Leftovers

12/6/1996

Here are some random thoughts I garnered over the Thanksgiving holidays:

It wasn’t long enough.  More people are talking about being burned out in our business than ever before.  I witnessed one record executive, his feet propped up on a couch on Thanksgiving  Day, talking about how he couldn’t wait until the Christmas vacation.

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Was I the only one who thought stuffing the turkey and promoting records were one and the same thing?

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I was playing golf with my good friend Charlie Bennett, who is 78 and retired.  (Ask Bill Richards how good a golfer Charlie is!)  The course was crowded.  I was bitching.  (I know it sounds hard for those of you who are familiar with my calm demeanor to believe, but I was actually getting aggravated.)

Charlie said, “One good recession would cure these crowds out.”

I relate the above to the record business.  The last few months haven’t exactly been the healthiest in our blood sport.  However, it’s nothing one big hit wouldn’t cure.

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Is it just me or is it really getting ugly out there?  I’ve never heard more people bitching about other people, their jobs and their lives in general.  It seems like we have to complain even when we’re satisfied.  I actually heard the following exchange:

“John just got a job at Dweebe Records.”

“Doing what?”

“That slug?  He couldn’t close a door, much less a record.  I’m better than him.  I wonder why they didn’t talk to me?”

“I thought you guys were friends?”

“John and I?  The best.”

“Oh.”

“How much is he making?”

“About one hundred thousand.”

“Jesus Christ!  That’s such bullshit! I work my ass off twice as hard as he will and I don’t make half that.  This is absolutely unfair.”

“Why don’t you quit?”

“Why would I quit?  I love my job.”

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Am I the only one who is over this cigar thing?  Suddenly, everyone is smoking them and everyone is an expert.  With the possible exception of Todd Cavanah, five years ago most programmers thoughts a Macanudo was a strip club in Las Vegas.

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If more programmers chewed tobacco and were careless where they spit, would music meetings with record promoters last nearly as long?

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I have the best job in the business.  I’m also the very best at what I do.  Of course, being the only person who does what I do makes doing it a lot more comfortable than other situations.  But don’t be fooled.  It isn’t easy being me.  (Who am I trying to kid?  I’m just looking for sympathy.  It’s a piece of cake!)

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I’ve never heard more people with more opinions about what KIIS FM Los Angeles should do.  Everybody’s a programming genius.

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Why is the stock market setting new records and all of my radio stock is going down?

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Will everyone who ate too much please raise their hands?

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Will everyone who bitched too much please raise their hands?

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Will everyone who loved too much please raise their hands?

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If you counted all the minutes that you bitched about your job and your life this past weekend, then compared it to the amount of time you spent giving thanks for what you have, which would win?

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I am the best cook I know.  For that fact, each Thanksgiving, I give thanks to Lela Maye.

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How many people wished they were somewhere else this Thanksgiving?  How many people wished they were with some-one else?  How many people were with other people who were wishing they were with someone else?

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How many people reading this think their opinion is the only one that matters?

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I heard something every interesting over the Thanksgiving holidays.  A friend of mine had a pad full of New Year’s resolutions.  He compiles them each Thanksgiving.  He chooses several, then gives them a “test run” through the Christmas holidays to see which ones (a) make a difference in his life, and (b) he has a snowballs’ chance in hell of not breaking.  Just before the New Year, he finds a couple and sticks with them.  It’s an interesting policy…one I’m giving a “test run” this year.  This way I won’t be so impulsive.

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Why is our business so ugly?  Why can’t we be happy for every record that shows life?  For every promotion person who gets a better position?  For every radio station that trends up?  For every programmer who gets a better gig?  Why must we constantly criticize everyone and everything that happens in our business…as long as it isn’t happening to us?  Is it possible that others aren’t as bad as we think and we aren’t as good as we are?

Naah!