Why?

7/29/1994

I was reminded of one of my favorite Blues tunes yesterday. The lyrics came to mind during a phone call from Danny Buch of Atlantic Records. Danny was sharing his excitement about an idea that had blossomed into a great promotion for his company.

After commuting into New York City for who-knows-how-many years, Danny finally had enough of the silence he endured going through the Holland Tunnel. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the drive from New Jersey into the city, if you don’t go through the Holland Tunnel, you ain’t gonna get there. (Unless you go way north over the George Washington Bridge, but that another story, another promotion and another Editorial.) Anyhow, that trip through the tunnel can take anywhere from two to twenty minutes during a regular commute. More, of course, if there is an accident. And while you’re in the tube, you can’t hear anything. It’s like being underwater. You’re cut off from all communication with the outside world. Forget your radio. Forget your mobile phone. For those few minutes, you’re all alone with your thoughts. And for many people, especially New Yorkers, that can be a very scary feeling.

So Danny started playing, “What if?” and came up with some startling ideas. “What if we could somehow play music (Atlantic product, of course) to the people in the cars?” How could that happen? The tunnel shut out all forms of communication, didn’t it? Maybe…maybe not.

Danny had seen all the signs near airports instructing motorists to tune to a certain AM channel for traffic instructions. He wondered, “What if we could do the same thing in and around the Holland Tunnel? Impossible, right?

Danny checked it out and found that he could operate AM transmitters that broadcast in a very restricted area. If the transmitters operated at less than 1/10^th of a watt (about ¼ of a mile in reach), the FCC had no jurisdiction. That meant no license to contend with, no rules and regulations to follow and, most important, no format restrictions.

Atlantic purchased the transmitters and produced tapes of their artists. This week, it’s B Tribe. Next week? Another artist. Sexy-voiced Sr. VP Promotion Andrea Ganis announces the song and the artist on the “station” and advises listeners where they can buy the CD at the lowest possibly price.

Atlantic promotion people swarmed the sidewalks on each side of the tunnel wearing sandwich boards advertising commuters to “Tune Your Radio To AM 1510 For Music And Money.” In the future, Atlantic plans to run contests giving away cash and prizes. Listeners will be told to go to specific retail outlets, buy the CD and possibly win thousands of dollars in cash.

Nearly two million people travel through the Holland Tunnel every day. Out of that two million, I’m sure there are many who work for companies that would benefit by some form of advertising to the rest of the moles. When the sandwich boards went up and the transmitters went on, the majority of those two million commuters said, “Holy Cow, why didn’t I think of that?”

It’s a fantastic promotion aimed at the primary, music-buying demographic sought by most advertisers. A cume-building monster. Forget quarter-hour increases, this locks your audience for tunnel time!

It’s designed for radio. It’s on radio. And a radio programmer didn’t think of it. Why?

That makes me want to puke.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m taking nothing away from Atlantic Records. As connected to radio as they are, Danny and Andrea could probably out program half the PDs out there anyhow.

This just points out how sometimes pointless radio can be to the listening public.

Network Forty, countless conventions, newspapers, newscasts and town criers have warned of the impending communications gridlock on the superhighway. With more and more outlets from which to choose, listeners will be tempted to abandon commercial radio. But that isn’t radio’s biggest problem. Radio’s biggest problem is radio. Why is there no creativity that used to make our medium exciting? Why are there no great promotions designed to stimulate the audience?

They ain’t here no more. Why? Because most programmers aren’t up to the task.

Most programmers spend too much time behind a music computer making sure the flow is right. Here’s a news flash: Why not design the format, define the rules and insist that the air personalities adhere to those rules? Give them the opportunity to create their own music flow within the format. If they can’t do it, find others who can.

Most PDs spend too much time in focus groups. Why? With all due respect, f you don’t inherently know who your audience is and what music they like, find another line of work.

Why can’t you make your station exciting? Stop spending so much time researching your audience. Spend more time on developing a market through exciting promotions.

What happened to innovation? Excitement? The guts to do something so off-the-wall that it attracts listeners to your attitude…not your 10-in-a-row format that anyone and everyone can duplicate? More and more, the audience is identifying with that attitude. Music and formatics are important, but with music crossing formatic barriers with listener impunity, you have to do more to make your station stand out from the rest.

What will make the difference? Your talent.

Basically, every Top 40 plays the same hits; what should set a station apart is an aggressive and entertaining promotional presence…a presence that can only be found in the theatre-of-the-mind. Imagine WNCI packing four listeners in a “B.O. Sphere” car or KQHT’s “Turkey Bungee Jumping.” Why are stations such as KROQ, KRBE and KDWB regularly featured on our Promotions Page? Because too many Top 40s simply give away cash and concert tickets to the umpteenth caller.

Why?

Because as a program director, you’re spending too much time on other things that aren’t as important. Or because you just aren’t good enough.

Oh year. The name of the song? Delbert McClinton’s “Why? Why? Why?”

You had to ask?