Return Of The Anti-Christ

3/7/1997

The howls should have been the giveaway.  Aren’t they always?  For you people who didn’t grow up in the South, who didn’t develop that special affinity with nature…who never laid down with the dogs on the front porch…who weren’t held close to your mother’s breast when the hounds began to bay late at night…I guess you don’t really understand.  Try to fake it.

The hounds began baying last week.  I should have seen the early warning.  But those parasitic creatures that prey on the toil and work of the truly talented are not as dumb as they look.  Although it’s pretty tough to look any dumber than Howard Lander, Sean Ross, Kevin Carter and Theda Sandiford-Waller.

These four “geniuses” are in charge of defining and implementing Billboard Monitor’s charts.  In their infinite wisdom, the Gang of Four changed the formats of six major stations.

Did you know that Hot 97 New York, KMEL San Francisco, KBXX Houston, 92Q Baltimore, WJMH Greensboro and WPGC Washington, D.C. changed formats last week?  According to the Monitor, these stations are now Urban and information from these stations will be processed only on the Urban charts in the Monitor.  Once again, a trade magazine is making decisions better left to programmers.

Remember when R&R tried to dictate their policies on the industry?  The backlash was so great that R&R still hasn’t recovered and probably never will.

Well, guess what happened to the Monitor on the way to the bank?  Those in charge have decided to dictate their beliefs to the rest of the industry.

If R&R was way out of line, the Monitor has obliterated it…because their plot is much more insidious.

First of all, how the Gang of Four decided to change the formats of these radio stations makes communist China look like an open society. Without releasing any criteria…without asking for information from the radio stations involved…without seeking input from the programmers…or any programmers…without seeking counsel from anyone in the record business, the Gang of Four made a decision that could affect the success of these stations and the livelihood of those working there.

Why?  It’s simple.  The Monitor and the Gang of Four don’t care about radio.  They don’t care about the record industry.  They only care about themselves. Why else would they make a decision in secret…a decision that drastically changes the flavor of the Monitor Crossover Chart…without asking for input from anyone else?

Here is the scary part:  The “chosen” stations can’t do a thing about it.  You see, the Monitor doesn’t ask radio for input or information.  The Monitor just takes it.  Since the Monitor uses BDS, radio has no recourse when the Monitor dictates any changes.

At Network 40, we never dictate to the industry.  As I have said many times before, we reflect the opinions and views of those in our industry.  We let radio stations tell us their format…it’s never the other way around.

But, let’s suppose a station reports to Network 40 and we don’t believe the playlist supports the station’s format definition.  We simply inform the program director that we won’t include the station in formulating reports for that format.

The Monitor doesn’t give a station that luxury.  The Monitor decides what the station is and publishes that result.  This will cost the station valuable time, defending its position to advertisers and other interested parties.  It could cost valuable advertising dollars. 

It will also cost the record industry.  Quite simply, the Monitor’s Crossover Chart won’t be reflective of Crossover radio in general.  It will extremely limit an Urban record’s ability to cross over to the Mainstream.  The outlet for Urban records now becomes smaller because of the Monitor’s shortsighted, selfish, stupid decision.

Who wanted this change?  Who asked for it?  Who was not satisfied with the panel?

Does anyone in our business define Steve Smith, Jay Stevens or the rest of the “chosen” programmers as Urban PDs?  Only the Gang of Four.  As Michelle Santosuosso and Joey Arbagey said, “We’re about music…not definitions.”  That’s fine, except the Monitor has chosen to define you.

What gives them that right?  Unlike the staff at Network 40, these geniuses have no radio or record experience.  Oh, please forgive me.  Howard and Theda probably know how to turn a radio on.  Probably to a Talk station.  And I forgot.  Once upon a time, Kevin was actually on the air in Fresno.  And Sean did know how to work Selector. 

So I guess these people are qualified to make ignorant decisions.  The only one truly “qualified” would be Sean.  He worked at Billboard where he got a lot of experience in reasoning accurately to inaccurate conclusions.

There’s reason it’s windy in New York.  The Monitor blows.

What can the industry do?  Talk is cheap…and the Gang of Four won’t listen.  Two major record companies have cancelled advertising with more to follow.  Programmers can refuse to use or quote the Monitor charts.

The Monitor’s decision leaves Network 40 with the only Crossover panel…a panel decided by the radio stations and recognized by the entire industry.  No other publication offers computer-generated plays faxed from music scheduling software.  We’ll accept the responsibility…and act responsible.

What should we do to the Gang of Four?  I say, sic the hounds on ’em.