Category: Commentaries

Lesbians

9/12/1997

To quote the old adage, “now that I have your attention…”

Last week’s Editorial caused a bit of a stir in Los Angeles radio…no fewer than three different programmers in three different formats called to complain that I was writing about their station.  Paranoia strikes deep in Hollywood.

I wasn’t writing about any of the PDs who questioned my audacity (it was a Rock station), but from the number of calls I received, both from L.A. programmers and others across the country I must have struck a nerves.

For those of you who missed the Editorial, I said, “Radio sucks.”

Okay, truth is, I said much more than that, but in a business known for and built on hyperbole (look it up), you can usually boil most of our conversations into a key word or two: play my record…hire me…you’re the best…don’t ever change…radio sucks.

This past week brought that quote more into focus than any Editorial could ever do.  Princess Di’s death and the resulting media frenzy surrounding it, forced PDs to deal with a lifestyle event that wasn’t listed on the pull-down menu of their music schedulers.  The insatiable appetite of the audience for information about Princess Di put stations on overload.

Suddenly, jocks had to sound human…they had to act semi-intelligent…they actually had to talk to the audience, rather than reading liner cards at them.  PDs had to develop special programming to meet the demand.  Uncommon questions were asked and answered:  How much information?  When?  What do we do if…?

Music radio even had to do the unthinkable:  Programmers had to find a new piece of music and play it without the hype (or help) of a record company.  It was a world gone mad.

Elton John’s rewrite and ultimate performance of a new version of “Candles In The Wind” became the most-anticipated record of all time.  Never before was so much heat generated by a record.  Forget music radio…and radio in general…information agencies from network newscasts to lead stories in the most-important newspapers in the world blared the news.

PDs stayed up all night to tape the song off the telecast.  “Candles In The Wind” became the most-requested song in the world overnight.

So, what’s my bitch?  It’s that Top 40 radio doesn’t choose to “own” a particular culture or event until forced to do so.  Princess Di’s death and the audience reaction following the tragedy should put PDs on notice.  There are things your listeners care about that you are completely unaware of.  This is why you aren’t performing as well as you should.

What are those things?  I don’t know.  It isn’t my job to know.  And it won’t be your job if you don’t know.

But here’s a news flash:  You have to take the lifestyle things that happen and make them your own.  If I was programming in San Francisco during the present BART strike, I would set up mini-concerts at the ferry landings for all the new commuters during drive time…serve coffee and donuts at the toll booths…make special music sweeps for slow commutes…provide buses (with only my stations playing inside) from certain areas.  That’s not covered under “music scheduling.”  However, a good PD takes advantage of uncommon events and gives the radio station a halo.

But you can’t wait until some “act of God” provides you with special motivation.  It is time for programmers to get out from behind the piles of paper, the reams of research, the countless meetings and the endless bullshit and find out who their audience is and what they like.  If you don’t do this…and don’t do this in a hurry…you’re going to find out one thing loud and clear…your audience won’t like you.

Unfortunately, most programmers today don’t live the lifestyles they are trying to reach.  If you can’t live the lifestyle, you must surround yourself with those who do.  And you must, at least, visit that lifestyle from time to time.  Reading a computer print-out about it isn’t enough.

Does anybody out there know why Howard Stern is so popular?  Because he’s vulgar, borders on the profane, does crazy things and might do something crazier tomorrow?

You’re missing the point.  (So what else is new?)  What’s the key word?

Lesbians.

Say what?

Howard Stern is the most popular morning personality in the history of radio because he knows exactly who his audience is and exactly what his audience likes.  No single person…and certainly no research firm…can hold a candle to Howard Stern when it comes to knowledge of an audience.  Howard found the equation early:  Lesbians=Ratings.

Oversimplification?  Of course.  Bottom line?  Howard knows his shit.  Howard “ruined” the careers of several PDs who tried to change him.  Howard wasn’t doing it “their” way.  My God, Howard actually talked with his news person.  Howard talked about sex.  We couldn’t have that on the radio.

Instead of reacting negatively to Howard Stern and his new ideas (as many PDs did about my Editorial last week), what would have happened if one…just one…of Howard’s early PDs had stopped and listened…had gone along with the ideas…and accepted Howard’s knowledge of his audience?  Had added to it?  That PD might today be as rich as Howard.

Maybe we are too busy keeping our jobs to really do our jobs.

As I see it, our job is not to suck.  And the best way not to suck is to understand who our audience is, what they want and how to deliver what they want to them.  If we accomplish all of that, then it’s a wonderful world.

If not,  remember the key word.

Hello?

9/5/1997

I had the opportunity to do a lot of radio listening over this long Labor Day Weekend.  I use the word “opportunity” loosely because, basically, I had no choice.  I was recuperating from a short visit to the hospital (thanks for those “get-well” presents) and could do nothing except lie around in a drug-induced (prescription only, mind you) euphoria and tune in the radio.

I wasn’t listening for too long before I realized the stupor I was experiencing wasn’t drug induced. It was the crap I was listening to.

After a long weekend of soaking up radio in Los Angeles, I have only one statement to make: “It sucks.”

Please don’t get me wrong. I’ve always stated that two of the best-programmed radio stations in the country are located in Los Angeles:  Alternative KROQ and Oldies KRTH. Since Dan Kieley’s arrival at KIIS, you can make it three.

These radio stations are programmed with excitement.  What happens between the records is as important as the records.  Promotions are a part of the programming.

Hello?  Is anybody out there taking notes?

I understand that if you’re a baby PD in a tiny market, some programming nuances might be a little difficult for you to grasp.  But if you’ve got the big gig in a big city, may I ask a question?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

One station in L.A. was featuring music from a particular decade.  Not a bad idea.  But there was absolutely no staging…no promotion…no excitement to get the listener involved in what was happening.  Just lame jocks reading lame liner cards twice an hour, saying how the station was featuring songs from this particular decade.

Boring.

Think of the theater-of-the-mind a good programmer could have created.  News stories of that decade could have been interspersed with important facts to make the weekend fun.

“Did you know that a six-pack of Bud cost only 97 cents in 1981?” “In January of 1971, the first person walked on the moon…and  this song was #1.”

Contests could have been run that would have made the whole weekend.  Furniture and clothing from that period could have been given away.  Maybe a vintage automobile from the decade.  Plus, you could have sponsors roll back their prices to that of 10 or 20 years ago.

It could have been so much fun.

Fun.  How silly me.  Why would anyone want a radio station to sound fun?

Listening to this station made me embarrassed.  I prepared more for my college show in Jackson, Mississippi than this station did for an entire weekend.  What’s the matter with these people?

I can tell you from listening that a lot of time and care was spent assembling the music.  The mix was perfect. So why not let the audience know it?  Why not toot your own horn?

Is it “not cool?”  Are you trying too hard to be too hip?  You think promotions, staging and excitement aren’t cool?

You should be working for the phone company.

Watch television.  Look at the commercials.  Those big companies––going for the same audience as you––are throwing all of their considerable weight behind promotions that make their product top-of-mind.  Why aren’t you  doing it?

Oh, you’re too cool.

Got it.

And what about the lame disc jockeys on the weekends?  I’ve preached forever about the importance of having your best talent on the air during weekend hours.  Why?  Repeat after me, children:  Weekends are prime time to gain new listeners.  Why?  Repeat after me, children:  Most listeners are creatures of habit during the weekdays…they get to work at the same time…come home at the same time…listen to the radio at the same time.  But during the weekends, things change.  More people tune in to different stations.

So you have the opportunity to attract new listeners on a Labor Day weekend.  Yet you don’t do any promotions, produce stagers or anything like that because you’re way too cool.  You would rather let your audience find you “organically.”  And you put on part-time jocks to really make your “new” listeners feel this could be their favorite radio station.

Have you lost your mind?

Please–– work your best talent on the weekend.  Oh, they don’t want to work weekends?   They need the weekends for their own life?

The hell with them.  They’re disc jockeys.  They have no fucking lives…if they did, they certainly wouldn’t be disc jockeys.

Work their asses on weekends.  And not only work them, make them be their best.  It’s in their best interest.  It’s in your best interest. There are new listeners out there.  Charge your jocks with getting them.

If they don’t want to work on the weekends, fire them and find people who do.  This is radio.  Weekends are part of the gig.

Of course, having your disc jockeys on edge when they’re on the air means you have to have a little edge for yourself.  No promotions?  No production?  No special Programming?

No energy.

When is the last time you had a meeting with your promotion director to plan something that would sound really good on the air?  When is the last time you had a meeting with your jocks to critique their sound?  When is the last time you had a meeting with anyone to discuss what your station “sounds” like?

Are you listening?

Hello?

Neither is your audience.

A Crazy World

8/22/1997

It’s a crazy world, but I live here…

Mac MacAnally, a friend and songwriter of some note, penned those words several years ago.  Since then, nothing has happened to prove him anything less than prophetic.  I was reminded of Mac this week when I read an article about the MIssissippi Sovereignty Commission.  Mac and I grew up near the shores of Ol’ Man River and shared many common experiences.

From the mid-1950s until 1972, an agency called the Mississippi Sovereignty Commission existed to protect the people of the state from “subversives.”  Actually, that’s a nice way to say the state government spied on its citizens to make sure they were living the good, clean, segregated life.  The commission was a secret…whispered about by many, but known about only by a chosen few.  Several years ago, under the Freedom of Information Act, the commission was officially acknowledged.  Bits and pieces were made public.  Some of this information was used to convict the murderer of Medgar Evers…documented in the movie, Ghosts of Mississippi.

All of the documents kept by the Mississippi Sovereignty Commission are about to be made public…including the names of those “sympathizers” who were spied upon and the informants who provided information.  Every person mentioned is being notified before the documents are made public.  Why are you reading about this in a Network 40 Editorial?

Because my name is supposedly listed in the documents as one who was sympathetic to the Civil Rights movement.  I was spied upon.

I find it amusing that anyone would bother spying on my “activities” as an elementary school child and teenager.  When I found the reasons why I was listed as a “sympathizer,” it became downright comical.

My parents, as most middle class families in Mississippi in the 1960s, had a house-keeper.  Lela Maye Woodson most definitely “kept” our house.  More often than not, it was Lela Maye whose approval I sought instead of my parents.  To say she “raised” me is not much a stretch.

Lela Maye had two sons and two nephews that she often brought with her to my home.  Nearly every afternoon, I was in the side yard playing some kind of sport with the Woodsons.  They played hard.  In that yard, the Woodsons didn’t teach me the difference between black and white.. I learned black and blue.  All four went to college on football scholarships and two made it in the NFL.

I recall several of the neighborhood boys objecting to playing with “coloreds.”  I didn’t.  I was always on their team and we generally won.  It was by ball…my yard…end of discussion.

I was branded a possible future subversive by the Mississippi Sovereignty Commission at the tender age of eight.  I wonder who turned me in?

Probably my brother.  He hated to lose.

In hindsight, I guess the commission was accurate in their assessment.  Who knows why…maybe through Lela Maye’s constant singing…but I was drawn early on to R&B music.  I used to lay awake late at night under the covers in my bed, tuning my little transistor to WLAC in Nashville and listening to the latest R&B songs spun by Big John R.  After he signed off, I spun the dial to XERF in Del Rio, Texas and the famous Wolfman Jack.

Something must have happened.  Years later, I was working the night shift on WRBC in Jackson.  The “RBC” in the call letters stood for Rebel Broadcasting Company and the station signed off every night with “Rebel Rouser” so you can understand it was no favorite of the Civil Rights movement.

I didn’t care.  I just liked R&B music.  So I played it…a lot of it.

My generation loved the music…of course.  I was a favorite on the campus of Jackson State University…the all black college located a few miles…and 100 years…away.

The Ku Klux Klan, however, wasn’t amused.  I got calls nearly every night from some redneck who objected to the type of music I was playing.  I wasn’t  worried.  I was young, cool and bulletproof…until one particular Friday.

The station was located on the outskirts of town, isolated in a huge field.  The control room was a fishbowl…I could see out, but others could also see in.  Since the station signed off at 1 am, I was alone in the building.

Just before midnight, I go another crank call from a particularly intelligent inbred who identified himself as an official member of the K.K.K. I asked what Kate Smith song he wanted to hear, then hung up.  He called right back.  “Boy,” he hissed, “if you don’t stop playin’ that music, we gonna fix you up.”  I told him to take his sexual aggressions out on his favorite farm animal and turned up Aretha.

A short time later, I noticed a glow coming from outside.  There, on the front lawn of the station, was a burning cross.

I called the police…who probably set the fire to begin with…and waited.  In the meantime, I went on the air live and described the scene.  Fortunately, a large group of Jackson State students came down to the station in a show of support. We even roasted marshmallows before sousing the flames.

This, according to the official who called, is duly noted in the documents set for release.  I was contacted because those who are mentioned may petition to keep their names from becoming a part of public record.  I don’t have a problem being labeled as a supporter of the Civil Rights movement in Mississippi, proud of it in fact…though I like the term “subversive” much better.

And I wondered why I didn’t get elected when I ran for Congress.

“It’s a crazy world, but I live here and if you can hear me singing, so do you.  I’m turning on my nights lights feeling satisfied that there’s nothing anyone of us can do…no there is nothing any one of us can do.”

A Little Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing

8/15/1997

I had one of the most interesting conversations in the past five years this past weekend.  I got the opportunity to spend almost six hours with the PD of an L.A.station, and the information we shared was informative and enjoyable.  The first question you’re asking yourself is why would anyone spend six hours talking with me?  The obvious answers would be: my wit, my charm, my intelligence.  Of course, it was none of those.  The poor  fool agreed to go for a car ride and after the first red light, there was nowhere for him to go.  Trust me on this one:  There are no exit signs in a Porsche going 110 miles-an hour through the California desert.  He wouldn’t ask me to slow down…especially after I showed him the loaded revolver I keep in the glove compartment.

In the course of our conversation, we got around to the problems concerning the radio and record industries and how the two relate to each other.

One of the biggest areas of confusion is a result of the changes taking place at radio.  With stations being bought, sold and traded faster than Marvin Gardens on a Monopoly board, programming has adjusted accordingly.  To quote a phrase:  “It ain’t like it used to be.”

Many of the executives in record companies today worked their way up (or at least are familiar with the process) through the promotion ranks.  Although relationships still drive promotion, the way business is done has changed drastically.  Couple the buying and selling frenzy with the advent of BDS and SoundScan, and PDs have an entirely different set of criteria to judge music in the ‘90s.

Although most music executives pay lip service to the new criteria, many don’t know how the changes have affected the way promotion people deal with radio today.  it might taste like chicken…but it’s definitely frog legs.

Promotion people spend a lot of time explaining to their bosses why a record didn’t get added at a radio station.  The reasons are often quickly dismissed as excuses, when, in reality, those asking the questions don’t understand the answers.

I know someone who had a solution. Gather round the fire, my friends, and let me tell you a story.  Some of it is even true.

In the mid-‘70s, Mo Ostin was President of Warner Bros.  Records.  Although already a legend in the business, Mo wasn’t spotted at many conventions.  Programmers knew who he was, of course, but most had never met him. Mo let his lieutenants do their jobs.  He was occupied with signing some of the greatest acts in history. He didn’t have time to personally deal with radio.

Mo wanted each executive of Warner Bros. Records to know what was expected of the people under their supervision.  To know what to expect, you have to know the job.  And to really know the job, you have to do it.

Mo told each Warner Bros. executive to “work” a new release.  This meant the executive, not a promotion person, had to visit a radio station, talk to the program director and try to get the record added.  Mo chose the record.  Each executive was given a major Top 40 station to visit.  To make sure every executive knew the edict was serious, Mo even went out himself.  Once.

To my knowledge, I’m the only programmer ever promoted on a record by Mo Ostin.  I was the 17-year-old (I told you only some of this was true) PD at KHJ Los Angeles at the time.  When the local Warner Bros. Promotion person asked if Mo could come down and talk with me, I quickly agreed…not knowing what the conversation would be about…and not caring.  Meeting Mo was quite enough.

Mo came to my office and we spent over an hour talking about different aspects of our business.  I learned more in 60 minutes than I had up to that point in my career.  I’m sure Mo will tell you he learned as much from me.  (I told you not all of this would be true!)

At the end of the conversation, he told me of his plan.  He asked if I would listen to the record he had brought with him.  I did.  He then asked if I would add it.

At that time, KHJ was the flagship station of the successful RKO chain.  On a great week, we added maybe three records.  Usually, it was one or two.  Nothing…absolutely, positively nothing out-of-the-box.  If we really believed in a record, we would put it on one of our smaller stations first, then chart its progress before even thinking about adding it at KHJ.

So what did I do?

Added it right away.

Did I know it was a smash?  No way. I added it for two reasons.  First, I figured if Mo Ostin was asking, who was I to say no?  He had never personally asked for a record to be added and it was doubtful he ever would again.  I wasn’t worried about setting a precedent.  And besides, I figured if Mo Ostin can ask me for a favor and I say yes, maybe one day the favor would be returned.

Second, I knew that my adding the record would make the life of every other executive and promotion person a living hell.  I could see Mo going back to his office, picking up the phone and saying, “I got on KHJ, how did you do?”

If Mo could get the record on the tightest, most important station in the nation out-of-the-box, what excuse could any other person use?  I couldn’t wait until the local and regional people were working other records later to give Mo excuses.  I could hear him say, “You need me to go down there?”

It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up…an opportunity more record executives should option.  How often do you get to teach and learn in the same meeting?

Oh, did the song Mo worked become a hit?  Oh, yes.  The artist?  I won’t tell you…but I think he could dance.

Landscaping

7/25/1997

Record sales, or more appropriately, how record sales are tabulated, have drastically changed the landscape of radio programming over the past decade.  But not in the way most record people understand.

In the not-so-distant past, PDs were extremely interested in the tabulation, research and outcome of local record sales.  In the `70s and `80s, singles were still selling dramatically and PDs followed those sales closely.  There were more individually-owned record stores and these store owners were happy to share their sales with local radio stations…it made the stores more important.

Local record promoters worked the stores heavily because record sales related directly to airplay.  Everyone (PDs, promotion people and store owners) was working toward a common goal: to accurately (or by inflation) reflect sales that would correspond to or increase airplay. Nationally, record companies reacted instantly to airplay.  Stores were stocked with free product until orders kicked in and PDs could usually get a good feel as to whether a record would sell within three weeks of initial airplay.

Three weeks!

By today’s standards, that sounds impossible.  But not long ago, three weeks of initial airplay was the over/under mark.  If a record was programmed in regular rotation, it would usually show sales within three weeks or something was wrong:  The record wasn’t a hit or the company was not behind the project enough to stock the stores.  Either way, lack of sales spelled trouble.

“It’s been on for three weeks and hasn’t shown sales” was once an unarguable excuse for dropping a record.

How times have changed!

What happened?  First, large record outlets began gobbling up many of the individual stores.  Soon, these big outlets wanted to control the information and it became harder for PDs to obtain sales stats from individual stores.  The outlets began supplying stations with total sales for the market, but this made it impossible for PDs to follow ethnic or delineated sales from a given area.  Stations are precise in their target demos.  As sales showed only the large melting pot, specific break-outs were impossible to identify.

Next came the diminished impact of single sales.  Since the large outlets (and record companies) made the most money off albums, singles became more difficult to chart.

Record companies made more money…and catered to…the large outlets.  In many cases, the surviving local record stores found it difficult to get immediate product.

The tail began wagging the dog.

Bring SoundScan, Best Buy, K-Mart and Wal-Mart and record sales have become less of a programming tool.  That is a travesty, because sales is the ultimate barometer of a hit record.

Record companies define a hit by sales.  That mentality is not shared by radio because PDs don’t have the means or time.  In the weeks it takes for a company to determine whether a record is going to sell, a PD’s career can be over.  Record companies must recognize this programming reality and adjust their promotion accordingly.

Now, record companies are asking PDs to play a record…and keep on playing it, sometimes for longer than six weeks until sales kick in.  Why?  It takes that long to get records in the pipeline today.  And depending on market size, it can take even longer.

Record companies are concentrating more on major markets because that’s where the majority of the sales are.  On the surface, that’s okay.  But as is often the case with surface beauty, it rubs off at night and sometimes doesn’t stand the test of time.

Record companies are critical of PDs because many put too much emphasis on call-out research.  PDs are left with little choice.  When you don’t have a fast ball, you must rely on your curve. Few PDs have the ability to accurately chart local sales.  They rely on what they can do…call-out research.

Record companies have helped create the monster, now they have to deal with it.  Record companies heavily tout national sales.  If, however, the national sales picture isn’t stellar, PDs react…because that’s how they’ve been programmed.

Sales, of course, have always been the lifeblood of record companies.  But as sales reports have become so immediately important to the success of a record, record companies must find a way to make those sales as immediately important to PDs…so both can share the common goal.

What’s an industry to do?

How about starting a “farm team” of stores in smaller market?  If a record company chose 10 small markets that were generally reflective of the nation as a whole, and babied 10 stores in each market with free product, discounted merchandise and a healthy marketing package, it could alter the landscape again.  Product by new acts could be showcased.  Records could be stocked immediately upon airplay and sales could be accurately charted.  Record companies could immediately feel if a record was real…without spending a marketing fortune. Then, they would have a true sales story to tell to the majors.  PDs would be able to see sales…on local levels.  These PDs the might not feel so paranoid about sticking with a record until national sales kick in.  Record companies could affect what happens tomorrow by going back…to the future.

It would be easy to implement…cost-effective…and make perfect sense.  So there’s absolutely no chance it will happen.

Making Friends

7/18/1997

The past few Editorials and last week’s Hotline have dealt with the importance of relationships in our business.  How are relationships formed?  Through life experiences.

While programming KFRC San Francisco, one of my jocks was on vacation, one was laid up drunk, another was in rehab and the one scheduled to work called in sick.  I was not happy to go on the air.  My top-of-the-hour ID went something like this:

“KFRC San Francisco, it’s eight o’clock, I’m Gerry Cagle and if there are any local promotion people listening, you should call me immediately.”

Burt Baumgartmer, then working as a local for Columbia Records, called from a hot tub.  He dried off, picked up a bottle of Tequila and came to the station to “help” me make it through the shift.  He didn’t have to call.  It would have been easier…and a lot more enjoyable for him and his girlfriend…to pretend he never heard me.  But to show my appreciation…and probably because the Tequila had begun to have its effect, I allowed him not only to play the current stiff he was working, but to introduce it on the air.  We taped the whole thing and sent it to his boss.  We’re still calling each other from the tubs.

While in San Diego, a baby deejay visited in hopes of getting a job.  I listened to his tape and said he wasn’t ready for a large market.  I advised him to try something smaller and let me know how he was progressing.  (He will tell you I told him the tape was terrible and to get out of the business.  How the story is remembered isn’t important…that the story is remembered is.)  He kept in touch.  Some will even say he got better.  Ric Lippincott wound up programming WLS Chicago and now heads up promotion at Curb.

When I was programming KHJ Los Angeles, a PD from a smaller market came by for a tour of the station.  Afterwards, we sat in my office and talked for a long time.  Scott Shannon and I still do.

While heading to a Bobby Poe convention some time ago, I missed a flight and got in too late for the golf tournament.  The local Columbia rep went out of her way to pick me up at the airport (we had never met) and get me to the hotel.  She even carried my golf bag! I still talk with Lisa Wolfe every week.

In Kansas City several years back, I found myself in a bar with Jefferson Starship and RCA’s new regional promotion person.  At two o’clock, we were singing Country songs.  At three, we were in a suite holding hands, trying to communicate through mental telepathy.  (It was a Grace Slick thing…you had to be there.)  Anyhow, Brenda Romano and I are still holding hands.

A promotion person was working me on the Go-Gos’ “Our Lips Are Sealed” at KFRC.  I wouldn’t add it.  He was relentless…he wouldn’t give up.  The record went #1 nationally and as it was coming down the charts, I added it and the new one, “We Got The Beat,” giving him the first (and possibly only) real double in history.  Michael Plen is still relentless in his pursuit of songs he believes are hits and he never fails to remind me of the one I missed.

When I was OM of WAPP New York, I inherited a music coordinator from the Midwest.  He was famous for pizzas with “evvvverything” on them.  He became PD after a few months (turnover being commonplace at my stations).  Steve Ellis and I kept in touch through his radio jobs and move into records.

When I became PD at WRKO Boston, Jim Elliot was a great deejay there.  We had only one problem: I wanted him to work Sundays and he wanted to watch football.  So we compromised.  I let him off Saturday and Sunday…and the rest of the week as well.  We parted company, but not ways. Our paths crossed often…and they still do.

I forced John Fagot to attend a Willie Nelson concert with me in New York.  John was not happy…neither, come to think of it, was Willie.  Too much booze was consumed and John couldn’t drive home.  I let him use my limo.  It was the start of a long, strange trip that continues today.

I used to visit Lake Tahoe almost weekly.  The head of promotions took care of me, always comping everything…including the best suites.  One day, Jim Parsons asked if I could help him get into the record business.  I set up an interview and he got a job, first for Zoo, and now at WORK.

I used to have Wednesday breakfasts with a manager/record executive on La Cienega Boulevard.  I still remember an insurance story he shared.  We haven’t had breakfast in while, but David Geffen has come to my rescue on more than one occasion since.

And maybe the best story is about someone you’ve never heard of.  I worked as a baby deejay with a guy named Michael Jay in Daytona Beach.  I left to program many stations in major markets. Michael never got out of Daytona Beach.  But at every stop, I got a letter or a phone call from him.  More than anything, Michael wanted a shot in a major market, but he wasn’t good enough…and he never asked. When I went to New York…I hired him.  He still wasn’t good enough, but since Ellis was the PD, how good could the station be? Michael’s selling phone books now, but because he kept up a relationship, his dream came true.

What’s the moral of all these stories?  The relationships you make…the relationships you maintain…will live with you and help shape your life and your livelihood.  Everyone one is important.

Work on them.

Nice Try

6/6/1997

I had the occasion to speak with a programmer in a small market this week.  This market is so small that it has no airport…it’s so small, it has a two-digit area code…it’s so small that when the PD calls a staff meeting, he talks to himself…it’s so small that the only promotion he’s ever been offered was a trip to Las Vegas not to play a record…the station is so small that only Atlantic Records calls on them…it’s so small that for the Christmas promotion, the station gave away presents to the 100th caller—and they’re still waiting on a winner…it’s so small, the consultant is Billy Barty…it’s so small that the top nine at nine consists of only six songs, and the EBS test is number three…the station is so small, they pay an independent…it is so small that the station’s call letter is W…it is so small that it’s consulted by John Kilgo…the station is so small, the only trade they report to is Network 40…the station is so small, they do remotes with a bullhorn…so small, the tower double as a speed bump…it’s so small, the highest paid member of the staff is the intern…the station is so small, the request line is a pay phone…it’s so small, the PD thinks BDS is a new brand of underwear…

You get my drift?

Anyhow, the PD copped an attitude and cried on my shoulder because more record companies were not paying attention to his station.  He whined because he couldn’t get service.  He wailed because I was the only one who would listen.

I did what any sensitive, caring member of the record and radio family would do.

I hung up on him.

Our business has evolved into something less than the carnival ride it once was.  That’s why they call it the Music Business and not the Music Fun.  In many cases, it’s more business than fun.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I don’t think anyone ever started a record company or a radio station because they just wanted to lose a lot of money.  The object of whatever game we’re in is to win and the way a winner is determined in business is to count up the cash.

But in all businesses, the ends must eventually justify the means. I, for one, believe that many in our business are making huge mistakes for short-term gains that will come back to bite them in the long run.

This works on both sides of the fence.

Record companies complain that records break out of major markets…smaller markets don’t mean as much as they did in the past because smaller markets don’t break artists.

Record companies are right.  Smaller market radio stations are as tight as larger stations.  And if this is the case, why should a record company care whether or not a smaller radio station plays the record since fewer and fewer people care?  It’s cost-effective to ignore stations that do not directly impact sales or airplay in other markets.

Programmers whine.

There is a way to change this.  Smaller-market programmers should be more open to giving records a shot.  More than that, PDs in smaller markets must be more open to record people.  I understand that PDs in smaller markets are under just as much pressure as their peers in larger markets, but the truth about your job is that if you want to get ahead, you have to be accessible.

Record people have to get this also.  It is understood that most records now break out of major markets.  It is understood that smaller-market PDs are sometimes hard to reach.  It is also a fact of life that PDs in smaller markets grow up to be PDs in larger markets. 

Hello?

Record companies should look at major league baseball teams.  There is absolutely, positively no way a general manager can justify the money major league teams spend on their minor league farm systems.  It isn’t close to being cost-effective.  But the talent that is nurtured and developed will wind up making the difference between profit and loss on the major league level.

Here’s a news flash:  Servicing small-market radio stations isn’t cost-effective.  It can’t be justified to an accountant.  But the relationships made in smaller markets will come back in spades when the PD moves to a market that matters.

Record company promotion people who ignore PDs because of market size are making a mistake that can never be rectified…never.  Once a PD moves up to a major market, he doesn’t need any new friends. He’s got enough from those promotion people who did call when he was in East Jesus, Nebraska.

Let’s not forget those who are programming other formats.  I mentioned a PD to a record person this week and the promotion person said, “I don’t care about him; he’s at an A/C station.  I haven’t talked with him in over a year.”  I told the promotion person the station was changing formats to Top 40.  He hung up quickly to try and get the PD on the phone.  What chance do you think he had?

The difference between a hit record and a stiff are sometimes hard pinpoint.  In many cases, it’s airplay.  It’s a fact that we can’t make a hit.  But if the audience can’t hear it, they can’t like it.  And how do we get airplay? Hmmm.  A relationship sure can’t hurt.

Shouldn’t we work to cover all the bases?  Can we all look at the long haul rather than being so quick to make decisions on short-term gains?  Can’t we understand that we must invest time and money today so there will be a tomorrow?

Nice try.

Keeping In Touch

5/30/1997

The late Marshall McCluhan said, “Communication is the key to understanding.”

If that statement is accurate…and I believe it is as accurate as most…then a lot of us are locked out.  Living in the ’90s is a bitch.  Communicating in the ’90s is confusing at best.  Seeking the means by which one must communicate is often chaotic.

When Marshall McCluhan made the statement, communication was pretty straightforward.  One could speak in person, pick up a phone, write a letter or send a telegram.

Today, those are only your basic options.  Although face-to-face meetings are still the most advantageous, the variations on the rest are enough to drive a normally sane person right over the edge.

Shall I call?  Where?  At home?  At the office?  Which line should I call?  In his car?  What about his mobile?  Maybe I should page him?  Or should I leave a message on voice mail?

What about a letter?  Regular mail?  Overnight?  Morning or afternoon delivery?  Telegram?  Get serious.

Why don’t I just send e-mail?  Do I have his e-mail address?  Home or office?  There’s also video conferencing on the Internet.

By the time you decide the means of communications to use, you’ve forgotten what you wanted to say.

In the past few years, our business has gotten more than a little bit crazy…and it’s driving many of us right around the bend.  Time constraints have made one-on-one communication harder to come by.

This is the very reason Network 40 came up with the Summer Games concept.  Face-to-face communication between people in our business has become so rare that we want to put everyone in a place where relationships…and really getting to know each other…takes its rightful place at the head of the line.  Given our schedules, few of us have time to do this.  That’s why we’ve made time.

Once upon a fairy tale, a promotion person’s job was to live on the road each week meeting with programmers.  Now, a promotion person’s additional responsibilities make road trips more the exception than the rule.

Add to this the increased responsibilities of most program directors.  Taking time to meet with promotion people must be carefully scheduled.  “Drop by anytime and we’ll have dinner,” is now an inoperable phrase.

So, we communicate more and more by phone…and in this decade…by e-mail.  Not so many years ago, you could cruise the Internet with little regard to oncoming traffic.  Today, the Internet is busier than the Hollywood Freeway at rush hour.

There are many advantages to e-mail.  When communication becomes impossible or time constraints make it difficult to share all of your information, e-mail can help.

There are certain rules to keep in mind when using e-mail.  These rules aren’t written on the great website in the sky; I made them up.  But I believe they’re valid.  What say you?

Rule #1: Never let e-mail take the place of person-to-person or telephone conversation.  No matter the nature of your relationship with a person, e-mail is an impersonal medium.  You must be relentless in your pursuit of personal relationships with those in our business.

Why would you expect someone who won’t return your phone calls to read or return your e-mail?  It doesn’t make sense.

“She didn’t return my e-mail,” isn’t an excuse…it’s an admission of defeat.  Don’t use it unless you want to prove you have no juice.

Rule #2: Use e-mail as a backup, not as your primary contact.  Because your time with a programmer is usually limited, e-mail is a perfect way to augment your conversation.  Rather than running down the latest PPWs or sales figures, mention them briefly and say you’ll put the rest on the PD’s e-mail.

Rule #3:  Make your emails brief.  Don’t try to impress the recipient with your eloquent use of the keypad.  Don’t be boring.  E-mail only important information.  Leaving reams of figures on someone’s e-mail is an invitation to be trashed.  The recipient probably won’t read it and certainly won’t be happy the next time an email is left by you.

Short, cryptic notes are most acceptable.  Leave only basic information with a note that if more is needed, you’ll be happy to send it.

Rule #4: Be careful of forwarded e-mail.  Junk e-mail is received with as much fervor as junk mail.  Do not think you’re making points by forwarding jokes or stories.  If you think they’re so good, cut and paste, then send them.  That way they are short, easy to read and personal.

Never, under penalty of Karpel Tunnel Syndrome, forward chain e-mail.  Anyone who sends you chain e-mail should be permanently deleted from your database.

Communication through the Internet will continue to expand.  Tomorrow’s e-mail will make what we have today seem downright archaic.  Be careful what you type.  Big Brother is reading.  CDs are being downloaded and scanners make it possible to see a picture.  Next year, you’ll be able to hook up directly with real-time video.  Then you’ll have to dress up before getting on the Net.

Many are already saying that the Internet is taking the place of bars as a meeting place.  Are we as a society becoming so numb to personal communication that we find it easier to type what we feel?

Hey, I’m a man of the ’90s.  I’ve tried the other ways.  Besides, cruising the Net saves me the cost of drinks.  I’m game to go looking for love in all the wrong places.  It won’t be the first time.  I already have my personal ad.

Desperately Seeking Someone.

I’ll get back to you.

Keeping In Touch

5/30/1997

The late Marshall McCluhan said, “Communication is the key to understanding.”

If that statement is accurate…and I believe it is as accurate as most…then a lot of us are locked out.  Living in the ’90s is a bitch.  Communicating in the ’90s is confusing at best.  Seeking the means by which one must communicate is often chaotic.

When Marshall McCluhan made the statement, communication was pretty straightforward.  One could speak in person, pick up a phone, write a letter or send a telegram.

Today, those are only your basic options.  Although face-to-face meetings are still the most advantageous, the variations on the rest are enough to drive a normally sane person right over the edge.

Shall I call?  Where?  At home?  At the office?  Which line should I call?  In his car?  What about his mobile?  Maybe I should page him?  Or should I leave a message on voice mail?

What about a letter?  Regular mail?  Overnight?  Morning or afternoon delivery?  Telegram?  Get serious.

Why don’t I just send e-mail?  Do I have his e-mail address?  Home or office?  There’s also video conferencing on the Internet.

By the time you decide the means of communications to use, you’ve forgotten what you wanted to say.

In the past few years, our business has gotten more than a little bit crazy…and it’s driving many of us right around the bend.  Time constraints have made one-on-one communication harder to come by.

This is the very reason Network 40 came up with the Summer Games concept.  Face-to-face communication between people in our business has become so rare that we want to put everyone in a place where relationships…and really getting to know each other…takes its rightful place at the head of the line.  Given our schedules, few of us have time to do this.  That’s why we’ve made time.

Once upon a fairy tale, a promotion person’s job was to live on the road each week meeting with programmers.  Now, a promotion person’s additional responsibilities make road trips more the exception than the rule.

Add to this the increased responsibilities of most program directors.  Taking time to meet with promotion people must be carefully scheduled.  “Drop by anytime and we’ll have dinner,” is now an inoperable phrase.

So, we communicate more and more by phone…and in this decade…by e-mail.  Not so many years ago, you could cruise the Internet with little regard to oncoming traffic.  Today, the Internet is busier than the Hollywood Freeway at rush hour.

There are many advantages to e-mail.  When communication becomes impossible or time constraints make it difficult to share all of your information, e-mail can help.

There are certain rules to keep in mind when using e-mail.  These rules aren’t written on the great website in the sky; I made them up.  But I believe they’re valid.  What say you?

Rule #1: Never let e-mail take the place of person-to-person or telephone conversation.  No matter the nature of your relationship with a person, e-mail is an impersonal medium.  You must be relentless in your pursuit of personal relationships with those in our business.

Why would you expect someone who won’t return your phone calls to read or return your e-mail?  It doesn’t make sense.

“She didn’t return my e-mail,” isn’t an excuse…it’s an admission of defeat.  Don’t use it unless you want to prove you have no juice.

Rule #2: Use e-mail as a backup, not as your primary contact.  Because your time with a programmer is usually limited, e-mail is a perfect way to augment your conversation.  Rather than running down the latest PPWs or sales figures, mention them briefly and say you’ll put the rest on the PD’s e-mail.

Rule #3:  Make your emails brief.  Don’t try to impress the recipient with your eloquent use of the keypad.  Don’t be boring.  E-mail only important information.  Leaving reams of figures on someone’s e-mail is an invitation to be trashed.  The recipient probably won’t read it and certainly wont’ be happy the next time emails is left by you.

Short, cryptic notes are most acceptable.  Leave only basic information with a note that if more is needed, you’ll be happy to send it.

Rule #4: Be careful of forwarded e-mail.  Junk e-mail is received with as much fervor as junk mail.  Do not think you’re making points by forwarding jokes or stories.  If you think they’re so good, cut and paste, then send them.  That way they are short, easy to read and personal.

Never, under penalty of Karpel Tunnel Syndrome, forward chain e-mail.  Anyone who sends you chain e-mail should be permanently deleted from your database.

Communication through the Internet will continue to expand.  Tomorrow’s e-mail will make what we have today seem downright archaic.  Be careful what you type.  Big Brother is reading.  CDs are being downloaded and scanners make it possible to see a picture.  Next year, you’ll be able to hook up directly with real-time video.  Then you’ll have to dress up before getting on the Net.

Many are already saying that the Internet is taking the place of bars as a meeting place.  Are we as a society becoming so numb to personal communication that we find it easier to type what we feel?

Hey, I’m a man of the ’90s.  I’ve tried the other ways.  Besides, cruising the Net saves me the cost of drinks.  I’m game to go looking for love in all the wrong places.  It won’t be the first time.  I already have my personal ad.

Desperately Seeking Someone.

I’ll get back to you.

Back To The Future

5/23/1997

A funny thing happened in San Diego last week.  According to one programmer, a Jacor power play prevented an act from participating in his promotion.  The PD, who doesn’t work for Jacor, had contacted a record company and made a deal for an act to perform for the station.  The record company first agreed, then cancelled after Jacor threatened to drop the artist…and other artists on the label…from not only the Jacor station in a competitive format…but from any or all of the six Jacor stations in the market.

All of this information was given by the PD at the competing station.  I didn’t contact anyone with Jacor to see if the story was true.  It isn’t important for this Editorial.  The point is, the general scenario will be.

Welcome to promotion and programming in the ’90s.  Promotion executives are going to have to get used to dealing with radio chains.  PDs are going to have to get used to programming within the framework of a chain…or against the strength of a chain.

You will see more chains flexing their collective muscles.  Whether or not the story about Jacor in San Diego actually happened doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that this will happen in the future…by any or all of the major chains.

I had the opportunity to work for the greatest radio chain in history…RKO.  (I know what you’re saying: “Oh, no… here he goes again, down memory lane…I don’t know if I can stand another story about the good old days.”)  This isn’t a story about how it used to be so much as it is an example of how it will be in the future.

RKO owned and/or consulted top-rated stations in 12 large markets.  Because the company chose to operate the stations as a chain, a record couldn’t break into the top 10 without airplay on the RKO chain.

This gave RKO unbelievable power.

Many of the stations were programmed identically.  The Top 40s in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, Detroit, San Francisco, San Diego and Memphis ran basically the same clocks, jingles and stopsets.  The same IDs and voicers were used on all.  Chain promotions were done at least once each quarter with identical elements on all stations.

Because the programming was similar, if not identical, every station shared research.  On Mondays, sales, request, call-out and other research were reviewed and a music conference call took place between all PDs.  This was after each PD met with the individual music directors to prepare their music suggestions.  And you needed to be prepared!  After the national picture was given, each PD “suggested” records to add to their stations.  Then the music call ended.

Tuesday morning, the RKO music coordinator would tell each PD what records would be added to the chain.  PDs could pitch for specific records for their stations…and often you could win, but chain adds were played by every station…no exception.

The RKO chain got every exclusive…every promotion…every concert…and anything else record companies could come up with.  If you were a PD in the RKO chain, you had your pick of everything record companies had to offer.

If, however, you were on the other side, the opposite was true.  Everything was brought to the RKO chain first.

Bill Drake, and later Paul Drew, the VPs of Programming for the chain, were both honorable.  If a record company offered a promotion and RKO passed, the company was free to offer the promotion to competing stations. What happened when this protocol wasn’t followed?

Now, it’s storytime.

After I left KHJ Los Angeles and the comfort of the RKO chain, I consulted KYA San Francisco…the direct competitor of RKO’s KFRC.  I came up with a fantastic promotion based around a new release by Chicago, “Another Rainy Day In New York City.”  You’ve never heard of it?  I wonder why.

Bob Sherwood, then VP promotion for Columbia, respected the idea, gave me the promotion and I jammed it up KFRC’S call letters.  Paul Drew was not amused.  He gave Sherwood the opportunity to pull the promotion and give it to RKO, or the record would never be added to the chain.

Sherwood held strong.  He said the promotion was my idea, not Columbia’s…RKO had no right to ask for it.

Drew accepted Sherwood’s answer.  The RKO chain didn’t add the record.  It peaked at #64 on the charts.

Did the power of the RKO chain keep the record from being successful?  Who knows?  Maybe it wasn’t a hit.  It certainly didn’t get a lot of airplay…none in most major markets.

The singles released before and directly after “Another Rainy Day In New York City.”  (with promotions gladly given by Columbia) and played by the RKO chain peaked at #5 and #1 respectively.  Coincidence?  Right…

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Bob Sherwood…or any other Sr. VP Promotion…never gave RKO’s competition a promotion again. Who wants to find out the hard way your record won’t be a hit?

This power is too much for radio companies to ignore.  Companies are now buying multiple stations in the same market to dominate local sales.  It’s only a matter of time before a chain makes the decision to program many of its stations (in multiple markets) in identical formats to dominate sales and promotions nationally.  With the ownership limits greatly relaxed, a chain today can be even more dominant than RKO.

Strap yourself in.  It’s going to be a wild ride as we go back to the future.