Affecting Change

5/2/1997

Maybe it’s because it’s my birthday.  (Ah, now don’t you feel bad that you didn’t get me a present?  And you wonder why I write bad things about you?)  There are two times a year that automatically bring on reflective contemplation: birthdays and the New Year.  What ever the reason, I feel compelled to take a step back and take a good look at myself and my situation.  Although this “reflective contemplation” happens to coincide with my birthday (where’s my present?), this is something I try to do more than twice a year.

I believe it to be absolutely, positively important to study ourselves if we are to continue to grow.  Otherwise, we might get the false impression that where we are is where we would like to end up.  The instant you are content with all you have is the moment you begin to lose those things you’ve struggled to attain.  We have to keep moving forward.  The absence of any forward momentum is the beginning of sliding backwards.

In our business, it’s so easy to be satisfied with where we are.  We are in the business of hype and too often we buy into what we’re selling.  With so many people paid to tell us how great we are, many times we believe what others are saying is the truth.

I admit I’m not like the average bear.  I fight complacency daily.  I try to do the simplest things differently so I won’t all into any habit of doing even the smallest things the same way.  I take a different route to the office each day, sleep on different sides of the bed, sleep in the guest bedroom, eat lunch at breakfast and vice versa.

You may think I’m crazy…you aren’t the first.  (I have been accused, but never institutionalized for any consecutive period longer than 15 days.)  I believe in the philosophy, “All change is for the better.”  Although I welcome and accept the changes that occur naturally in my life, I go one step further and try to stimulate change to make myself and my situation better…or if not better…different.

I heard someone give a recipe for changing habits and beliefs for the better and many of the ingredients have stuck with me.  I share them with you so that on your birthday…or the New Year…or when you have time, you can “taste test” them for your appetite.

As I recall the lesson…and from my life experiences with others…I find that most of us are resistant to change.  We get used to doing things one way…why change?  The old adage, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” might not be in our best interest.

Losing a job can be a devastating experience.  One only has to read our continuing “Hell On The Beach” or this week’s Hotline to understand what havoc the loss of a job can wreak.  It’s my philosophy (sharpened on the blade of many “termination axes”) that if we are constantly searching for changes in our lives, changes dictated by outside sources will do less damage.

Why are we so resistant to change?  Pride plays a big part.  “I don’t have to change.  I’m perfect the way I am.  I can’t get any better.”  Bullshit.

Fear is another reason.  Too many of us fear the unknown.  But don’t you have faith in yourself?  If you don’t, you need much more help than this Editorial will bring.  Faith is spelled R-I-S-K.  You build self-confidence by taking chances…by taking risks.  You can talk and pretend all you want, but until you step out and challenge your beliefs, they mean nothing.

Laziness I another reason we reject change.  It’s easy to put off actions until tomorrow.  Making changes in your life takes a commitment.  It isn’t a slam dunk.  Most people would change if they could take a pill or a quick home study course.  Those same people are too lazy to affect any change.  They’re waiting for the perfect time.  Well, there is never a perfect time.

Apathy is another reason.  Many people just don’t care enough to change.

What about you?  Are there things in your life you would like to change?  I’m not talking about smoking or drinking (although those habits should be broken), but about making positive changes in your life that will directly affect your future.  If so, let me offer the same advice that was offered to me this past week by someone who jogged my memory.

First, you must determine what you need to change. You just can’t make a broad, sweeping statement about changing your life.  You must have a vision of what you want to be, but identify the small changes you must make to begin the journey.

You also must have good information.  It’s fine to determine what changes you should make, but ask others.  By others, I mean close friends, family or mentors…not those paid to tell you how great you are.

You must accept that there are risks involved. There is an old saying, “The truth will set you free.”  Accurate, but there is a second verse, “…but first it will make you miserable.”  Don’t expect everyone to rejoice and be happy because you’ve decided to make changes.  Some will not understand and many might be hurt by your undertaking.

Once you have decided to make positive changes in your life, you must be patient.  Remember, you’re taking baby steps.  Just because you’ve decided to “be a better person” doesn’t mean all the improvements will happen overnight.  On the contrary.  Old habits are difficult to break.  It will sometimes be hard to judge your progress.  Remember it took you a long time to get where you are.

And as difficult as it is, it is just that simple. If you want to change, you can.

Remember, it isn’t where you’ve been that is important.  It’s where you’re going.