If he was bothered by the attention, you certainly couldn’t tell.  Politically incorrect, but turning it into the opposite by the mere fact that he did it, he lit a cigarette, took a sip of water and turned the big hall of strangers into a living room full of close friends.

“I was about 13 or 14 years old when I first went to New York.”  His gravelly voice cut through the microphone, causing the audience to move toward the edge of their seats…ears straining to pick up every word…eyes watching for the slightest nuance.  “They dropped me off at a movie theater by myself and promised to return in a couple of hours to pick me up.  I waited until they turned the corner, then hailed a cab and told the driver to take me to Harlem.”

The blonde sitting beside me nudged me hard in the ribs.  “Ain’t Ahmen cool?” she whispered in a hiss loud enough to be heard three rows back.

I acknowledged her with a nod.  I didn’t have the heart or desire to tell her his name wasn’t Ahmen.  It would have taken too long and she probably wouldn’t have cared one way or the other.  I had no idea who she was or why she was sitting in the first row, listening to Ahmet Ertegun, Co-Chairman and founder of Atlantic Records, as he was addressing an assembled multitude who had come to hear a sermon on the mount.

She was stunningly attractive in a bubblegum sort of way…short blonde hair teased as only women in the South can manage…rouge…bright red lipstick…long eyelashes and fake fingernails that matched the lips.  She was dressed in a vogue (whatever that is), see-through white top that tucked into a black dress with white polka-dots.  One dark nylon-encased leg crossed the other at the knee, rocking back and forth in time with the gum she kept popping in her teeth.

I felt the need to tell her to pay attention…to cherish the moment…that she was in the presence of a true legend…but she was too young to know or care.  But evidently not as naïve as I initially thought.  I would see her at the bar at two o’clock the next morning, having drinks with the man who was speaking.

The legend lives on.

“I wound up in a place similar to the Cotton Club sitting by one of the show girls.  I introduced myself to the band leader and they thought I was something.  Here I was, a young white boy, who knew as much about the music as those who were playing.  Hell, I had all their records.”

A quick time out for a puff, a sip of water and he continued with his story.  “After the show, they invited me back to a rent party at one of member’s apartments.  Someone was playing the piano, another singing, others joining in on assorted instruments and the next thing you know, I had a drink in my hand.”

He cleared his throat…not that it made any difference.  The rasp that is his voice was unaffected.  “I was getting hammered when one of the guys who knew my uncle came up and said, ‘What’s that in your hand?’  I informed him that it was scotch.  He told me drinking was bad for me, took the glass away and handed me a reefer.”

The crowd roared, giving him time to light another smoke.

In an industry quick to hang the mantle of “legend” on almost anyone who has a couple of good ratings books or signs a hit act, Ahmet Ertegun redefines the term.

To put in perspective, when compared against his accomplishments, the rest pale in comparison.  Forget pale…become invisible.

So you’ve signed a couple of acts who’ve sold a few million records…and think you’re happening? Get over it.

Ahmet found acts who became so famous they’re known universally by their first names.  Like Otis and Aretha.

While others mined the caves of New York (the ones he had already stripped), he discovered Muscle Shoals and made it legendary with recordings by Wilson Pickett and Percy Sledge.

Is there another person who could make this statement:  “The only two people who could be described by the term ‘genius’ in the 20th century are Louie Armstrong and Pablo Picasso.  Everything anyone has done since in music or art they got, in part, from the influence of these two.”  Louie and Pablo…only Ahmet could pull that off.

Ahmet is  truly one of a kind.  He’s done it all…with a passion and style unmatched in our business.  And, he had fun doing it.

You know what else? He still does.

Here’s a guy who almost lived with Mick Jagger for a year-and-a-half to get The Rolling Stones on Atlantic Records, then once the deal was done, he laughingly told Mick not to call him anymore…he had his name on the contract.

Here’s a guy whose diverse musical tastes allowed him to sign Ray Charles and Led Zepplin.  Talk about a reach!

It’s all well and good to memorialize his accomplishments, but as Ahmet is quick to point out, he ain’t done yet.  Ask him how old he is and he’ll tell you time is immaterial.  It’s not where you’ve been, but where you’re going.

Young at heart? You bet.  And in the flesh.  A lot of people decades younger than Ahmet were left bruised and battered in his wake in Atlanta.  You think he needs that cane to walk?  Not a chance.  It’s to shove aside the fallen bodies as he makes his way to another mystical place that is changed from the ordinary by his mere presence.

Ahmet Ertegun is epitomized by the company he founded…a company that defines diversity in Alternative, Rhythm & Blues, Rock, Rap, Jazz, Classical, Pop and everything in between.  It’s all music to Ahmet.

It is impossible to describe Ahmet Ertegun in ordinary terms because he isn’t an ordinary person.  His accomplishments are certainly extraordinary.  Yet, the very thing that makes Ahmet special is that he is ordinary in the most exquisite sense of the word.  He loves music.  From a listener’s perspective, not as an icon.  He’s a fan.

To know him is to love him.  To know him is to learn from him.

We should all be so lucky.

Ahmet Ertegun.  He’s so cool.

Book Review

2/2/1996 

One of the more interesting interviews you’ll read…and an interview that directly affects your livelihood is in this issue of Network 40. Pierre Bouvard, General Manager of Arbitron, gives his thoughts and answers questions that can help you do your job better.  A PD or MD can learn how to best program a radio station to achieve accurate ratings through the Arbitron methodology.  A promotion person can better understand a programmer’s needs in relation to the dreaded “ratings.”  As a programmer, I have felt the sting of Arbitron’s methodology.  That bad boy bites!

Mr. Bouvard makes some interesting points in his interview.  Whether you agree or disagree with some of his positions, one thing is certain:  Since his appointment as GM of the company, Arbitron has seemed to be more attentive to the needs of radio.  Many radio executives many question the end result of their discussions with Arbitron, but none can say that Arbitron doesn’t give radio a fair hearing.

Mr. Bouvard points out that bad radio makes for bad ratings.  An oversimplification, to say the least, but somewhat true, nonetheless.  If you have a radio station that is programmed correctly and aggressively, you’ll have more good books than bad.  However, Mr. Bouvard is fooling himself if he believes that just programming a successful radio station will generate a substantial gain in a ratings books.

Although Arbitron methodology shouldn’t be the primary focus in adding records, planning promotions and setting up format clocks, you certainly must take that methodology into consideration.  Programming “across the quarter-hours” may be an old wives’ tale to Mr. Bouvard, but as a piece of the pie. It always seemed to work.

A good PD will program a radio station to the audience through the methodology or Arbitron.

Why? Why not?

It certainly doesn’t hurt and, if only as a further attention to detail, it can and does help.

If you are going to be judged, not by how your station sounds but how well you do in the books of Arbitron, you have to play by those rules.  Arbitron uses certain techniques to get listeners to respond to a survey.  Make sure you’re aware of those techniques and use them yourself. 

Since Arbitron uses a recall method, it is extremely important that you ingrain in your listeners the “favorite” flavor.  By constant repetition, your listeners should be convinced that your station is their favorite.  It can’t be stated enough.

Contests and promotions should always have something similar to, What’s your favorite station?” as an integral part.  Force your listeners to identify your call letters as their favorite station.  Perceptions is reality.  Fool around all you want to with “The #1 Hit Music Station,” “Your Concert Connection,” or other slug-lines, but in recall methodology, the answer to “What’s your favorite radio station?” is going to win every time.

Since Arbitron asks participants to write down their listening habits, you should use this same methodology in contests.  On-going promotions that force your audience to listen over a period of time (like Cash Call, High-low, etc.) should be reinforced with the slogan, “Write it down.”

This is not to say that every contest you air should be tagged with that phrase, but having your listeners…and particularly the contest pigs and others who participate regularly in promotions…reinforced with the suggestions to “write it down” can only be a benefit.  Those who don’t play contests won’t be offended and those who do will be reminded.  If a diary falls into one of these households, you’re sure to benefit.

Any promotions that increase specific listening (such as those mentioned above) must be a consistent part of your promotional campaign.  Too often, we become “too hip for the room.”  It’s fine to be hip, but promotions should be aimed at the least common denominator.  The hip and cool people probably won’t participate in an Arbitron survey; they’re too busy.  It’s those nerds who have no life other than their radio that will make your ratings go up.

Mr. Bouvard makes a very interesting supposition in the interview when he says that people don’t recall exactly what times they listen.  Even the GM of Arbitron admits that the results are a basically a “guesstimate.”  So Arbitron isn’t exactly accurate?

Hold the presses.  We’ve got a news flash!

There is no doubt that Arbitron’s methodology in determining ratings is suspect at best and a cruel joke at worst.  Radio has known his forever.  We have criticized Arbitron for their methodology, techniques, samples and returns since the first bad book. However, the joke is on us.

Why? Because radio hasn’t come up with a viable, economical alternative.

We’ve had some experiments with alternative ratings.  Direct phone calls are infinitely more accurate in determining at-home listening.  When you call and ask someone, “What station are you listening to right now?” you’ll usually get an accurate answer.  But when a respondent is questioned about previous listening habits, we’re back to the same old horse…just a different color.  And there’s no way to get an accurate account of those listening at work (who’s going to risk the wrath of their boss to participate in a radio survey at work?) or in automobiles.

People meters are the next step.  These “beepers” fit on a respondent’s belt or inside a purse and measure the frequencies each person is exposed to over a given day.  These would be extremely accurate, but also extremely expensive.  Will radio pick up the additional tab for a supposedly more accurate survey?  Radio already questions the amount charged by Arbitron.

So what’s a mother do to?  Get into TV, where the entire nationwide audience of over 200 million people is determined by 200 households?

Face it:  Radio programmers are stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Your future is often determined by an inadequate system that is often inaccurate.  Most GMs discount the importance of Arbitron…until the book comes out.

You can work hard, spend hours on music computers, research and contests.  You can wear yourself out by programming through Arbitron’s methodology and still get killed by a bad drop.

Good thing there’s another avenue available for your consideration.

Grammytical

3/1/1996 

I like to dress up and have a good time.

Is that line from a song?  Or is it just a state of mind during Grammy week in Los Angeles?

With all due respect to New York, there’s no business like show business in Los Angeles.

Besides, we’re feeling pretty good about ourselves right now.  Magic is back, the Lakers are making a run and it’s Showtime again at the Forum.  The Dodgers are talking the talk as they prepare to win their division.  Disney bought the Angels, so they’re bound to improve.  We don’t have a professional football franchise, so we’re able to see the best games on television.  We haven’t had a really good mud slide in over a year, no fires to speak of and not a measurable earthquake (that’s anything over a 4.0 for those of us who live here) since 1994.  Housing prices are moving up and O.J. hasn’t called a local radio station in over a week.

It’s Grammy week.

I love L.A.

And I especially love L.A. during Grammy week. It’s the one time of the year in this entertainment town that the record and radio businesses gets to pretend we’re more important than the motion picture industry.  In the long run, we fail, of course, but for one brief moment in time we can ask the question: “Did you do it for love…did you do it for money…did you do it for spite…or did you have to, honey?”  (That’s an oblique reference to The Eagles, for those of you who are a little slow.)  And just in case you’re wondering, I always do it for spite.

Those of you who live in New York don’t quite understand us out here on the Left Coast.  See, we don’t dress up a lot.  You people will squeeze into a tuxedo or evening dress at the drop of an invitation.  Not so us.  It’s got to be special. 

And the Grammys are special.

It’s not just the Grammy presentation.  It’s the total experience.  Like going to a state fair, it’s fun to see the main tent, but the sideshows supply the real action.

And a sate fair doesn’t hold a candle to Los Angeles during Grammy week.  You think you’ve seen the world’s fattest man, the tattooed lady, the piercing Queen, the transvestites, the sword swallowers, the fire-eaters, the freaks, the jugglers and clowns that all did tricks for you?  Honey, come down to Hollywood.  You ain’t seen nothing yet!

The action begins long before Grammy week.  Things begin to get tense when the invitations are sent out.  God forbid if you aren’t invited to one of the parties.  It’s a social faux pas worse than brown shoes with a tux.  It starts when one of your colleagues asks if you’ve gotten an invitation to a certain party.  If you haven’t, the politicking begins in earnest.  You start by calling everyone you know at the company, wondering why you haven’t received your invitation.  They, of course, lie and say they’re sure you’re on the list.  The invitation must be the mail.

You, of course, don’t believe them for a second.  So you begin asking others with more juice to help you out.  They, of course, lie and tell you they’ll get right on it.  You’re left out in the cold.

But, if you’re smart, you can scam your way in.  Just find out others who are invited to the parties you want to attend.  Leave the awards early and stop by the party.  Use their name.  The people checking the lists are not heavy enough to garner an invite themselves, hence, they have no idea what the real person looks like.  You’re never asked for an I.D. And no one is really hurt.  When the “real” people get there, they can prove who they are by showing an I.D.  They’ll get in (after a hassle) and you’ll already be drinking champagne at the bar.

Next to arrive are your actual Grammy tickets.  You quickly break open the envelope and check your seating.  The tickets probably suck.  But it’s hard to bitch.  They’re supplied by a record company.  (Does anybody other than record companies actually pay for these things?)  If you were at a major market last year, and this year you’re in a smaller city, look for your tickets to be further from the stage.  If you’re in radio and you get your tickets early, you’ve got a chance at moving closer.  It depends on the records you add.  Hold out for the prime locations.

The first party is the biggest record company party of the year.  It’s Clive’s party at the Beverly Hills Hotel.  You haven’t truly arrived until you’re invited to Clive’s party.  And trying to get an invitation is almost impossible.  You’ve got a better shot at front-row Grammy tickets than getting on Clive’s list.

Clive’s party happens the night before the Grammys.  Appropriate.  Most believe it’s more important.  And it’s Black Tie.  Now the Grammys are Black Tie as well, but Black Tie in L.A. means anything from a tux to spangled denim jackets with cowboy boots and spurs.  Not so with Clive’s invitation.  Better have the tux or be ready to get embarrassed.

Then we finally get to the Grammys.  The most important part of the Grammys is your arrival.  You must, of course, have a limo.  Anything less is of the lowest order…or either ultra-cool.  You have to be pretty confident of yourself to pull up in your own car.  Since almost nobody in our business has that confidence, the only people who drive their own cars are those who can’t afford a limo.  Take out a loan.  In this town, the bank will understand.

After you get inside the Shrine Auditorium, you must locate your seat.  This is very important because you must determine who has better seats than you.  That’s the only real reason for going to the awards.  You must be able to silently gloat about having better seats than your rivals or smilingly seethe over seating you deem inappropriate.  You’ll do both.  There are enough people over you and under you to have you completely confused.

Veteran Grammy-goers leave their seats right after the opening ceremony.  The lobby provides the perfect setting for the ultimate schmooze-fest.  There you can brush against the titans of your industry and they can pretend they think you’re important…if only until someone more important enters their peripheral.

And don’t forget to leave the ceremonies early.  You have to clear out before the people you’re impersonating later.  It’s the only way you’ll get into the parties.

King Kong

1/12/1996 

It’s about time.

The entire radio and record industry has talked about a full-fledged Alternative station debuting in New York for about as long as the format has been alive.  Although many have made attempts in some form or another, no station, with a signal big enough to cover the New York metro has made a full-fledged commitment to the Alternative format.

That all changed last week.

King Kong. In the form of KROQ Los Angeles programmer Kevin Weatherly, is now climbing the Empire Stare Building.

How will Kevin succeed where others haven’t?  Simple. Weatherly is one of the best programmers in the country.  It’s that simple…but it isn’t that easy.

Alternative radio has been the flavor of the month for several years with varying degrees of success.  The Alternative format has been the dominant format in more smaller markets than large.  Is there a reason for this?  You bet.

Who are the biggest guns?  Bill Gamble at Q101 Chicago, Brian Phillips at WNNX Atlanta, Joel Folger at The Edge in Dallas and Kevin Weatherly at KROQ Los Angeles.

And the biggest of these, by market size and audience share, is King Kong Kevin.

Is there a reason why these four programmers have succeeded in the Alternative format beyond the audience shares experienced by most?  Of course.  It isn’t blind luck, no matter what some people would have you believe.  Each is an experienced programmer who knows how to put together an exciting radio station that attracts the audience.

Is it just coincidence that each of the most successful major-market Alternative programmers have deep experience in the Top 40 arena?  Not by a long shot.

In becoming the flavor of the month, the Alternative format has been perceived as a music format and not much more.  Many stations have flipped to the format because, in many cases, it is a relatively inexpensive format to run and maintain.  The thought is that all one needs to do is program Alternative music and the Audience will come, Pied Piper-style.

This is both true and false.  In smaller markets, where the competitions isn’t as deep, an Alternative playlist will often keep a station at the top.  In larger markets, it takes a whole lot more.

Most stations switching to an Alternative format experience an immediate spike in ratings because of the music.  Let’s face it, even in the worst-case scenario, Alternative is the freshest format on radio today.  However, that spike soon fades if the audience isn’t satisfied with what it hears between the cuts.

Many Alternative stations fail to become dominant in a market simply because of programming.  The stations aren’t very good.  No matter what the music, a radio station must combine all the elements to become dominant.

Kevin Weatherly has done this better than anyone else in our business.

In a format filled with mediocracy, because too many music directors are in charge of programming, KROQ stands alone.

KROQ is great radio station that happens to program Alternative music.

Is Kevin Weatherly an Alternative music guru? Hardly.  (Although he could be the only Alternative programmer who regularly dips snuff.)  Kevin is simply a great programmer.  Before KROQ, he was a Crossover genius.  (Not, by the way, the only Crossover programmer who dips snuff.)

Are you getting the picture?

I’ve said before that I believe KROQ is one of the best programmed radio stations in the country—regardless of the format.

The KROQ jocks are well-schooled and professional.  Sure they know the music, but more than that, they know the basics of the format.

KROQ produces exciting promotions that hit the middle of the lifestyle.  Too many Alternative stations look at promotions as something dirty.  Too many feel promotions aren’t hip or cool.  Let me explain it in a way you can understand:  Losing isn’t hip or cool.  KROQ doesn’t hesitate to stage promotions that involve the audience in the entire radio station…not just the music.

The production and staging on KROQ are some of the country’s best.  Production Director John Frost is the best.  The staging and production between the music sets up the image and style of KROQ.  The jock doesn’t have to say it.  The production does.

Too many Alternative programmers pay too much attention to KROQ’s music list.  Kevin is the first to tell you that’s a mistake.  KROQ programs music for a unique L.A. audience.  Music isn’t what makes KROQ dominant.  It’s only part of the reason.  Alternative programmers should check out the entire package.  Program your station like KROQ and choose music that is particular to your market, then you’ll have a winner.

Our industry, as a whole, has a problem understanding Alternative radio.  A lot of people want to believe the format is musically special and needs some very hip, very understanding, very cool vibe to make it grow and prosper.

Bullshit.

The success of the Alternative format…any format…lies in the abilities of the individuals who program the stations.  There is a reason that Scott Shannon, Steve Smith and Steve Kingston program in New York.  Will Kevin Weatherly succeed?  Of course.  Just like the others have.  Scott Shannon programs the most profitable Hot A/C station in the country.  Want the definition of Crossover success?  It’s spelled S-t-e-v-e S-m-i-t-h.  The epitome of Mainstream Top 40 programming is Steve Kingston.  The real story is that you could swap all of these guys’ stations around and they would all still be successful.

Because they are great programmers.

Alternative programmers need to spend less time concentrating on being ultra-cool and hip and more time concentrating on programming their stations.  It’s a lot more than just the music. 

I don’t know the definition of cool and hip, but I do know that Kevin Weatherly, Bill Gamble, Joel Folger and Brian Phillips don’t fit it.  They do, however, fit into an even more important category.  It’s called winners.

And that’s the coolest.

Resolutions For All Year

1/5/1996

It is probably the most exciting time of the year.  With few exceptions, we can throw out everything that happened before, erase the board and begin brand new.  It’s a time for new beginnings, rosy outlooks and resolutions.  All the mistakes we made last year don’t count, except to help us in our quest to become better because of them.  It’s all smiles no frowns and a happy tune on the lips of us all.

With luck, the feeling will last a week.

With a sense of purpose, it can last the year.

With hard work and dedication, it can change your life.

As managers of people, it is up to us to give the New Year’s resolutions and the people who made them every opportunity to capitalize on their goals and ambitions.  Luck only plays a big part in the lives of those who have planned and worked hard to recognize and use those “lucky” breaks to their advantage.  As leaders, most of us realize that it took more dedication and hard work than lucks to get us where we are today.  It’s important to share that work ethic and mindset with those around us.

The first week of the new year is the perfect time to begin a program of checks, balances and goals, not only for ourselves, but to others in our company or department.  I’ve always used the time between Christmas and New Year to analyze the past year and plan for the next.  It is important to do more than think about what has come to pass and what will happen.  Careful planning combined with reachable goals will stimulate your actions and keep you on the right course.

That goes double for your employees.

To maximize your potential, you must do the same for your support staff.  A group of people working together can accomplish the individual goals of each a lot quicker and easier than those working alone.  I’ll share some suggestions that have helped me in the past and may prove beneficial to you.

During the first month of the year, schedule meetings with each of your employees.  Set aside whatever time is necessary.  The meetings shouldn’t take long.  I find meetings that last longer than 20 minutes to be counterproductive.  Just make sure that whatever time you designate should be quality time.  Hold all your phone calls and focus all of your attention on the person you’ve scheduled.  If you have a large staff, you might want to schedule the meetings over a period of days.  Too many back-to-back meetings also become counterproductive.  Give yourself enough of a break between meetings so you can absorb the variables that are discussed.

Before the meeting, have each employee prepare notes.  Explain that the notes should be brief and not necessarily formal.  The notes should include a job description, goals, ambitions and a list of the employee’s strengths and weaknesses.

In order for you to get the most out of your employees, it is important to get their input.  Knowing what they want and perceive helps you make personnel decisions easier.  Too often we promote or assign tasks to the wrong people.  If you know what motivates each of your employees, your job will become much easier.

You should prepare notes for each individual listing the same topics you’ve asked them to provide.  The comparison in the meeting will help each of you understand the other and will make working together smoother over the coming year.

The job description is all important.  Although each employee should know exactly what is expected of them on a day-to-day basis, all too often, there is confusion.  Sometimes a little, oftentimes a lot.  Getting a descriptive job description from your employees may surprise you.  You may not even be aware of the tasks they’re doing.  Maybe someone else has given them assignments, or perhaps you’ve forgotten about some of the things you have assigned.  The job description­­—yours and theirs—will clarify any ambiguities.  This description should be specific and include the time they are expected in, lunch hours, breaks and time they go home.  Leave nothing to the imagination.  Compare your description with theirs and combine the two to come up with final blueprint for their working expectations and requirements.

Goals should be restricted to attainable aims within the company parameters.  Wanting to be the company president isn’t a goal.  It’s an ambition.  Goals should be divided into two groups: long-term and short-term.  Give your employees at least one short-term goal per quarter and set quarterly meetings to discuss those specifics.  If it is possible within your organization, shorter time spans and more goals are beneficial.  Whatever the time frames, make sure you schedule meetings accordingly.  Long-term goals don’t need to be as specific.  These need to be discussed at each quarterly meeting and in a final meeting at the end of the year.

Ambitions are important, so you’ll know where each employee wants to be in five or so years.  Knowing your employees’ ambitions can help you put them in the right job when openings arise.  Assigning employees tasks and titles that fit with their ultimate ambitions makes for happier and more productive people.  And it makes you look like a genius.

Although you are aware of your employees’ strengths and weaknesses, it’s important that they are aware as well.  You will be surprised how close your perception and theirs will be.  Discuss specific ways for each employee to accentuate the strengths and improve in the weak area.  Explain how you’ve reach your conclusions.  Each employee needs to know what you think about their working habits and why.

Often an employee will believe he or she is doing a good job in a specific area when you don’t.  This meeting and the accompanying notes will clarify and discrepancy between the perception and reality.

Follow-up meetings on these particular subjects are a must.  If you have only one meeting and then forget about it, the initial meeting becomes as concrete as a New Year’s resolution.  And will last about as long.

Identifying specific working habits, requirements, goals, ambitions, strengths and weaknesses of each member of your team will make each a better and more satisfied employee.  And make you a better leader.

It’s sure to make you all winners.

Merry Christmas

12/15/1995

We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year to feel melancholy, think back over the past year, remember only the good times and pretend we really like the people we have to do business with on a weekly basis.  Hey, it could be worse.  We could be doing construction work in Chicago.

With all of our warts and boils, with all of the emotional baggage we are asked to carry or ignore, with all the good and bad our business brings, remember this one important fact:  It beats working!

With that in mind, may I pretend to wish all of you my best for the holiday season…and particular gifts from Santa for the following:

For Andrea, a promise that she won’t be deserted at the convention, and barring that, anything in salmon. Danny Buch needs a life…and if you can’t give him that, let him trade his low-power chain for some real radio stations.  Infinity would be perfect.

My good friend Burt Baumgartner got everything he wished for in the move to California this year.  Maybe you could get him a surfboard…no, forget it…I’ll give him that. Justin Fontaine? What does he need with a boss like Burt?

Jerry Blair needs about two more litters of puppies to make his life complete…not to mention all of us who have to take the new ones off his hands.  Pretty soon, the albino German shepherd will be the mascot of our industry.  I could ask you to give Charlie Walk a little more height…but that would be taking a shot and Charlie’s too good a friend of mine to do that.  Lee Leipsner needs something else…I really don’t know what, but definitely something else.

Mark Gorlick needs a few national assistants.  He’s working himself into a lather and needs just a little help.  Maybe send him a couple of elves.  Also, can you get The Palm to put his picture up on the wall?  It’s past time.

Stu Cohen needs a new superstar project to work.  Preferably Larry Bird.  And what about Barney Kilpatrick?  A little more ink.  Hey, Santa, I can even take care of that since Barney is one of those who does more work and gets less recognition than others.  So what else can we get him?  Maybe his own restaurant in the French Quarter.  As long as I can get a table.  And how about a bigger screen for Greg Lee’s computer? He logs more time on AOL than anybody else in the business.

Could you please get Rich Fitzgerald a membership to a country club so he will get over it?  And a replacement for that $1,000 driver.  Maybe take that Deputy Sheriff’s job away from Marc Ratner.  He the most dangerous person in our business, Santa.  He’s ready to snap and licensed to carry a gun.  We could all be in trouble.

Rich Bloom needs a golf club that doesn’t come loose in his hands after he hits it dead right.  Steve Leeds needs an ark for all of the people he’s bringing in at high tide.

Don’t bring Michael Plen anything, Santa.  He’s been a bad boy this year.  Of course, maybe that’s being a little harsh.  He’s pretty much been the way he’s always been.  Your call.

What about Greg Thompson?  Now that he’s doing it his way at EEG, maybe he doesn’t needs a thing.  He got Bill Pfordresher just before the holidays.  Now it’s just a matter of who will win the toss and get to play golf.  The rest of that group is strange, particularly Coddington.  Santa, please let him know that he’s not heavy.  And Mike Whited?  Tell him he must cancel his weak attempt to establish a “Player’s Lounge.”  He doesn’t know any.

Phil Costello needs a new Beatles record.  Oh, yeah, he already got that.  How about some corners in his office?  Jeffrey Blalock needs a lot more frequent-flyer miles and Chris Lopes has got to let his hair grow.  It was his strength.

Don’t let me forget Rick Bisceglia, Santa.  I’m sure you can find him.  And Bruce Schoen? Bring him a number one pen.  He’s been writing with a number two long enough.

And Santa, I don’t wish to bring bad tidings on anyone, but if Lori Anderson ever has trouble at home, please let me be the first to know.  Of course, I’m not sure if having me by her side is a present for her, but I could convince her.  Bring Randy Spendlove some warmer clothes.

Barb Seltzer needs to be on another jury…this time with programmers on trial.  Dale Connone needs a smaller office…to make him look bigger.  What about Hilary Shaev?  An answering machine that gives out really sincere messages

John Fagot wants a new truck and a fishing pole.  Give both, Santa.  He deserves it.  And Tim Burruss needs a bigger budget.  Please, Santa, let him have it!

Joe Riccitelli wants a smoother golf swing and more time to use it.  Vicki Leben needs neither.

Marc Benesch needs to draw some better cards.  Let him hit an inside straight, Santa, but not against me.  And Brenda Romano?  A nice toy to ride beside her in that new car she’s driving.

All Mark Kargol needs is a couple of hit records.  And Lida Galka just needs room to work.

Nancy Levin needs to have more dinners with her secret love.  David Leach needs to hit it straighter.  Not further.  And Steve Ellis needs a sandwich from the Rock & Roll deli.

Butch Waugh and Skip Bishop both need the United States to recognize Confederate money so they’ll be millionaires.  Ray Gmeiner needs to turn Zoo into Jurassic Park with a couple of megatron hits.  Dana Keil should have a rose on her desk everyday.

Mike Becce, Terry Anzaldo, Joe Hecht and Ray Carlton are all in the same boat:  They need more releases.  Double them up.  Ditto Danny Ostrow.  The same could be said for Jack Satter, but I won’t say it.  Give Ric Lippincott a hog.

Peter Napoliello needs that movie part.  If I get my SAG card first, he’s going to snap.  Let’s give Michael Steele a name change so he’ll no longer be confused with someone in radio.

What about Steve Leavitt?  Give him a charge account at The Ivy, though he may already have one.  Give Craig Coburn a promotion.  He deserves one.

And last but not least, give Val DeLong whatever she wants.  She deserves it.

Now bring me some figgy pudding.

Come Together

12/1/1995 

Come together, right now, over me.

The Beatles documentary on ABC garnered a huge audience.  Interviews by and about The Beatles were on every national television newscast, the local news and just about every talk show in syndication.  Time, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, People and every newspaper in America covered the story of The Beatles releasing a new CD with feature articles.  Water cooler conversation centered around The Beatles just like it did decades before when the group released a new record.  The CD set a single-day sales record.  This from a double-CD.

And some Mainstream Top 40 stations didn’t add the new record, “Free As A Bird.”

Am I missing something here?

Countless Editorials, convention panel debates, professional and casual conversations about programming center on the lack of excitement in radio today.  Programmers are quick to stand up and pontificate about the importance of locking in with the lifestyle of the audience.  Programmers cite promotions and public affairs topics that are familiar to their audience as the important factor in focusing on their core.

Here is an absolute lock…something totally contemporary that the entire world is talking about…something positive…not wars or murders or terrorists or gangs…but a positive musical experience that some programmers chose to ignore. 

I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.

Now, I know that those of you who added the record are nodding your heads in agreement.  And I also know that those who didn’t add the record are saying I don’t know what I’m talking about.  You’re saying that I don’t program a radio station, that I don’t understand, that if I was behind the programming desk, my opinions might be different.

Let me expound.

There is absolutely, positively no reason in the world for any Mainstream Top 40 station in the world not to play The Beatles’ “Free As A Bird.” Period.

There is not one person in America who wasn’t insulated from the hype that preceded the documentary and the subsequent release of the single.  There is not one person who wasn’t interested in hearing what the song sounded like.

Forget, for a moment, whether or not the single is a bonafide hit.  Don’t weigh your decision to add the record on whether or not the musical integrity of the track fits perfectly within your flow or format.  The simple fact is that everyone is interested in hearing the song.  Not one person would tune out when the song was played.  Everyone wants to hear what it sounds like…to decide for themselves whether or not the sound lives up to the hype.

There is no down side.

Play the record for a while.  Daypart it in mornings and middays if you must.  Then, after you play the record a few times, let your audience decide whether or not they want to hear it again.

The hype has already been created.  All you have to do is join in.  Mainstream Top 40 stations across the country are falling all over themselves trying to lock into the 25-54 year-old-demos.  Is there a 25-54 year-old person out there who isn’t interested in hearing the new Beatles song?

Give me a break.

Granted, if you are programming to a specific ethnic group, you’ve got a reason.  I’m not sure that a Hispanic Dance station should jump right on that Beatles release.  Or an Urban station station.  But if you’re a Mainstream Top 40 station, what is the reasoning behind not playing. “Free As A Bird?”  Please help me out.  I just don’t understand.

Is it because, as a programmer, you’re so positive that you can pick all of the hits all of the time that you make these decisions for your audience?  So you’re telling me that every song you’ve ever added to your playlist in your career has been a bonafide smash? And, of course, you never missed one either, did you?

Objective decisions about subjective subjects like music are very dangerous.  They’re more than dangerous; they make for boring radio.

It seems that all too often, programmers find reasons not to do something, rather than search for reasons to make positive, innovative decisions.  All of us are responsible for putting music in the box it is in today.  We seem to want more of the same, rather than to seek out a different sound that might be the trend of the future.

If The Beatles’ earlier music had been held to such stringent rules, we would never have enjoyed hearing the innovative, different, revolutionary songs and albums that The Beatles made.  Rubber Soul would never have seen the light of day.  (What? Play cuts off an album with no single release? The sound doesn’t fit what being played on radio across the country.  I think I’ll pass.)  Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band? No shot.  (A concept album?  What is a concept album?  I don’t know.  I think I’ll pass.) Magical Mystery Tour? No way.  (Another concept?  I don’t understand.  They’ve got the London Philharmonic Orchestra in there.  I can’t play that.)  And the White Album? Puleeze.  (There are different arrangements.  It’s another album without a single.  Hell, there isn’t even a name on this album.  I can’t play this thing!  How will I know which cuts to program?  It’s much too Underground.)

I am a radio programmer.  I understand, more than anyone else in our industry, the pressures that go with the job.  But I also know that we, as programmers, have to push the envelope, now more than ever before, or the envelope will soon be sealed and we won’t have any other way to go.

Research and consultants have bred a type of radio that is too safe…too cookie-cutter…too boring.  As programmers we must find moments that we can turn into magic.  There aren’t a lot of them.  When we do find something positive…something contemporary…doesn’t it make sense for us to ride it until the tank runs dry?

Beatles giveaways, Beatles promotions, Beatles trivia…aren’t these elements that our entire audience would enjoy…especially with all of the hype that was generated by the TV documentary and other media?  Isn’t this a natural?

And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Goo Goo Goo Joob

11/24/1995 

I am the Egg Man…I am the Egg Man…

Welcome to Beatle mania…the 1990’s version.

It started when Gary Gersh, President of Capitol Records, invited a few of his close and personals to the famous Studio A for a private moment to hear the new Beatles’ song, “Free As A Bird.”  Security for the event was tighter than when The Beatles were recording.  The champagne was first-class, the music was awesome, the moment was spine-tingling.  Then, the anthology on ABC.

And all the memories that came with it.

I came of age with The Beatles.  Everyone else who was between the ages of 10 and 25 in the mid-1960’ can say the same.  A lot of people in our business today weren’t alive when The Beatles were changing our musical world.  Many at Network 40 missed their impact.  They all ask me the same question.  It was the question that Joan Lundon asked Ringo on Good Morning America.

“What made The Beatles so special?”

Hey, Joan, did you ever listen to their music?

The Beatles made musical history.  Why?  Because of the songs they wrote and performed.  What made the music special?  Now, there is the real question.  I don’t know if I, or anyone else, have the answer. I only know what I think.

The Beatles didn’t write and perform music that changed the world.  The Beatles wrote and performed music the reflected the changes taking place in the world.  And those who listened were more tuned in to the changes because of them.

John Lennon said The Beatles were a working class band that didn’t change.  That was true.  The Beatles, as singers and songwriters, stayed grounded in who they were as a group, even when they grew into other people as individuals.  They never viewed themselves from the outside, as did the world.  They kept focused on who they knew they were.

The band that changed the world? “We’re just four lads from Liverpool,” was John’s standard answer.  And it was true.

For the most part, The Beatles had fun.  Unlike most artists of today, The Beatles began with a sense of humor and they never lost it.  When you look at the footage of their live performances, you can tell The Beatles were having aa good a time as the audience.

Unlike most artists of today, The Beatles never bought into the hype about themselves.  They didn’t hide from fans or the press.  They were free with their thoughts and ideas.  There are literally hundreds of miles of tape and film featuring interviews with The Beatles.  Accessible?  It was part of their charm.  And part of themselves.

You see, The Beatles wrote and sang about the world around them.  To accurately reflect what was happening, they had to experience it.  Even after they became the most famous band in the world, they were still out there among us.

Elvis hid behind the walls of Graceland.  The Rock stars of today are inaccessible and unapproachable.  John Lennon was thrown out of the Troubador in Los Angeles for heckling an act.  He was also wearing Kotex on his head. I know. I was with him.

Boorish behavior, perhaps, but he was here, there and everywhere…just like the other Beatles.  They experienced life, then sang about it.

Our world was their world…and we shared it together.  They just sang it better than the rest of us.

The Beatles loved R&B music with a heavy back-beat and copied the sound in their early recordings.  I loved the music.

The Beatles made revolver and didn’t release a single.  It had never been done before.  I love that album.

The Beatles started smoking dope, experimented with LSD and sand “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.”  I fell in love with that song.

The Beatles wanted to put an orchestra behind a rock and roll beat.  It had never been done before, but George Martin, their producer, was more experienced with recording orchestras than Rock groups, so he figured it would be a natural.  And it was. I love thsse strings.

There was no such thing as a concept album before Sgt. Pepper. I love that record.

Like no other group before or since, The Beatles managed to change as the world changed around them…because they were in tune with the world.  As they grew, so did their music.  But they grew with us…not apart from us as so many performers do today.

They didn’t change the way we were.  They just recognized and identified they way we were all changing.  They were a working class band that never forgot their roots.

The Beatles were honest.  To a fault.  No hidden dope-smokers there.  Nope, they came out with it.  So there was no exposé…no tabloid story to conjure up hidden demons.

Except for the one time when John stubbed his toe and said The Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, they were mostly loved…for what they were and who they were.  And even that statement was honest.  John was responding to a question about their fame.  He didn’t mean The Beatles should e worshipped, just that because of the media, more people had heard about The Beatles in their day than anyone else at any other time before.

The Beatles were so busy laughing at themselves that nobody else had any room to laugh at them.

They were fab…they were famous…they were a kick in the ass.

Early in the ascension of The Beatles, John was asked what he did in the group.  He answered, “Sometimes I play guitar, but mostly I play the fool.”

They all did.  Beautifully.

The Beatles were all about long hair, lifestyle, laughter, peace and love, but mostly they were about music.

When asked what was next for The Beatles, their manager, Brian Epstein, said, “The next song.”

Thanks to their music, I am the walrus.  And so are you.

Maui Wowie

11/10/1995 

The night had begun to sour an hour or so before…with the rancid tropical drinks laced with rum, complete with the obligatory orchid and tiny umbrellas.  The drinks were served by howlies, pretending to be natives, to the patrons, pretending not to be tourists.  Neither managed to pull off the bluff.

My first mistake was eating the orchid.  The group that had gathered around me, happy to be led through the streets of Lahiana by a man of my supposed stature, began to cast long, suspicious looks in my direction.

Fair weather fools they were.  Without me, they would be perfectly content to see Maui perched atop the stools of one of the tourist traps with a cheap string of shells around their necks.

Not me.  I was searching for the real Hawaii…home of the most beautiful people in the world.  I wanted to dig deep into the depths and find the bones of those who lived when Lahaina was just a sleepy little whaling village…and before…when King Kamahamaha ruled the sand and surf.

To get there, sacrifices had to be made.  I explained this as quietly as possible to the rookie sitting on my left.  He was dressed in a newly purchased authentic Hawaiian shirt that was made, of course, in Hong Kong.  His wife, a dainty little waif who clutched his arm and smiled at everything, hung by his side and onto my every word.

I pulled the guy close.  “You understand, some of our group must die.”

All the blood drained from his face.  The waif choked on her Mai Tai.  The crushed ice streamed out of her nose.

“How’s that drink?” I asked

“Tolerable,” she managed.

Her husband leaned closer.  “What did you mean by that statement?”

I waved my hands around.  “Yee, God,” I whispered, “sacrifices, of course.  They’ll be stripped naked and staked to the sands, eaten by crabs, their bones used to make trinkets.”

The waif threw up on her shoes.  The husband stood up and backed away cautiously, his eyes never leaving my face.

I took another shot of rum.  Thinning out the heard is a process one must go through to get to the true core.  And no one is better at turning a large group into a small one than me.  I am a professional.

I jumped up and headed for the door.  “To the tunes,” I shouted.

Half the group thought I said, “tombs,” and we lost them.  Better still.  There wasn’t room for all in the karaoke bar.

I ordered another drink and listened half-way through some Japanese businessman trying his hand at Bon Jovi’s “Wanted: Dead Or Alive.” When I made my move.

“Somebody grab the mike,” I yelled as I tackled the would-be singer.

Nobody did.  As the businessman’s friends came to his defense, my “friends” headed for the exit and the safety of the street.  I found myself there shortly, helped by two able-bodied security guards on the look-out for people just like me.

“Perfect,” I grinned.  “Two survivors.”

My compatriots, Burt and Christine, were waiting…for my company or because I had the keys to the car? I couldn’t tell, but they had been through much worse with me before.

“Where to now?” Christine wanted to know.

“To the tattoo parlor,” I answered.

Burt immediately hailed a cab.

To hell with all of them.  I staggered down Front Street to the parlor, fell inside and demanded service.

“What would you like?” the tattooed tattoo proprietor questioned.

I pulled myself up to attention, or as close as the rum would allow.  “I want,” I said indignantly, “a gold stake in my left ear, just like King Kamahamaha.”

“No problem, mate,” he said.  “But you’ve got to understand that I do body piercing here.  We don’t use a gun.  I want you to feel the total piercing experience.”

With eyes gleaming, he pulled out a long, shiny ice pick and waved it in front of my eyes.

I didn’t waver.  “You’re going to stick that in my ear?”

He grinned.  “Anywhere you like.”

“Does it hurt?”

A bigger grin.  “The pain is tolerable.”

I asked for the ice pick.  He handed it over and leaned on the counter.  I hefted it, checked the weights and balance as I checked him out.  The dude was pierced all over…holes in each ear, both nostrils, tongue, everywhere except…

I slammed the pick through the back of his hand, nailing him to the counter.  His screams followed me out of the door.  I surmised that his tolerance of pain wasn’t as high as he suspected.

I managed to make it to the beach before my legs finally gave out.  Rum has that effect on me.  I inhaled sand for a while before passing out completely, waking up hours later in a puddle of slobber and sea water.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it,” a voice rumbled behind me.

I rolled over on my back and saw King Kamahamaha himself, outfitted only in a thong made of leaves.  In one hand he held a crude spear…in the other, what was left of my bottle of rum.

“Are you him?” I asked.  “Kamahamaha?”

He nodded.

“The King!” I cried.

He laughed and sat down beside me.  “No, I’m Ken Kamahamaha.”

I frowned.  “Any relation?”

He shrugged.  “Some.”

I contemplated his answer for a while and reached for the bottle.  Together, we emptied it. 

“What’s that matter, brudder?” he asked.  “You look sad.”

I was.  “I wanted to get my ear pierced with a golden spike, just like King Kamahamaha.”

“You mean like this?” He held out a huge hand.  In his palm was a golden spike.  It glistened like a diamond in the light of the full moon.

I lay back on the sand.  “Put it in.”

He shipped out a large knife with a dull point and went to work.  When he was done and the blood had dried, he asked, “How does it feel?”

I fingered the golden spike imbedded in my left ear.

“Tolerable.”